A Lost Dream
by McJinx64
Summary: A few years ago, Meredith lost not just Derek but nearly her entire family. After a terrible accident, she is left with the care of her niece; Laura Grey. Will Meredith ever find love again? And will Derek find his way back to her?
1. How Do I Live Without You

**A**** Lost**** Dream**

**_Chapter 1 How Do I Live Without You_**

It was 12.43 a.m. and Meredith was supposed to end her evening shift at midnight. Walking down the hallway, she tried to find Owen Hunt so he could clear her patient. Meredith, by now tired and annoyed because she couldn't find the attending physician, poked her head in one of the examination rooms. She encountered a patient, lying on an exam table with an IV in one arm and a splint on the other. He looked up at Meredith, wide-eyed. "Are you my doctor?" he asked, slightly impatient. "I've been lying here for hours!" Meredith bit her bottom lip but quickly stepped back. "Excuse me Sir…someone will be right with you," she mumbled while she darted out of the room. She peeked into several rooms, still trying to find Hunt, who seemed to have vanished into thin air. In one of the rooms, Lexie was performing a lumbar puncture on a boy while his mother nervously watched. A nurse held the boy's legs in an awkward position while Lexie carefully maneuvered the spinal needle through the layers of tissue in search of the boy's precious fluids. "Good job Lexie," Meredith whispered softly while Lexie looked up and proudly nodded. "Have you seen Hunt?" Meredith tried but Lexie shook her head. Meredith sighed and was about to leave the room when she heard Izzie's voice. "I've seen him, Mere…he was heading for the basement."

"Thanks!" Meredith smiled while she turned and left the room in search of the attending physician. She navigated the narrow hallways and passed medicine and supply rooms when her pager suddenly flared to life…_**beep…beep…beep…beep…beep...**_

Meredith sighed but halted. She reached into her pocket and retrieved her pager; the digital read out: 911 emergency call, report to the ER…STAT! With a desperate moan, she turned and ran back to the emergency room…her shift was far from being over!

*** * ***

The Emergency room was bustling with activity, the stench of betadine lingering in the air. A lone man sat by a gurney, turned towards some lifeless figures lying on metal beds covered by green sheets. The man sat hunched over in his seat, mumbling over and over…"I didn't mean to…it was an accident…it was an accident!"

Meredith tore her eyes from the deceased patients and headed towards the pit. "I need suction over here!" Hunt yelled. A nurse dutifully complied while Owen was running all over the room. "Where the hell is everyone?" he hollered.

Meredith stepped inside and slipped into a yellow cover-up, putting on some surgical gloves. "I'm here…where do you want me?"

"Here…hold this!" Owen snapped.

Meredith's hands moved rapidly as she set to work. Still cross by Hunt's bluntness, she didn't seem to recognize the patient.

"I need Shepherd in here…where is he?" Hunt asked, a little calmer now. "Derek went home," Meredith said irritably, not taking her eyes off the tube she was inserting. "His shift ended hours ago…," she narrowed her eyes "…just like mine!"

Completing the tube, she'd been inserting, Meredith bent closer to take a good look at the patient. A wave of shock passed over her as she looked down and finally recognized the person on the gurney. "Oh…my…God," she brought out while her hands started trembling "…_this…this is my sister…**Molly**_!"

*** * ***

Meredith Grey closed her eyes as one awful memory after another besieged her. Today it was exactly two years ago since she'd lost nearly her entire family. Her dad, Molly and Molly's husband had been killed in an awful car crash. "Mommy…are you sad?" A small hand gently waved itself in front of Meredith's face as she found reality again. The flashback of images faded into the crevices of Meredith's memory as the young girl crawled onto her lap. Meredith, a little overwhelmed, simply nodded. She bent down to the little girl's short stature, gently hugging her. Planting a small kiss on her cheek, she met Laura's big eyes with her own. "I was…but now I'm not because you're here!"

Meredith glanced at her watch. "Oh shoot…I'm almost late for work! Laura go get your doll and meet me here!"

"OK…mommy!"

The little girl dashed out of the room while Meredith tenderly watched her. Laura was the only one who'd survived the terrible crash and Meredith had felt obligated to adopt her niece. Meredith closed her eyes and was once again lost in thoughts. Although Laura was her all, she'd also had lost a lot. She couldn't exactly pinpoint when she and Derek had started to drift apart but it had happened…and now she was alone…well not really alone…she had Laura!

"I'm ready to go mommy!"

Meredith opened her eyes and smiled. "OK…we're off!" Meredith grabbed Laura's little hand as they left the house for work.

*** * ***

The trauma alert went off in Boston medical Centre's emergency department and the triage nurse hurried to pick up the CB radio. "I have an eighteen-old-year female involved in a car crash," the paramedic informed the nurse. "She appears to have some head and neck injuries as well as chest and abdominal injuries! ETA four minutes!"

Meredith Grey, resident of BMC's surgical floor came down to the ER from her on-call room on the third floor just as the paramedics wheeled in the young victim. Although Meredith was in charge, there were few instructions she had to give because the standard procedure was in effect. Her team of interns made sure the young woman had an airway; they'd taken her vital signs, started an IV and drew blood samples. Then they'd taken preliminary X-rays of her neck, chest and pelvis.

"90 over 60, Doctor Grey," one of Meredith's interns announced. "Pulse 120. Hemoglobin 15!" Meredith nodded while she bent over the young woman. The blood count was normal but her blood pressure was lower than normal and her heart was running fast…too fast, which probably meant she was losing blood…the question was from where? Meredith thought to herself.

"Alright," Meredith said. "Do we know her name yet?"

One of the interns glanced at the paramedics' paperwork. "Kristin," she announced. "Kristin Keighly."

"_Kristin_?" Meredith softly said, speaking to the young girl. "Is that your name, sweetie?"

The young girl didn't answer. She just opened and closed her eyes.

Meredith smiled and nodded. "OK…Kristin, I'm Doctor Grey and this is doctor Kim and we're here to take care of you. You've been in a car accident and you're in a hospital. Do you understand?"

With the oxygen mask still covering her mouth, the answer came out sounding like a grunt but it was affirmative enough for Meredith to continue.

"I'm going to ask you some questions and give you a quick examination so we can determine your condition OK?"

Kristin groaned. Then, squirming a little, she murmured through the mask. "It hurts…it hurts so much."

"I know it hurts," Meredith said soothing, taking Kristin's hand. "And I like to make it better. But I can't give you anything just yet because if we give you any pain medication you might not be able to tell us where it hurts and we need you to tell us where it hurts so we can make it better!"

Meredith started examining the young girl's eyes. "Eyes are equal and reactive."

"Kristin…listen to me," Meredith said firmly but friendly. "I want you to take some deep breaths."

As Meredith listened with her stethoscope, a wave of pain appeared on Kristin's face every time she took a breath but her lungs appeared to be clear. "Breath sounds equal and present bilaterally," Meredith announced to her interns. Then she turned to Kristin. "Does it hurt when you breathe?"

Kristin nodded.

Meredith began to examine the chest. Kristin's skin felt warm and moist and Meredith noticed sweat building on the young girl's forehead. Meredith worked her way slowly but thoroughly across Kristin's chest, pressing gently on her rib cage, feeling for tender spots. All over sudden, Kristin screamed and Meredith quickly let up on the spot.

"OK," she said. "I'm sorry Sweetie! Tender left upper quadrant with possible crepitance of the left lower ribs," Meredith announced.

Just then, the X-ray technician came into the room. "Film's ready, doctor Grey."

Meredith smiled and took over the large envelope. "Thanks. Kristin…can you hear me?"

The girl opened her eyes and nodded.

"You're doing fine," Meredith said. "I have to step out for a minute but doctor Kim here is going to take good care of you while I take a look at what's going on inside of you. But I won't be long…promise!"

Meredith quickly glanced on Kristin's vital signs but her blood pressure and pulse were holding steady…then she quickly went to the other side of the room and put the X-rays up on the light box.

"No pneumothorax," Meredith mumbled softly but then she nodded. Rib fractures. Left ribs 9-11. That's why Kristin was having trouble breathing. Rib fractures were extremely painful and could turn grown men into babies.

Meredith went on, looking at Kristin's neck and pelvic X-rays but the C-spine was clear and pelvic looked normal.

"Doctor Grey?" Kim said, her voice more urgent than it had been. "Her blood pressure's falling. She's getting more tachycardic!"

Meredith turned around and looked at the monitors. Kristin was 80 systolic and her heart rate had went up to 170 while her hemoglobin had dropped to 12. Kim looked at Meredith, her face tense. They both were thinking the same thing.

"Do you want me to do a wash?" the intern asked.

Meredith nodded and Sara Kim asked a nurse for a peritoneal lavage tray. She made an incision in Kristin's belly button and then carefully pushed a narrow piece of plastic tubing into the hole she'd made while Meredith calmly monitored the procedure. Kim attached the tube to a syringe with saline solution and slowly squeezed the plunger on the syringe, gradually pushing the solution into Kristin's belly. When the syringe was almost empty, she carefully began to pull up on the plunger, aspirating the fluid back into the syringe. What came back was a deep red.

"Grossly bloody," Kim said and Meredith nodded. "OK…listen up. I think she's got a splenic rupture. Hang more fluids, cross her for six units and let's get her to the OR…_stat_!"

With Meredith's order, the whole team began to focus on transferring the girl to an OR.

"Kristin?" Meredith said to the girl, taking her hand. "You're doing good but we're going to take you upstairs so we can take a look at what's going on inside you…OK?"

Kristin's eyes were vacant, she looked at Meredith and then closed them.

"OK…let's go," Meredith announced. "Sara…you did a good job. Wanna scrub in?"

The intern shone with pride and quickly nodded. They took the gurney to the OR section while Meredith and her intern followed to scrub in.

*** * ***

Kristin's operation had went well and now Meredith headed towards her office. She showered quickly, tying her hair into a messy pony tail. She tossed her used scrubs into the hamper and changed. Soon she made her way to Boston's day-care Centre, located on the second floor.

Laura was hungry, tired and a little bit grouchy, adding to Meredith's guilt for being late.

"Come on, Laura."

"I'm tired." Laura hopped from one foot to the other.

"I'm too tired to carry you Laura…you're almost four and a big girl. Up you get!"

Laura began whining, her limbs limp as Meredith tried to pull her to her feet.

"Laura Jennifer Grey, get up…now!" Meredith made another attempt to pull Laura to her feet but the child's hands slipped through her own hands like wet noodles. Meredith moaned. God, she hated when Laura was like this.

Sandra, one of the caregivers intervened, giving Meredith a knowing smile and addressing Laura. "Up you go Laura. It's time for all of us to go home."

Laura looked up and then complied. Meredith felt a sting of guilt. It was bad enough that she was late, but even worse was that Laura responded better to the staff than to her mom.

Meredith sighed and than swallowed hard, taking Laura's hand. The last, few months had been particularly hard. She'd been stuck working late more than once and things at home with Laura had been really tense.

*** * ***

"Congratulations, doctor Grey…you've once again passed your exams! Two more years on your residency and you're a certified surgeon…and an excellent one, if I may add!" The Chief shook Meredith's extended hand and than proceeded to the next resident. Meredith's interns ran up to her and kissed her on both cheeks, congratulating and hugging her.

The party was winding down when the Chief approached Meredith. He sat down next to her and together they watched the dancing crowd.

"Will you be staying in Boston after your residency, Meredith? You know I would love to keep you here…you're an excellent surgeon!"

Meredith shrugged and looked at her drink. There were little flakes of confetti inside her tequila glass and she put it down with a thud. Her face started to flush a little and suddenly she looked very tired. "I don't know Sir."

"You don't know?"

"I'm thinking about moving back to Seattle…mostly for Laura and my sister Lexie but…," Meredith went silent and stared straight ahead.

"Bad memories?"

Meredith nodded. "Some…but not all of them!"

"You should do what your heart tells you to do." The Chief lifted his glass a few inches and when he noticed, it was empty, he set it down again.

Meredith turned to the Chief and softly said. "Are you married Sir?"

The Chief shook his head. "I used to be."

"What was it like?"

The Chief leaned away from the bar a little and looked sideways at Meredith. "It was nice."

"That's it…just nice?"

The Chief smiled and than shrugged.

"How old are you Meredith?"

"I'm almost thirty-one…Sir."

The Chief frowned and then caught the bar man's eye. He nodded and the bartender took his glass away and came back with new ones…one for him and one for Meredith.

The Chief glanced at Meredith and smiled. "How about you Meredith…have you never been close to marriage?" He saw that he'd stunned her. His face softened and he looked down at his hands. Meredith was sweet in her way. She was one of the best residents he'd ever had but sometimes she was so hard to read.

Meredith looked down on her knuckles and became quiet for a moment. "…there has been a man…!" Meredith said the words slowly.

The Chief drained his drink and it made him clear his throat. "There was? Do tell…Oh…I'm sorry Meredith…I'm being too…,"

Meredith waved her hand and her nostrils flared a little. "No…it's OK, Sir." Meredith slowly turned on her bar stool and told the Chief everything about Derek Shepherd…how she'd met him…and how they eventually broke up after that terrible accident.

*** * ***

In the morning mail, Meredith found a colorful birthday card, addressed to Laura. It lay between her electric bill and a flyer from a nearby mall. She carried the mail to the kitchen and switched on the lamp that cast a circle of light on the table. A smile crept to her lips as she read the card:

"Happy Birthday Laura…lot's of kisses from aunt Lexie. Miss you so much. Hugs and kisses!" Meredith laid the card in the warm circle of light on the table and telephoned her sister who lived across the country.

Marc Sloane, Lexie's husband answered the phone. "Hi Meredith…how are you?"

"I'm fine, thanks Marc…is Lexie home?"

"MEREDITH? Is everything alright?" Lexie's voice was a tone or two above ordinary conversation.

"Hi…sis. Yes, fine. Yeah…Laura's fine too. I just wanted to thank you for her Birthday card!"

"Did she like it?"

Meredith smiled. "She's still in bed…I'll show it to her later. I bet she'll love it, especially those puppies!"

"Ahhh…I wish I could see her face," Lexie's voice came out as a whisper and Meredith knew, Lexie was moved.

"I miss you and Laura so much," a strangled sob sounded through the phone and Meredith had to swallow hard. "I miss you too, Lex…," she replied softly.

"Promise me, you'll come soon!" Meredith heard Lexie say over the phone.

"I promise…really."

"I've have to go Lexie…I hear Laura…Bye."

"Bye…and kiss Laura from me!"

"I will!"

Meredith hung up the phone and studied the card for a second time. A small smile curled her lips as she stood to get Laura from her room. It was time to celebrate Laura's fourth birthday!

*** * ***

Meredith stood in front of the Richard's secretary fumbling through her pockets for her ID card.

"Hello. Doctor Grey isn't it?"

Meredith nodded.

"My name's Heather…I'm Patricia's replacement. We've spoken on the phone…earlier. Chief Webber is expecting you!" Meredith smiled and shoved the card back into her pocket while Heather rose from behind her desk. She opened the door to Richard's office and made an inviting wave. Meredith took in a deep breath and stepped inside.

"_MEREDITH_…finally!"

The Chief stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Meredith to make sure she was real.

"Hello Sir!"

"I've missed you!" Richard said while he held her at arm's length to take a good look at her.

"I've missed you too," Meredith said shyly.

"Where's that beautiful daughter of yours?" Richard asked while he stepped back behind his desk and Meredith sat down in front of him. Meredith smiled. "She's tired from the flight…I left her with George!"

Richard nodded. "Does Lexie know you were coming?"

Meredith shook her head. "Nope…I wanted to surprise her…but I heard she's in surgery." Richard nodded and his face turned serious. "She's an excellent resident Meredith…and she has a real feel for neurology. She's assisting Derek…as we speak!"

Meredith swallowed awkwardly at the sound of Derek's name but then she smiled. "I always knew, Lexie would do good. Is it OK if I wait in the locker room?"

Richard nodded and smiled friendly. "Sure, do you want me to take you there?"

Meredith giggled and rose from her chair. "It's OK Sir…I still know my way around here….it's not that long ago!"

Meredith circled around Richard's desk and softly kissed his cheek. "It's real good to see you Sir!" Richard touched his cheek and watched Meredith while she left his office. "Same here Meredith…same here!"

Meredith stood in front of the surgical board and read that Derek's surgery took place in OR 4. She bit her bottom lip, reminiscing about watching the surgery from the gallery but that would spoil Lexie's surprise, instead she turned and headed for the resident locker room.

Meredith stood in front of Lexie's locker and let her fingers glide over her and Laura's photo. The picture of the two of them was taped to Lexie's locker for everybody to see. Meredith smiled, Lexie had truly missed them.

"_**Meredith**_?"

She would have recognized _his_ voice everywhere. She slowly turned and smiled. "Hi, Derek."

Meredith's hair, once wispy with curls when she wore it down…and she had worn it down a lot, was now pulled up, showing off her fragile neck and shoulders. Derek stood nailed to the floor. Meredith was still slender but not under weight and her eyes, the color of emeralds, were still the same. She was wearing a classic blue jeans with a white shirt and high-heeled boots. Derek slowly shook his head while he stepped forward.

"I'm here to visit Lexie…I have the next two weeks off…," Meredith's voice trailed off as Derek pulled her close. Meredith felt blood rush into her cheeks and she lowered her eyes shy fully as Derek placed his fingers underneath her chin forcing her to look into his eyes…those deep blue eyes.

"It's good to see you…welcome back," Derek said softly. Meredith could smell mint on his breath and it was a bitter sweet smell that almost weakened her knees. Derek leaned in even closer and Meredith partially wanted to run at this point, but she was drawn to stay. She felt his lips lightly brush her cheek. Warm. Soft. Wet…and definitely familiar. Meredith pulled away while he kept staring into her eyes, which she lowered shyly. All she could hear was the synchronized breathing between the two of them and the beating of her heart in her chest…thump…thump…thump.

"**_NOOOO….MEREDITH…YOU'RE HERE…FINALLY!_**"


	2. Can We Still Be Friends?

**Chapter 2: Can We Still Be Friends?**

"Oh…I can't believe you're really here," Lexie exclaimed happily. Meredith wrapped an arm around her dazed sister and smiled. "…And we'll be staying for two WHOLE weeks," she smiled. "Yay," Lexie cheered while she danced through the locker room. "Wait…I'll change quickly and than we can pick up Laura…oh, I can't wait to see her!"

Meredith carefully peeked over her shoulder to see whether Derek was still there but the locker room was empty except for her and Lexie. She brought up her hand and cautiously touched her face. Her cheek still tingled softly where Derek's lips had been. Closing her eyes, she memorized the touch of Derek's lips on hers and the twinkle in his eyes after they'd made love. Meredith swallowed hard…it had been so long since anyone had touched her like that and she'd almost felt ashamed for wanting it so badly…and on top of it all…it had been Derek who stirred up those feelings inside her. _Was she still not over him_?

"Hey…where are you?" Lexie stood in front of Meredith and waved her hands in front of her face. "I've called you twice…where are you?"

"Uh…what?"

"He's still hot huh?" Lexie asked with a sheepish grin and Meredith could feel how her face blushed.

"Don't be silly," Meredith hurried to say. "Derek and I…we're…we're old friends. I'm sure he's found somebody by now. We both went on with our lives!"

"Oh no," Lexie shook her head. "Derek's still single…there hasn't been anyone else since you left with Laura."

Meredith frowned slightly, letting Lexie's words sink in but then Lexie grabbed her arm. "Come on…I wanna see Laura!"

*** * ***

Derek was leaning against the balustrade, overlooking the parking lot. The muscles in his jaw knotted while he clenched his fists around the metal bar. He lifted his head but closed his eyes. It had seemed unreal for a moment…seeing Meredith after all that time. God knew, he'd been silently pinning for her since the day she'd left but now she was back…back in Seattle. But why was she back…and more important; was she going to stay? Seeing her in that locker room, all of her smooth curves, fine lines…and soft angles…Derek shook his head, as if trying to erase the memory from his head. He was about to walk away, when he heard soft sobbing. A small girl had approached behind him, tears on her face. She was cute and blond, her face flushed with the rosy bloom of health but tears started to stream down her cheeks. Derek knelt down in front of her. "What's the matter sweetie?"

"I can't find my mommy," she sniffled, clearly on the verge of outright sobbing. Derek gently stroked her hair in an attempt to comfort the little girl. "Come with me?…We'll find your mommy!" There was a little hesitation on the girl's part but then she nodded. Derek smiled and bent forward to lift the child into his arms. She started chatting but before he'd crossed the long hallway, her little head had fallen forward on his shoulder and she slept. Derek carried her to the elevator and gently steadied her sleeping head with careful touch against his shoulder. At the nurses' station, Derek paused for a moment, looking down at the small face with freckles, dimpled cheeks and sleeping lids.

"LAURA? Laura…honey…where are you?" George yelled, running down the stairs. George's face brightened with relief when he noticed the little girl on Derek's arm.

"Oh…thank God! Meredith would have killed me," George exclaimed while he tried to catch his breath.

"Meredith?" Derek frowned when George stepped closer.

"Yeah…you're holding her daughter. She got away from me…accidentally," George hurried to say. "Shall I take her from you?" Derek shook his head. "No…it's OK George. We'd better not wake her."

"I want my mommy," Laura murmured sleepily, opening her eyes, half dreaming still.

"I'm taking you to your mommy," Derek said softly while the girl nestled her head against his shoulder. On the surgical floor, Derek spotted Meredith from afar and she hurried towards them when she noticed Laura in Derek's arms. "What's going on?"

"Nothing…everything's fine. I met her in the hallway. She was looking for you," Derek said while he gently lifted Laura and placed her in Meredith's arms. Laura wrapped her little arms around Meredith's neck and laid her head on Meredith's shoulder. Derek smiled tenderly. "You should take her home…she's exhausted!"

Meredith returned Derek's smile. "Yeah…maybe I should. It was a long flight." Meredith walked down the hallway and suddenly Derek felt a deep and sudden urge to say something.

"_Meredith_?"

"Yeah?"

"_Can I call you…sometimes_?" he said almost in a whisper.

Meredith smiled. "Sure!"

*** * ***

Laura was trying to brush her teeth in the bathroom but she only made a mess of the toothpaste in the bathroom sink. Meredith stood in the doorway, gazing at Laura, a tender smile on her face. After some moments, Laura looked over her shoulder and giggled at the sight of her mom. Meredith stepped forward and took a wet washcloth to wipe Laura's face then she held Laura's hand and helped her brush her teeth.

"Good girl!" Meredith smiled when they were done. She lifted Laura so she could spit in the sink and when she was done, they went to the bedroom. Meredith pulled the pajama top over Laura's head and listened to her chatter.

"Can I see auntie Lexie tomorrow?" she asked eagerly.

Meredith nodded. "Aunt Lexie will be here early in the morning…maybe we can do something nice!"

"Yay," she little girl cheered while her eyes sparkled.

"Ready to sleep?"

Laura nodded and Meredith tucked the covers under her chin. Laura tilted her head slightly and watched Meredith silently, eyes bright and observant. At last, just as Meredith was about to give Laura a goodnight kiss, she softly asked, "Why can't we stay in Seattle?…I like it here."

Meredith sighed unnoticeably and her face saddened a little bit as she brushed Laura's blond curls tenderly back with her hand. "Mommy has to work in Boston…," she admitted with a small shake of her head, her voice soft. "…and auntie Lexie works here in Seattle, Laura." The blue eyes that looked up at Meredith were almost reflections of her own feelings of homesickness and loneliness but after a long silence, Laura whispered. "I love you mommy!"

Tears glistened in Meredith's eyes as she leaned over and kissed Laura on the forehead. "I love you too, sweetie!" Then, with another tender smile, she stood and turned off the light, closing the door behind her as she left the bedroom. She leaned against the doorpost, the tears she held back before now, running freely down her face; the tears she'd held back for so long. Seeing Derek after all that time had touched her more than she would ever admit. Meredith walked slowly down the hall towards her own bedroom and pushed it open. The inside of the guest room was warm and cozy but the cheery walls and inviting warmth were no balm to Meredith's heart. Laura's words had managed to shatter her entire world. One simple question and the walls she'd built around her heart, had fallen. She would love nothing more than to move back to Seattle…be close to her friends and family but…Derek…what about him? Their break-up had forced her to move to Boston but today. He'd been so nice. So warm. So familiar. Meredith sighed and stared at the telephone on the nightstand.

*** * ***

"Hi," he said softly.

Meredith stared up at him, light from the porch gleaming over his dark hair. "Hi yourself." Her heart thumped being near him and although she wasn't that naïve second-year resident anymore, she suddenly felt nervous and vulnerable.

"I thought I asked to call you?" he said with a warm smile.

"Er…I…I don't…God, this is a mistake," Meredith stuttered while her cheeks blushed. Derek stared at her for a moment but then took a step forward. He grabbed Meredith's hand and smiled. "No," he said softly. "…Definitely not a mistake. I'm glad you called!"

A calm settled over Meredith and she sighed against the post, staring out into the street. "Good," she whispered. "Wanna have dinner with me?"

"I'd love too!"

*** * ***

Derek half pushed Meredith to her bedroom as they kissed, effectively rekindling the fire that had been lit earlier that evening. Still in a tangle of limbs, Derek pushed open Meredith's bedroom door and reluctantly whispered. "I hate letting you go." Meredith looked up at Derek, almost seducing him with the depth of emotion in her eyes, "Please stay," she begged softly. Derek clenched his jaw, "Meredith…I can't…we can't…," Meredith silenced him with a tender kiss. "Stay with me Derek…please…I really need you." That was all it took, for the fire Derek felt within, to flare up into an all consuming inferno. Scooping Meredith into his arms, he carried her inside and shut the door with his foot. Meredith drew Derek's head down to meet hers in a fierce kiss. Without breaking the kiss, Derek put her down on the bed, quickly joining her.

He continued kissing Meredith, moving from her lips, to her eyes, to her ears and neck. Murmuring soft words, he started unbuttoning her blouse, as Meredith worked on his shirt buttons. Tugging off her blouse, he started working on her jeans. He swiftly drew Meredith's jeans off her and his breath caught in his throat. Her creamy skin looked golden in the soft candle light. Meredith's perfectly shaped breasts were cupped in a delicate, white lace bra while her flat stomach and narrow waist curved into narrow hips encased in white, lace panties. "God, you're beautiful," he whispered while he divested himself off his jeans and climbed next to her. Slowly, Derek kissed Meredith's throat, her shoulders and then moving lower to the curve of her breasts. Gently he reached around her to remove her bra. His tongue laved over a nipple and Meredith let out a soft moan. Derek's careful ministrations to her breasts setting her on fire. She dug her hands into Derek's hair and held him to her. Moving back to her lips, Derek's hands roamed over Meredith's body, down her stomach to pull off her panties. Meredith wrapped her arms around Derek's neck. She was trembling but knew Derek would never hurt her. His hands slipped down to her womanhood and Meredith gasped for air. He continued kissing her as he softly touched her most intimate place. For a moment, he looked deep into her eyes but then he moved his attention lower. Placing his hands on Meredith's thighs, he slowly spread them apart and kissed her. Almost immediately, the pressure that had been building inside her, peaked and like a dam breaking, a powerful orgasm washed over her. She moaned softly as her body went limp. Within moments, Derek was kissing her again, rebuilding the fire he'd started. By now Meredith had regained her senses enough to feel his arousal pressing against her stomach. Without breaking eye contact with Derek, she slowly straddled him. She took in a deep breath and reached down to guide him into her. Her hands were a little shaky as she wrapped her fingers around him and Derek moaned softly, unable to resist her. Meredith felt how he touched her entrance, the tip of his manhood spreading her apart. Her heart was pounding, her breathing a little shallow as she slowly sank down on him. It felt wonderful, the way she enveloped him. Derek looked up to Meredith's face but her eyes were closed. Her face was of pure pleasure as he heard her whisper his name. "Mmm...Derek…!" Meredith placed her hands on Derek's shoulders, working herself into a slow rhythm. He wrapped his arms around Meredith's waist and slowly pulled her body closer. Meredith could hear the soft, suckling sounds Derek made as he took her nipple into his mouth. Meredith's breaths became quicker at the erotic sight and she moved her hips up and down, faster and faster. Soon enough her feminine juices started flowing, trickling down Derek's shaft. Her body was completely taking over and she wouldn't be able to stop even if she wanted to…but she wanted this more than anything…making love to **_him_**!

"Oh…yes…yes…oh Derek…," Meredith let out soft moans with every thrust, almost whimpering as she tried to hold on, hold on just a bit longer to savor every moment as she made love to the man she'd loved for so long. But it was too much, the intensity of being with Derek was so overwhelming and it had been so long since she'd been intimate with a man, she almost shattered into a million pieces. Derek's groans, his whispers, the way their hips moved together, the way he held her…it was causing her body to react. Meredith wanted it to last but the way, Derek pushed himself deeper inside her, the way her body reacted to him as he quickened the pace, she just couldn't help it. Before she could take one last look into his eyes as they made love, she lost her grip. Her hands held on to Derek's shoulders as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through her in an earth shattering orgasm. Derek's breathing became deeper and he buried his face in Meredith's chest as he ground his hips in and out of her. He managed to look up seconds before he came and she smiled tenderly down on him as he closed his eyes and exploded into her.

After several moments of holding each other, Meredith slowly lifted herself off him. She sat on the edge of the bed and closed her eyes while Derek lifted himself up enough to pull on his boxers. He then crawled over and sat beside Meredith, slowly stroking her hair. Meredith's eyes fluttered open and she looked up into Derek's beautiful blue eyes. Her mind was still a little clouded but soon enough, her mind cleared and she registered where she was…and most of all…_who_ she was with! Derek tilted Meredith's chin, who looked back up at him with a slight blush across her face. A few seconds past until Derek broke the silence with a whisper.

"_So_…," Derek seemed to be waiting for Meredith to say something in return.

"_So_…," Meredith couldn't think of anything else. Derek looked at the floor for a second and then looked up at Meredith again.

"What now?" Meredith whispered desperately. Derek briefly saw that unsecure intern that had rocked his world after he'd divorced Addison. He smiled and gently placed a hand on Meredith's arm, giving her a reassuring smile.

"I don't know either, Mere….but whatever happens…happens. We will work things out…!" Derek was comforted by the fact, Meredith was just as unsure of the future as he was but his smile soon faded as she mumbled, "You…you have to leave Derek…I…," Meredith trailed off into a whisper as she shook her head and Derek quickly remembered her daughter was in the house too. After he was dressed, he took a moment to compose himself and then turned around, giving Meredith a smile that told her he wasn't that uncomfortable with the situation they found themselves in. Meredith gave him a small smile, relieved that Derek also seemed to have no regrets. For a moment, they looked at each other, accepting they couldn't avoid the inevitable. They slowly walked towards the door of Meredith's bedroom. Derek was the one who reached the door first and he slowly pushed it open. He turned slightly to say goodnight when she suddenly threw herself at him. She flung her arms around his neck and virtually collapsed against him, sobbing and trembling like a little child. "I don't know who I was…before I saw you again," she said softly. For some reason, her words hit him hard. They seemed more meaningful than any words; she'd ever spoken to him.

"Shh…it's OK," he assured her as he held her close.

"I know…I just…I love you Derek…and I've missed you so much," she whispered as she tried to regain control. Derek softly kissed Meredith's forehead, then her cheek, then the tip of her nose and finally, her lips...


	3. It's Your Love

**Chapter Three**** It's Your Love**

Meredith woke up early the next morning. Her eyes blinked several times as she glanced around the room, quickly scanning it for any sign of Derek. When she found the room empty, she sighed with relief, pushing back the covers and slowly stretching. When she swung her legs over the side of the bed and put her feet down, she felt something soft beneath her feet…a t-shirt. She picked it up and lifted it to her face, breathing in deeply. Almost immediately, she recognized the scent of Derek's cologne. Meredith sat back down on the bed and for a moment, she let her mind drift back to the previous night. Making love to Derek had felt so good, she wanted to revel in the sensation just a minute longer but her pleasant daydream was rudely interrupted when the door to her bedroom flew open and a blond, little whirlwind rushed inside.

"Mommy…mommy…uncle Marc is making pancakes…come...you have to come, mommy!" Laura's little face was thrilled with enthusiasm.

"Good morning hon," Meredith smiled, hugging Laura before she stood and slid into her bathrobe. "You go ahead…I'll be right down, sweetie." Meredith hurried to the bathroom and splashed some water in her face. She shot into her clothes and opened the bedroom door. A sweet aroma wafted through the hallway and the lovely smell caused Meredith's mouth to water and her stomach to rumble. She entered the kitchen to find Lexie sitting beside Laura while Marc stood behind the stove.

"Morning," she smiled as she stepped inside and sat opposite Lexie and her daughter. The three people in the kitchen looked up and let out smiles of their own when they saw Meredith. "Morning to you too Meredith…you must be starving after all that hard "work" from last night," Marc said in a playful tone as he placed a pancake on Meredith's plate. Meredith blushed but Lexie placed a hand on her arm. "It's OK Mere…I know someone who got an appetite too…and I don't mean for food!" she added with a naughty smile. Now it was Marc's time to blush.

"Just teasing you sweet sister-in-law," Marc said playfully as he leaned closer to Meredith. He laid a quick kiss on her cheek and softly whispered. "It was about time you two found your way back together!" Meredith said nothing but smiled mysteriously, digging her fork into the pancake.

"What are your plans for today sis? Lexie asked as she scooted closer to Laura to watch her drawings. Meredith cleared her throat and glanced at Marc. "I thought I would show Laura my old house…I heard Alex and Izzie have plans of building their own house. I'm not quite sure if I should keep my mom's place or sell it?" Marc let out a small laugh and shook his head. "Maybe Derek wants to buy the place."

Meredith frowned. "Why?"

Marc walked over to the fridge and opened the door to grab some eggs. "Well…Derek has been living in the house too. After you left, he sold his land…including your dream house."

Before Meredith could say anything else, the phone rang in the living room. Lexie moved around the counter to retrieve the phone but Laura jumped up before she could get far enough. "I'll get it, aunt Lexie!" she yelled before running out of the kitchen to go pick up the phone. The three adults watched the little girl run out of the room with a huge smile. Being only four years old, she was probably the smartest kid ever.

"She's getting so big," Lexie smiled as she took over the spoon Marc held before her mouth with a large, red strawberry.

"I know. It feels like just like a day ago when she came into my life." Meredith nodded in agreement as she looked at Laura. It amazed her sometimes how much Laura meant to her. She'd never been selfish but if you would have asked her during her internship what she would be doing in four years, her answer would have been: becoming an excellent surgeon. And if you would have told her she would be a mom with a four-year old daughter, she would have probably laughed. But now Laura was her everything and she wouldn't change anything about her life…well maybe one thing…she would have never left Derek!

"Mommy! It's for you!" Laura yelled as she came running into the kitchen with the cordless phone in her hand. Meredith looked at Lexie confused for a moment before taking the phone from Laura's hand. Lexie rolled her eyes and smiled at Marc before glancing over at Meredith.

…**.**

"Hey…how are you?" Meredith asked gently.

…**.**

"That's OK. I was planning to show Laura my mom's house anyway so I'll see you later, OK?" Meredith said softly as she rested her hand on top of Laura's head and let out a small smile.

"Who was that mommy?" Laura asked after Meredith had ended the call.

Meredith knelt down so she was eye level with her daughter. "That…," she said softly "…was Derek, you know the doctor who brought you back to mommy yesterday? He's a real good friend of mommy's and he lives in your grandmother's house!"

"Are we going to the house?" Laura asked excitedly. "The house with the swing?"

Meredith smiled and kissed Laura's forehead than she patted her little behind. "Yeah…the house with the swing…now let's get you dressed so we can go!"

*** * ***

The summer heat wrapped around Meredith like a warm blanket when she stepped outside. She lifted Laura into the car and strapped her in her car seat. "Ready to go?" she smiled to the little girl. Laura nodded and Meredith got behind the steering wheel. She clicked on the air conditioner and pulled slowly away from Marc and Lexie's driveway, making sure she had clear view. As she drove south, she felt how her heart began to beat faster. The closer she came to her mom's house, the more excited she got. Without noticing, she pushed on the accelerator, picking up speed, almost running a stop sign. When the house came into view, she relaxed and smiled. She pulled up the driveway and sat there for a minute, watching her mom's house. The morning sun made its way over the garden and onto her old porch…the porch with the wooden, rocking bench. Meredith opened her car door, letting in the smell of roses. She took in a deep breath and hurried to unstrap Laura from her car seat.

"The swing! Quick mommy…I want to swing!" Laura wormed her way out of the car seat and ran up the porch. Almost at the same time, the front door of the house swung open and Izzie stormed outside. "Meredith…finally!"

"Hey Iz," Meredith smiled while Izzie wrapped her arms around her. When Izzie let go of Meredith she got onto her knees in front of Laura. "Hi Laura…I can't believe how you've grown!"

"Yes…I'm almost this tall!" Laura stretched out her hand above her head. Izzie laughed and rose to her feet. "You want to swing?"

"Yes…can I?"

"Sure." Izzie lifted Laura and together they sat down on the wooden bench. "Isn't Alex around?" Meredith asked while she glanced through the windows.

"No…he had to work…but Derek's here. He's up in his room…_your_ old bedroom!" Izzie smiled while she shielded her eyes from the sun.

"Look mommy…I'm swinging," Laura breathed excitedly while she lifted her arms into the air.

"Yeah…I can see. Is it OK if mommy takes a look inside while you stay here with aunt Izzie?" Laura nodded firmly and Meredith gave a nod towards Izzie to make sure she was alright with the arrangement. "Go ahead Mere…I'll watch her." Izzie said with a warm smile while she pulled Laura onto her lap.

"Wheew…Laura squealed while Izzie swung the rocking bench even faster. Meredith smiled but then turned to enter her old house. The living room was much lighter and the furniture had been rearranged in a modern fashion with more space between items. The fireplace looked really good in its original stone colour and some of her mom's old paintings had been replaced with modern ones. Meredith closed her eyes and listened. The house was quiet except for the dishwasher that was running smoothly in the kitchen. When she opened her eyes again, she turned and slowly went upstairs. The door at the end of the hallway on the left was her old bedroom. Fiddling nervously with her hands, she bit her bottom lip, hesitating if she should go there. Summoning all her courage, she softly knocked on the bedroom door. "_Derek_?" She whispered softly.

There was no answer so Meredith took in a deep breath and slowly pushed the bedroom door open.

The room was dark but she could make out the shapes of things. She could see the pillows on the bed, the paintings above the bed and the patted headboard. Derek was in bed, sleeping flat on his back. His breath softly surfed over the ripples of the dark sheets that lay on him. Meredith tiptoed to the bed and leaned slightly closer to get a better look at him. He was as handsome as ever, from his strong jaw to his perfect hair. The day's stubble on his cheeks only enhanced his good looks. Meredith smiled but jumped back with a startled squeak when Derek's hand suddenly shot out, wrapping around her wrist. "What are you doing in my bedroom, Iz?" he growled, blinking his eyes, looking up.

"_Meredith_?" Derek quickly released her wrist when he recognised her in the dim light.

"I'm so sorry Derek…I didn't mean to wake you," she stammered. "I'm only here to visit my old house…I heard Izzie and Alex are planning to move out so I wanted to see it for myself. I'm thinking of selling…" Derek smiled. Meredith hadn't changed a bit. She still started rambling when she was nervous.

"It's OK Mere," he said softly. "I don't mind you coming in here…it is _your_ old bedroom!" Meredith nodded and wrapped her arms across her chest to bolster her courage. "What time is it?" Derek asked while he sat up and ran a hand through his sleep-tousled hair. Meredith wasn't wearing a watch and stepped closer to the bed to view the alarm. Unfortunately her foot got caught in a heap of clothes next to the bed and she stumbled forward, landing on top of Derek. He couldn't suppress a grin when he caught Meredith, wrapping his arms around her.

"Are you OK?" he asked softly, his warm breath tickling her neck.

"Mmm," Meredith nodded, trying to get away from Derek's tight embrace. At first she was caught off guard but now she was highly aware of his body spooning hers. The bells going off in her head got even louder when she realised he wasn't wearing any clothes. Before she realised what happened, Derek rolled on top of her and started passionately kissing her. In the back of her mind, Meredith heard warning bells sounding louder however their kissing totally overrode any concerns she had and she closed her eyes. Derek placed tender kisses softly against her lips as he held her close. Meredith moaned lightly into the kiss, her tongue slowly dancing with Derek's. His tongue slid gently over hers, circling it slowly, his fingers stroking back through her hair. Meredith became lost in the moment and began to slide her hands up his bare back as Derek deepened the kiss even more and the rest of the world disappeared. Meredith trembled as Derek cupped her cheek softly in his hand, rolling his tongue over hers. She pressed her body against Derek's, her breasts against his chest, her hands softly caressing his back. A few minutes later, Meredith expected Derek to let them catch their breath, but he didn't. In fact, he didn't seem to show any signs of wanting to stop or even slow down. He was definitely showing signs of wanting, from the quick breathing, the restless hands on her body and…the hard proof of his excitement against her lower body. Meredith started to struggle to think straight and not just be overwhelmed by the incredible feelings of wanting him. _We have to stop, she thought to herself. Laura is downstairs…I can't do this…we can't do this. _After a few more minutes, Meredith realised it was going to be up to her to put a halt to their actions, especially when Derek's hands had begun to wander under her top. A gentle nudge to his shoulder seemed to have no effect though so Meredith placed her hands against Derek's chest pushing him away. Derek pulled away and stared down on Meredith with glazed eyes, breathing heavily. He rested his head on her shoulder and desperately attempted to catch his breath.

"God, Mere…," he finally breathed.

"Er…Derek, we can't...Laura's downstairs with Iz…we," Meredith slowly shook her head.

Derek took in a deep breath as he rolled off Meredith onto his back. He sighed heavily. "I'm sorry Mere…I guess I got carried away…it's just…you smell so good and I've missed you so much!" Meredith smiled and for a moment she rested her head on his chest. "Well, at least one of us is in control," she said softly…"and I've missed you too!"

Derek stared at Meredith, then threaded his hand through her hair and pulled her to him for a soft, tender kiss. When he withdrew, he caressed her cheek and sat up. "You'd better leave now …I'm in need of a shower…a cold one," he added with a grin.

Meredith giggled and rose from the bed. "OK…I'm leaving," she said firmly. With one last glance back, she quietly opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. Derek stared at the closed door for a while and then finally flopped back on the bed, staring at the ceiling as he replayed everything that had happened between them. He smiled to himself as he realised she had missed him just as much as he'd missed her. And that was, he realised, a damned, good feeling.

*** * ***

Half an hour later, Derek rushed down the stairs, his hair still damp. He was tucking in his shirt when he entered the porch. "Hey ladies," he said with a smile. Laura tilted her head to the side and watched Derek intently. "You brought me back to my mommy," she said wisely. Derek sat down next to Laura on the rocking bench and extended his hand. "That's right Laura. My name is Derek…I'm a friend of mommy's,"

Laura placed her little hand in Derek's and giggled. "My name is Laura Grey…and I'm pleased to meet y'a!" Derek grinned and tilted Laura onto his lap. "You're a smart, little girl…how about if I built you a real swing…over at that big tree?" Derek pointed at a large oak tree in the back of the garden. Laura's eyes grew big. "Can you?"

"Sure I can…come with me?" Derek lifted Laura onto his hip and together they walked to his Jeep. They came back with a large tyre and some rope. Meredith smiled and watched them as Derek got onto his knees, explaining everything to Laura he was doing.

Izzie leaned back in her chair and glanced at Meredith. "You're still in love with him huh?" Meredith averted her eyes and stared at the wooden porch. She swallowed hard and then nodded. "Yes," she simply answered.

Izzie smiled and placed her hand on Meredith's. "It's OK Mere…I know a lot has happened in your life but you're doing a wonderful job with that little girl!" Meredith quickly wiped away a single tear from her cheek and took in a deep breath. "She means the world to me," she admitted softly.

"I know," Izzie said softly. "If only…"

"If only…what?" Meredith repeated while she looked up. Somehow she had a feeling Izzie was not telling everything.

Izzie rolled her eyes and sighed. "Oh…what the heck. You're gonna find out anyway. I'm pregnant…that's why Alex and I are searching a house…a bigger one…to be exact!" Meredith let out a squeal of excitement that made Derek and Laura look up. Izzie and Meredith were both laughing and crying and they rose to hug each other. Laura shrugged her shoulders and then focused her attention back to the swing. "Silly girls!" she mumbled. Derek had to suppress a grin and he continued tying the rope to the tyre. When the swing was finished he climbed the oak tree and attached it to a big branch.

* * *

Meredith sat on the porch, watching Derek while he pushed Laura on the self-made swing. The sun started to set and the long shadow of the oak tree fell upon the house and the broad grassy yard. Meredith nodded unnoticeably and rose. It was time for dinner. "Laura…are you coming sweetie. It's time to go home!"

Laura pouted a little but when Derek whispered something into her ear, a broad smile curled her lips. She let Derek take her off the swing and together they walked back to the house. Meredith leaned down and hugged Laura. "I guess you had a great time huh?" Laura nodded, enjoying her mom's hug. When Meredith let go, she frowned. "Can I swing tomorrow?"

Meredith smiled and hugged her again. "You certainly can," she agreed. "But now it's time to eat!"

Almost at the same time, Izzie appeared in the doorway. "I've ordered pizza…wanna join us?"

"Yah," Laura threw her arms around Izzie and gave her a massive hug. "Can we mommy…pleeaase…!"

"With Pepperoni?" Meredith asked.

"Sure!" Izzie nodded.

"I guess than its OK," Meredith smiled.

Half an hour later, they all sat around the dinner table, devouring large pepperoni pizzas. By the time, they had put it away, Laura had devoured three slices, licking her fingers and asking for more.

"Are you still hungry?" Meredith asked wide-eyed, not used to Laura eating that much. The little girl nodded and licked her greasy lips.

Derek placed a hand on Laura's arm and grinned. "How about strawberry milkshakes for dessert?"

Laura nodded excitedly and watched as Derek went to the fridge. Moments later, he returned with a batch of strawberries, ice-cream and whipped cream. Meredith tenderly watched Laura and Derek slice and crush the ingredients and she leaned back in her chair, thinking it had been an unexpectedly, perfect day. When she looked up, her eyes met Derek's. They looked at each other at the same time. Meredith felt the electricity in his gaze and she knew, he could feel it too. It was good to be back in Seattle!


	4. Straight From The Heart

**Chapter Four**

Meredith slid two return tickets to Boston out of her jacket pocket and unnoticeably sighed. Almost two weeks had flown by and now the dreaded, last days of her and Laura's vacation had arrived. Aside from seeing Derek almost every day and spending quality time with her family and friends, Meredith had also made the important decision to keep her mom's house. Derek had offered to rent it for the time being and Meredith had gladly accepted. Meredith's and Laura's flight was scheduled to leave Tacoma International Airport at 8.30 pm the next day because Meredith had supposed it would be easier to travel at night because Laura would sleep during most of the flight. Now, she was packing their suitcases, one medium sized suitcase for herself and one little one for Laura. Meredith's bottom lip quivered and she bit down on it to stop it. She was gradually preparing herself for the amount of pain that was about to tear through her body when she had to leave her beloved Seattle…and _Derek_. Meredith's train of thought was suddenly interrupted as she heard a soft knock on the door. She looked up and found Derek standing in the doorway. "Can I come in?" he asked softly.

Meredith slowly nodded, avoiding Derek's eyes and continuing packing her suitcase. Derek crossed the bedroom until he stood behind Meredith. "Mere…can we talk?"

"I have to finish packing," Meredith said softly, hating how quivery her voice came out. Derek gently put his hands on Meredith's and forced her to look up at him. He tucked her hand in his and pulled her to the bed. "Please…sit down," he whispered. Meredith sank down beside him, careful to keep a safe distance from him. One touch from Derek and she was likely to break down. "This must be difficult for you." Derek said softly, tucking a loose strand behind her ear. Meredith nodded. She swallowed back what she wanted to say…to scream namely that she didn't want to leave. Holding back her emotions was natural for her since she'd moved to Boston but something inside, told her to be honest with Derek.

"_I don't want to leave you…I…I…_" Meredith looked away as she almost choked on the words. Derek didn't prompt her to continue, he merely waited.

"I love you…I've never stopped loving you," Meredith began again, trying to formulate her thoughts. Derek smiled tenderly and reached over, curling his strong fingers over Meredith's palm. He picked up her hand then turned it over until her palm faced up. Bending his head, he pressed his lips to her soft skin. For some reason, her opening up to him, hit him more than her declaration of love. "What do you want?" he asked softly.

"I want to stay here…with _you_," Meredith blurted out, allowing her feelings to pour out of her soul. Tears stung her eyelids and she looked away. Derek scooted forward and pulled Meredith against his chest. He tilted her chin until she met his gaze. Meredith started sobbing. Bending his head, Derek kissed her eyes. "Shhh…don't cry," he pleaded. He tenderly kissed Meredith's lips and she sighed into his mouth. When he withdrew, he held his gaze with hers. Taking in a deep breath, Derek cupped Meredith's face in his hands. His eyes searched her face. "Are you sure?" Meredith took in a ragged breath and realised his hands were shaking. Derek wanted her so much, he was shaking with it. A deep sense of honesty had her finally admitting. "**I love you Derek and I want to spend the rest of my life with you and Laura**!"

"**I love you too**," Derek wrapped his arms around Meredith in a tight hug. He felt her press her face in his chest and smiled.

"Derek…please promise you won't ever let me go again," she whispered softly.

"I promise," he whispered back, hugging her even tighter.

* * *

Meredith stood in the gallery as she watched Derek make his first cut with a ten blade scalpel. Tonight was supposed to be their last night together (Lexie and Marc had offered to babysit) but instead of going out on their last night, Derek had been called in for an emergency surgery. The surgery was half way when the heart monitor started to beep but Derek fixed whatever was wrong in a few minutes. He glanced up at the gallery and Meredith caught his gaze. He winked at her and Meredith smiled back. When the surgery was over, nurses wheeled the patient back to the recovery room while Derek gestured Meredith to come down. He was scrubbing his hands when she entered. "Hey," she said softly.

"Hey," he smiled as he dried his hands, leaning against the sink. "So…where do you wanna go?" Meredith looked at Derek and smiled shyly, shrugging her shoulders. "Dunno." Derek slightly tilted his head and walked over to Meredith. He stood against her back, lightly resting his chin on her shoulder. "Do you wanna go out?" Meredith closed her eyes, feeling peaceful with Derek's arms around her waist. She carefully contemplated her next words. "I want to spend this night…alone, with you!" Meredith's voice was soft but carried a hopeful edge.

"You must have read my mind!" Derek sighed softly, gently laying his hands on Meredith's shoulders, turning her towards him. He pressed a gently kiss against Meredith's forehead before holding out his hand. "Ready to go?"

* * *

They didn't speak much as Derek drove them through the quiet Seattle streets but Meredith could feel Derek with every inch of her being. She glanced outside and frowned when her surroundings came into focus. "My house?" Derek pulled in the driveway and Meredith looked up at the dark house. Derek turned off the ignition, unfastened his seatbelt and then settled back in his seat. "Iz thought it would be nice if we could spend our last evening in our…maybe future home!" Derek said softly, studying Meredith's face. Though there was a lump in Meredith's throat, she swallowed and smiled. "I always thought Iz had excellent ideas!"

Derek got out of the car and dashed to Meredith's side. With a grin, he offered his arm and she accepted with a smile. They walked to the front door and Derek unlocked it. When they stepped inside, Meredith turned but before she could say a word, Derek gently pushed her against the wall. She gasped at his sudden action. His lips claimed hers in a searing kiss. He released her lips and looked in her eyes while his hands slipped into her loose hair. "You're so beautiful," he whispered. Meredith went quiet and Derek kissed her again. She silently took his hand and let him upstairs into her old bedroom. Derek closed the door behind them and lit some candles. He turned to watch Meredith. The candlelight threw an orange glow to her face and their eyes locked as she stepped closer to him. Derek gazed at her tenderly, his hand gently cupping her face. Electricity started to mount between them, crackling like a tangible thing and they both felt the magic between them. Meredith slowly pulled Derek's shirt free of his waistband, dragging her fingers lightly up his bare chest. There was a catch in Derek's throat as a searing sensation bolted through his body. He caught Meredith's hand but her eyes captured his almost hypnotically.

"I want you to make love to me," she whispered softly, looking shyly at him through her lashes. Mutely, Derek nodded and Meredith sighed as she felt his arms wrap around her. She put her arms around him, and in that moment she gave into the grief she'd been feeling all day. Tears poured freely down Meredith's cheeks as she buried her face in Derek's chest and for a timeless moment he held on to her…the love of his life.

"It'll be OK, Mere," she heard him whisper into her ear. "I'm here for you…I'll always be here for you!"

"I don't want to leave you," she sobbed while she clung on to him for dear life.

"It's only temporary…we'll be together soon. You, me and Laura," Derek whispered while stroking Meredith's soft hair, trying to swallow the sudden lump in his throat.

Meredith didn't say anything but instead cupped Derek's face in her hands, leaning forward to kiss him softly on his lips. Derek sighed against her mouth and felt his heart fill with emotion. With a strangled moan his mouth crushed hers and his hands felt her warm, smooth skin. He wanted to touch Meredith, taste her, hear her cry out his name and tremble in his arms. He'd never needed anything else than this…with her! There was a rustle of clothes and then they were both naked. Skin met skin and Derek's gaze flew to Meredith's. She smiled and turned, pressing a knee to the bed. Derek's throat closed, blood rushing from his head. He crawled onto the mattress, and pulled Meredith down. He dragged her between his spread thighs, trapping her, kissing her deeply, trailing his mouth down her throat and bending her back to taste her breasts. Again and again, he nibbled and licked, his hand smoothing down her hip.

Meredith moaned softly. She smoothed the hard contours of Derek's chest and her mouth eagerly followed, her tongue licking his flat nipples. Derek's fingers dug into her hips, his groan like a tiger. The heat of him pressed to Meredith's belly and she closed her fingers around him. In a flash, Derek captured her wrist. He met her gaze, his eyes dark with desire.

"I can't take much more of this." He swallowed hard.

"I want to see you," Meredith said and her fingertips slid heavily of his silken tip. Derek slammed his eyes shut and his breath trembled. Meredith tasted him, sliding her tongue over his lips, then dipping inside. Derek cracked, devouring Meredith's mouth and dragging her onto his lap. As much as he was enjoying her touch, he couldn't take much more. He needed to make love to her. He leaned forward, pushing Mere onto her back, her hair spilling across the pillows. She tenderly smiled up at him, and spread her legs. Braced above Meredith, Derek trembled as the tip of him pressed down into her softness. She was hot and wet, squirming beneath him. He entered her with slowness, smiling when she began begging for more. He pushed deeply, filling her and she wrapped her legs around his hips. Braced on his elbows, Derek stared down at Meredith, smoothing her hair back and dropping a kiss on her forehead.

"God…you're beautiful," he whispered softly.

Meredith's eyes misted with tears. "Derek…"

"My heart's in this, Mere!"

"Mine too!"

Derek withdrew and plunged deep, Meredith's body closing tightly over his, capturing him. Her feminine muscles flexed and clawed, and their tempo increased, a pumping rhythm that fused them with every stroke.

Meredith thought she'd break apart; her heart was pounding like mad. She felt the connection to Derek grow and fuse, her body capturing him and taking him deeper into her. Flesh met flesh and they danced in a quick rhythm. Eyes locked on each other, tingling heat spiralling through her like a tornado.

Then it came, the exhilaration Derek could only give her. The passion she'd waited to feel. His arousal throbbed inside her.

"Derek…Oh God…"

"I know Mere…I know," Derek whispered hoarsely, his gaze locked with Meredith's as his climax roared up his spine. He threw his head back, shuddering, his body flexing against Meredith's. She gripped his hips, pulling him harder to her, the pulse and throb thrashing them over and over until they never thought it would stop.

Derek swallowed hard…their lovemaking had shattered him to the core. Tears filled Meredith's eyes again, the power of their loving leaving her weak and breathless.

Derek peppered Meredith's face and hair with kisses before his mouth tenderly settled over hers. He thought his heart might explode. Meredith gazed into his soft, blue eyes and smiled. She loved this man. If she'd doubted her heart before, she didn't now. Before they drifted off into a relaxing sleep, Derek lost all thought, except one…_Meredith Grey_. And that it would take an entire lifetime to have enough of her.


	5. Sowing The Seeds Of Love

**_Chapter Five Sowing The Seeds Of Love_**

Meredith was lying sideways in one of Boston's on call rooms, with her face half-buried in a pillow when she suddenly felt the vibrations of her cell phone in her scrub pants. "_Hello_?"

"Hey," Derek's voice travelled through her phone. "How is my favourite resident doing?"

"Missing you like crazy…," Meredith paused briefly. "I'm counting the days…but I still can't believe the Chief held me to two month's notice!"

Meredith could picture Derek's grin on the other end and her spirits lifted when she heard him say: "Only one month more to go Mere…and then we'll be together…_you, me and Laura_!"

Meredith smiled and swung her legs over the side of the bottom bed but a sudden wave of dizziness washed over her and she softly moaned.

"_Mere_…? Are you alright?" From afar, Meredith heard Derek's worried voice. She giggled at his concern. "I'm fine…I just got up too fast. You know how it is…long days, exhausting surgeries…and a precocious four-year-old at home!"

"Yeah," Meredith could hear Derek's sigh on the other end of the line and she knew he wanted nothing more than to be with her and Laura. Meredith closed her eyes for a moment and rested her head against the wall. There was a long silence and they both knew they were thinking about each other. Then Meredith heard Derek's voice. "I'll talk to you tomorrow…sweet dreams Mere…and give Laura a kiss from me, OK?"

"I will," Meredith murmured. "Love you!"

"Love you too!"

*** * ***

The next few days were really intense at Boston's Medical Centre and Meredith was physically exhausted. When she and Laura got at the apartment, she sank down into her olive green couch and briefly closed her eyes.

"Are you tired, mommy?" Laura whispered while she gently stroked Meredith's hair.

"Only a little," Meredith said softly while she sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"Me too," Laura yawned as she leaned her little, curly head on Meredith's shoulder.

Meredith smiled and knelt down before Laura to give her a hug. The little girl wrapped her arms around Meredith's neck and gave her a big, sloppy kiss on the cheek. She then sweetly whispered in Meredith's ear…"I love you mommy!"

"I love you too, sweetie," Meredith smiled while she carried Laura to her bedroom. After Meredith had put Laura to bed, she returned to the living room when her eyes fell on an envelope, lying face down in the hallway. She stooped to pick it up, thinking it was some kind of bill. But when she opened the letter, everything vanished except the little piece of white paper in her hand. She read it twice before she could fully grasp the terrific weight of meaning that it bore to her. She staggered as though she'd received a mortal blow and with a sinking heart, she read the lines in which Eric's parents (Molly's husband), accused her of being an unfit mother to their granddaughter. Meredith's hand shook so hard that the letter dropped to the floor. A desperate moan sobbed through her lips as she hurried to her bedroom and threw herself across the bed, burying her face deep among the pillows. Meredith needed no interpreter to unfold the true meaning of the letter. Its words had told her too well of Laura's grandparent's intentions: they wanted their granddaughter. In desperation, Meredith closed her eyes and tried to imagine it all away…this couldn't be happening. Meredith cried until she had no more tears left. Then with her eyes red and watery, she got up and went to Laura's bedroom. Gazing lovingly at the little girl, she caressed her little hand. A single tear trickled down Meredith's cheek as she vowed no one would ever take Laura away from her.

Could they take the child away from her? This hateful question popped up in Meredith's mind over and over again as she lay awake on her bed, tossing and turning feverishly.

She glanced across the room, when her stomach suddenly grew tight and a wave of nausea brushed through her. "Oh, God," she thought as she roughly bit down on her bottom lip and fought a sudden urge to vomit. Meredith rushed to the bathroom before her stomach emptied itself on the carpet. Inside the bathroom, she stood shakily with wobbly knees. She clutched the ceramic sink until her knuckles turned white when another wave of nausea hit her and she emptied the contents of her stomach into the sink.

*** * ***

The next morning, Meredith rolled from sleeping on her left side to her right. She'd slept uneasily, one arm holding her stomach, the other under her pillow. The wrinkles in her pillow had made creases in her face, which, even in her sleep, was tense. She slowly pulled into a foetal position, drawing her legs up to her abdomen, holding her stomach, now with both hands. She opened her eyes and moaned softly, stretching onto her back and grimacing with discomfort. Finally, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and quietly sat up. Slowly she rose and walked to Laura's bedroom. She watched the little girl, still sleeping soundly in her pink pyjamas. Slowly, so the door wouldn't creak, Meredith closed the door and slipped into the hallway. Her bare feet padded softly on the cold tiles as she walked to the bathroom. She opened the door to the bathroom and went to the toilet. When she stood and pulled up her panties, she felt disorientated and had to lean on the sink. She looked in the mirror and grimaced. Her hair was a mess, falling in tangles about her shoulders. Meredith washed her hands and splashed some cold water into her face. Suddenly a wave of nausea hit her again and she turned to the toilet, dropping to her knees and throwing up violently, emptying her abdomen in wrenching spasms. When Meredith arose, she walked back to the bedroom to get dressed when a sudden, horrific thought crossed her mind. She gasped for air but was unable to fill her lungs with oxygen; _Could she be pregnant_?

*** * ***

Luckily for Meredith her day was filled with emergency surgeries and she had absolutely no time to think about pregnancies, babies and grandparents who threatened to take away her daughter.

"The rescue team is bringing in a boy who slipped on a school adventure trip. It was a very tricky rescue since he was wedged in a steep gully. Too badly injured to move and the weather was too bad for the chopper to winch him out." Sara Kim; Meredith's favourite intern checked the notes she'd made when the call came through, "Nasty compound fracture of the tibial shaft.

"Oh…poor thing," Meredith immediately felt a stab of sympathy for the young boy. "So how did they get him out?"

"One of the guys of the rescue team abseiled down into the cave; sat in the freezing cold with the boy for hours and finally figured out a way to achieve the impossible," Sara said dryly. "A heroic rescue by all means and ETA in about ten minutes!"

Meredith smiled, "OK…let's get ready then." Sara nodded and glanced at Meredith, "Maybe we should go out tonight Doctor Grey; I have a feeling something's bothering you. Pizza? A movie maybe?"

"Maybe!" Meredith avoided Sara's gaze, "I'm a bit tired so maybe I wanna turn in early. Laura is also exhausting at the moment so I don't know if I have the time."

Sara glanced at Meredith intently but before she could ask more questions, the doors to the ER swung open and a gurney was rolled inside. The man guiding the stretcher into the ER was tall and powerfully built, his outdoor clothing adding bulk to his muscular shoulders, "Alright, Sam." The guys voice was calm and confident as he spoke to the boy, "Whe're at the hospital and they have all the right equipment to make you a bit more comfortable!" The rescue worker turned to the two, female doctors who were flanking him, "I put in a line at the scene but I want you to get another in straight away. He's had morphine and his leg is splinted. I need another bag of fluid and…"

"It's OK…we've got it!" Meredith gently removed the blanket covering the boy and started examining him thoroughly; her skilled hands looking for injuries the rescue worker hadn't already indentified.

"How's the pain, Sam?" Meredith friendly inquired.

"It's OK." But the boy's face was pale and Meredith glanced towards her intern, "Is that line in yet?"

"Just about to do that now," Sara hurried to say.

"I'm feeling sick," Sam murmured.

"Just breathe for me Sam," Meredith said softly. "I'm going to attach these wires to you so that we can monitor your pulse and blood pressure without having to disturb you. OK?"

The boy looked at her gratefully, "You probably think I'm a baby."

"Babies don't climb mountains," Meredith smiled while she wrapped the blood pressure cuff around Sam's arm.

Sam closed his eyes, "My mom's going to kill me."

"She'll just be glad you're alright." Meredith looked at the monitor, noticing the rapid pulse rate and the low blood pressure. She looked at Sara Kim and she inclined her head briefly, but said nothing to worry the boy.

"I'm going to give you something for the pain and sickness in a moment, Sam, "Meredith said gently, checking the boy's abdomen. "Sara…I want to do a fast scan. There might be some bleeding in here."

Sara reached for the machine, still talking to the boy, "I can't believe you've climbed that mountain," she said while reaching for the drugs Meredith was going to administer.

"It's a tricky mountain, you know? Steep!" Meredith talked as she worked, keeping the boy's attention.

"It was snowy and I went too close to the edge," Sam said softly. He managed a smile and then groaned as a spasm of pain went through his body. The groan turned to a sob and he looked at Meredith, terrified, "Am I going to die? I feel sick. And dizzy; like everything is far away."

"You're not going to die," Meredith spoke firmly, her hand on the boy's shoulder, "If patients die, I get fired. And I don't wanna be fired. OK!"

The sound the boy made was halfway between laughter and a sob, "OK Doc."

"Morphine and cyclizine," Meredith said. Sara handed her the syringe and Meredith checked the drug before administering it.

"Alright Sam, this is what we're going to do. I've just given you another dose of medicine for the pain and sickness because I can see that's starting to bother you again. And now Doctor Kim here is going to put another needle in your vein."

Sam's eyes closed, "I still feel sick."

"That will pass in a minute," Meredith said, her gaze flickering to the monitor that displayed Sam's pulse and blood pressure. "I'm right here Sam. Don't you worry? Everything is going to be fine!"

*** * ***

After the operation, Meredith walked to the nearest on call room, sinking down on the bottom bunk. She briefly closed her eyes, thankful for the knowledge that Sam would pull through then she sat up slowly retrieving a pregnancy test kit from her bag; _moment of truth_!

**…**

Meredith glanced at her watch again. Thirty seconds had passed. The next minutes could very well change her life forever. She walked to the sink, staring at the plastic stick from the test kit, her heart racing like crazy. Only one minute had passed and…no line. Meredith laid the plastic stick back with trembling hands and sat down on the bed again. The sound of her cell phone suddenly startled her. _Derek_. She hadn't returned either of his calls since she'd found Eric parents' letter. Meredith put her hands over her ears and counted the rings. Mixed emotions surged through her until….

"Hi!"

"Mere…I was getting worried. Didn't you get my messages?"

"I'm sorry. I should've returned your calls but I haven't had a free moment since…well forever." Meredith turned, leaning her back against the pillows and clenching her jaw.

Meredith could hear the concern in Derek's voice and her stomach knotted. Her grip tightened on her cell and she glanced at her watch. One minute and fifteen seconds…

"Derek… I have to go. I'll call you tonight OK?"

Meredith threw her cell on the bed and turned. As she reached for the plastic stick, her hand was trembling. She felt as if she was observing her life from some distant place.

_**Two lines…**_

_One line in the control window and one in the result window_...

_She was definitely pregnant! With Derek's baby!_


	6. Don't Take The Girl

**_Chapter 6 Don't Take The Girl_**

"Mommy? Mommy?" Meredith rolled over in bed, yawning. Her eyes were still closed but she could feel how Laura climbed into the bed next to her. "Mommy…are you awake?" Laura whispered softly.

"Now I am," Meredith sighed. "But why are _you_ awake? It's still early. The sun is still sleeping too! See?" Meredith said softly, pointing to the window. Laura sighed and glanced wearily at the window. "I can't sleep…can I stay with you?"

"Sure!" Meredith smiled, lifting the covers. The small four-year-old snuggled to Meredith's chest and closed her eyes. Meredith wrapped her arms around Laura's small body and frowned when she could smell the aroma of fresh coffee from the kitchen. Moments later, Derek walked into the bedroom, carrying a tray with a large coffee mug and toast. Derek set the tray on the nightstand and leaned over to give Meredith a good morning kiss.

"W…what are you doing here?"

"I've come to take care of you and Laura. You can't do it all by yourself Meredith. I'm here for _you_!" Derek assured her. Meredith gazed into Derek's eyes as Laura swung her arms happily around Derek's neck.

_**Beep…beep…beep…beep…beep...**_

Meredith groaned and hit the alarm button with a loud thud. She sat up, trying to awake from her oh-so-vivid dream. She pulled her knees up to her chest and glanced around the room, swallowing hard to keep her tears under control. She still hadn't dared to tell _Derek _about the pregnancy. Meredith bit her bottom lip. She fully intended to tell him about the baby…she would never keep that information from him…but first, she needed to get used to the idea herself.

*** * ***

Meredith was walking down the hallway, lost in thought when a man bumped into her. She quickly turned to apologize but he handed her a large, brown envelope. Meredith frowned but the man smiled. "You've been served doc. Have a nice day!" Meredith stared at the envelope with wide eyes. She felt as if all the air had been knocked from her lungs. She clutched the envelope and hurried to one of the empty on call rooms. Holding her breath, she tore open the envelope. Inside was an official letter that acknowledged her fears. Laura's grandparents wanted their granddaughter; they'd reported Meredith to Child Protective Services on the grounds of being an unfit mother. Meredith closed her fist and crumpled the letter. She threw it across the on call room and burst into loud sobs burying her face in her hands.

Meredith's intern; Sara Kim had witnessed the whole scene from afar and she hurried to the on call room, knocking softly on the door. "Doctor Grey?" Shocked by the sound of Meredith's sobs instead of her usual welcome, Kim slowly opened the door. The intern's heart pounded, terrified at what could be so wrong.

"_Meredith_, you're hyperventilating!" Sara's voice rose in alarm. Meredith heaved a long ragged breath and looked up at the intern, her green eyes swollen, nearly shut from crying. Sara Kim shook her head and dropped on her knees next to Meredith. "Shhh…calm breaths. Keep breathing. Look at me Doctor Grey…that's it!" Sara Kim held Meredith's red-rimmed eyes in a steady gaze and kept whispering to steady Meredith's breathing.

"I'm OK now…I promise...thank you Sara," Meredith whispered after a soft, breathless voice. The young intern hated to leave but sensed Meredith wanted privacy. "Alright but if you need me, just call for me Doctor Grey!" Knowing Sara would keep her promise; Meredith locked the door of the on call room and sank down on the bed. Even now in the throes of powerful angst over losing Laura, Meredith felt anger rise inside her. What gave them the right to judge her? Yes, she was a doctor and she had to make long hours but Laura was always taken care of.

*** * ***

_Something is up!_

When Meredith entered the Chief of surgery's office and planted herself in front of him, he knew from the look on Meredith's face that something was drastically wrong.

"Sit down Meredith. What can I do for you?"

"Chief…I need to quit. You have to let me go…now!" Meredith, devastated by now, leaned forward to clasp the Chief's hand.

Not believing his ears, refusing to let his best resident leave, the Chief kept staring at Meredith. "Is this some kind of joke, Meredith?"

Meredith's cheek turned a deep red and she bowed her head. "No Sir…please don't ask why? I just have to go!"

"Well…I'm not eager of letting my best resident go but I guess you must have good reasons. Why don't you confide in me Meredith?"

Meredith shrugged, relief turning a small smile on her face. "I wish I could Sir but I c…can't. I'm sorry." Meredith closed her eyes, almost believing that when she opened them again, it would all turn out to be a terrible nightmare but it didn't work.

The Chief slowly shook his head. "I guess you leave me no other choice Meredith. You can pick up your recommendation letter at the end of the day…you're free to go to Seattle."

Moved to the core by his dear treatment, tears choked the back of Meredith's throat. She rose onto her wobbly legs and glanced at the Chief. "It was a pleasure working for you Sir. I've always hoped that should the worst ever happen, I'd built friendships along the way so they could stand by me…and Sir…you were…_are_ my friend!"

The Chief stood and extended his hand. Meredith smiled and stepped closer. She pressed a slight kiss on the Chief's cheek and whispered. "Thank you Sir. For everything!" With one last look, Meredith headed for the door.

*** * ***

"Where are we going mommy?" Laura asked.

"Don't worry…you'll find out when we get there!" Meredith replied hastily while glancing in her rear view mirror. Laura looked out the window at all the trees that went by and slowly her eyelids got heavier. When Meredith looked again, Laura's small head had fallen sideways and she was sleeping soundly. Meredith drove south, away from Boston…away from the people that threatened to take away her everything. She drove as fast as her old car allowed and with every street light, she passed, she felt more at ease. All that was important was Laura!

*** * ***

Derek glanced at his cell, frowning. Meredith hadn't returned any of his phone calls in two days now. He clenched and unclenched his jaw as he stared down the hallway, wondering about what could have happened. The last time he'd spoken to Meredith, she'd cut him off but he'd thought nothing of it, thinking she was just busy. Suddenly, Derek glanced up at a familiar voice. "Lex…wait up!" Derek hurried down the hallway, hoping Meredith's sister could shed some light on what was going on. Lexie's delicate features held Derek's gaze and her lips parted slightly as she regarded him in a friendly manner. Dark brown hair fell to her shoulders, slightly wavy and contrasting with her white doctor's coat. Lexie quizzically raised her eyebrows as Derek told her, Meredith hadn't returned any of his calls.

"Wait," Lexie smiled. She flipped open her cell and pushed the speed dial for Meredith's number. Lexie's smile quickly turned into a frown. She slowly closed her cell and gazed up at Derek. "Her number is no longer in service...what does this mean?"

Derek worriedly looked at Lexie then slowly shook his head. "Something is wrong. I'm going to call Boston!"

Lexie nodded, a little bit relaxed by Derek's words. "Let me know what's going on" she yelled out after Derek.

"Will do," Derek replied while he hurried to his office.

*** * ***

Clear skies greet Derek Shepherd as his plane landed about 7 p.m. at Boston's Logan International Airport. Sitting in a bumpy taxi, he glanced out the window and took in Boston at night. The night was tranquil. Boston was quiet and almost everyone was home. Derek took in a deep breath as his taxi stopped in front of Boston's Medical Centre. The chilly weather greeted him as he got of the cab and quickly headed inside. The receptionist showed Derek to a waiting room and motioned him to sit in a guest chair. "The Chief will be right with you Doctor Shepherd," she said friendly. Derek nodded and leafed through a magazine but his mind wasn't really on it. He was much too nervous anticipating what the Chief would tell him about Meredith.

"Doctor Shepherd? I'm Chief Greene," the man said friendly as he extended his hand forward.

"Derek Shepherd," Derek shook the chief's extended hand.

**….......**

The Chief shook his head and looked down. "I wish I could have told you more Derek but I'm afraid I'm in the dark too!"

Derek flinched and looked through the window at the black, starry night then he sighed and stared at the floor. "I don't understand. I thought she was happy…we were back together again," he said softly.

The Chief rested his hand on Derek's shoulder. "I'm sorry Derek but…wait…," the Chief turned and picked up his phone…

The intern in front of Derek was short and slender. Her black hair fell to the collar of her lab coat and she was wearing a fresh perfume.

"You're one of Meredith's…I mean Doctor Grey's interns?"

The intern smiled up at Derek. "Yes Sir!"

Sara Kim had a small face, black eyes and strong cheekbones. Her voice was low and husky, surprising in such a slender woman.

Derek smiled and extended his hand. "Hi…I'm Derek Shepherd!"

"_THE_ Doctor Shepherd?" Sara Kim's eyes widened and her cheeks flushed. "Pleased to meet you Sir!"

"The pleasure's all mine," Derek grinned but he soon turned serious again.

"Sara…I need your help!"

**….......**

"I've never seen doctor Grey so distraught," Sara said softly while she took something from her locker and handed it to Derek. "I've found this in the on call room…it's hers!" Derek picked up the folded paper ball and unfolded it to read its contents. His face turned pale and he closed his fist to crumple the letter. Worriedly he glanced at the intern. "They're threatening to take Laura away from her." Derek clenched his jaw; finally all the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. That's why Meredith had left; they threatened to take Laura away from her. But the big question was? Where were they?


	7. Hold On Tight To Your Dreams

**_Chapter 7 Hold On Tight To Your Dreams_**

Medina is a great place to lose oneself in, Meredith thought with a sense of unease as she turned on the navigation lights, peering with narrowed eyes through the windscreen. Luckily enough, she knew where she was heading…if only it wasn't so dark. About five and a half miles out of Seattle, some private cottages were situated, Meredith had remembered on her flight from Boston. She knew where they were but there were more ways than one of losing ones bearings, she thought nervously as she steered a rental car around yet another bend.

"_Crap_!" Meredith slammed her foot on the brake as something hurtled out of the dark…an owl, she sighed relieved at the glimpse of two, large, shiny eyes before the bird swerved off into the night. For a moment, Meredith glanced over her shoulder but Laura was still sleeping peacefully. Carefully, Meredith eased her foot off the brake and the car rolled forward only for her to come to a stop again around the next corner; a T-junction. Meredith bit her bottom lip…which way now, for goodness sake? _Think_, she thought to herself. She swallowed hard and glanced at the clock, nine-fifteen, it really was dark. Meredith wound down the window and leaned outside, shivering, peering through the rain for some kind of signpost, a landmark or something. She'd been to the cottages numerous times but that always had been in broad daylight. Meredith hesitated but took a left turn. Luck was on her side, for after a few minutes, she found what she was looking for; the cottage, looming up in the darkness. Relief flooded through Meredith as she parked the car behind the cottage. The rain had stopped at last and Meredith lifted Laura from her car seat. The cottage waited in the damp darkness and trees, shrubs and brambles grew right up on either side of it. Holding her breath, Meredith bent and lifted a cracked floorboard off the porch.

"Oh…thank God," she breathed as she picked up a shiny key. She turned it in the keyhole and opened the unlocked door.

"Mommy, are we there?" Laura asked sleepily.

Meredith kissed the top of Laura's head and answered softly, "Yeah, sweetie…we're there!"

*** * ***

Derek's day started, like every other. The alarm clock next to his bed went off at exactly the same time it should…the exact time it had every day of the year and the years before. Derek flicked on the light on his night stand and sat up, his legs moving out and off the bed, his feet flat on the floor. He ran a hand through his thick, black hair and sighed. Rubbing his eyes, he slowly shook his head. "God…Mere, where are you?" Derek breathed. The same thoughts kept running through his brain for four months now. Questions such as: "Where are they? Will I ever see them again? Or Are they OK?" Derek rose and slowly walked over to his closet, grabbing a fresh shirt from the top shelf. After glancing across his bedroom, he picked his jeans off the floor and slipped them on. He slowly buttoned his shirt as he made his way into the joining bathroom. He glared at his pale face in the mirror and began brushing his teeth. Outside the neighbour's dog barked as usual but today it was really annoying him. Derek grimaced and finished brushing his teeth. He used the bathroom and then made his way downstairs. He started making a bowl of cereal as he did every morning, awaiting his mind to calm down and accept the reality…Meredith was gone and he would probably never see her…or Laura again. As Derek poured the carton of milk, he was literally blown back by the enormous feeling of loss, he suddenly felt in his chest. He dropped the carton and milk was spilling out everywhere. Angrily, he wiped away a sudden tear that slid down his cheek. Desperately, he tried to push the images of Meredith out of his mind. "NO!" he thought desperately. "I will find them…even if I have to search her for the rest of my life!"

Suddenly, the door bell rang, pulling Derek out of his reverie. He wiped a weary hand across his face and slowly rose to answer the door.

*** * ***

The Emergency Room's examinations rooms were empty. The rush from the afternoon had accounted for the usual off-and-running first few hours of his shift but by three p.m. everything had settled down and Derek shuffled back to an on-call room to get some rest.

The Ambulance backed into the ER bay, beeping and flashing. The paramedics rolled a gurney out of the ambulance, up the ramp and through the doors into the tiled hallway where Lexie and George were waiting. On the gurney a man, about forty-five or fifty, lay motionless, his chest rising and falling almost imperceptibly. In the doorway of the examination room, George gestured to the paramedic "Was he conscious when you found him?"

"Nope," the paramedic replied, flicking a strand of blond hair out of his eyes, "but he smells like he's been celebrating!"

Lexie rolled her eyes and grimaced. George grinned and rolled an IV up to the table. "OK…how's his blood pressure?"

"Barely there…sixty over nothing."

"OK…get him on the table…fast!"

Lexie wrapped a blood pressure cuff around the patient's arm as the paramedics pulled the gurney beside the examination table.

Alex and Izzie hustled into the room, nodding to the paramedics and helping them to heave the unconscious man onto the examination table that stood in the centre of the room.

"Heavy dude," Alex groaned. "OK on three!"

"_One…two…three_!"

"Any family coming in?" Izzie asked the blond paramedic who was stripping the soiled sheets of his gurney.

"Don't think so doc," the paramedic shook his head while throwing the sheets in one of the hampers along the wall. "The guy lived alone."

Lexie nodded and stepped closer to the examination table while the paramedics left the ER.

"His pulse is thready," George said, his fingers on the unconscious man's wrist. "Who's on call?"

"Shepherd," Lexie mumbled while she pulled out her bandage scissors and split the man's T-shirt and trousers. She grimaced as she peeled away his clothing. The grey trousers were all bloody and the man's legs were plastered with dry blood.

"OK…get him in here," George said, cocking his head toward Lexie who was pumping up the blood pressure cuff. "His belly is like a drum…he's bleeding internally."

Derek strolled into the examination room, wearing rumpled dark blue scrubs. "What do we have?" he asked, glancing at the unconscious man.

"Name's Tim Dalen," Izzie said, the patient's black leather wallet in her hand. "I will try to contact his family."

Derek nodded and stepped closer to the table. "Got a chart going?" he asked Lexie.

Lexie nodded and held the clipboard in front of Derek's face. He glanced at the chart and thanked her with a nod.  
"Start another IV on him," Derek said as he leaned over the man, a stethoscope dangling from his neck.

The huge man stirred on the table and groaned as Derek slid the stethoscope over his chest and abdomen. "Mr. Dalen…do you hear me?"

The man mumbled and began to choke. He raised his head and shoulders, vomited and then fell back onto the table with a thud. A dark, brown coffee-ground-like material spread from his chin and neck onto the sheet behind his head, wetting his hair. An acrid smell of sour whiskey and old blood filled the room.

"Let's get him on his side," Derek yelled, "quickly!"

George and Alex rolled the heavy man onto his left side. As Izzie steadied him, Lexie pushed a kidney basin against the man's cheek. She quickly ran water onto some gauze to wipe off his smudged face.

"Have the lab type and cross match three units of blood," Derek said to Izzie.

"Yes doctor Shepherd," Izzie replied while she picked up the wall phone and dialled the lab. Derek walked over to study the cardiac monitor and then turned. "What's his pressure now?" he asked.

"70 over 45," George answered, his fingers palpating the artery inside the man's elbow.

"It looks like he's been bleeding internally for some time," Derek said. "Some of his vomit is black! Call Bailey…stat. He'll probably needs an operation."

A deep rumble came from the patient.

"Yes Sir." George replied while rushing to the phone.

Derek glanced at the patient and cursed. A rapid enlarging halo of bright, red blood pooled at Tim Dalen's head.

"New bleeding," Lexie shouted.

"Start another bloodline. We'll try a Blakemore to stop the throat haemorrhage."

Izzie moved in to take the man's blood pressure again. "58 over 30," she called out while she rushed to the equipment cart to take the Blakemore tube.

"Need some help in here?" Miranda poked her head in the door.

"We've got a bleeder in here," Derek yelled. "This guy's a train wreck!"

Miranda looked at the ashen colored man on the table. Four units of blood were hanging like red balloons over him, spilling bloody rain into his veins as quickly as possible but no matter how hard they tried, they couldn't replace the man's blood loss fast enough.

Miranda quickly grabbed a fresh pair of gloves and slid them on, rushing to the table. "What's his heart rate?"

Izzie glanced at the monitor. "Fifty-three," she called out. "PVC's…lots of irregularities."

**…**

Tim Dalen stopped breathing as his seventh unit of blood was being pumped into his veins. In the examination room hung a familiar silence.

"Time of death…5.13," Derek said softly.

Miranda Bailey nodded. Nurses stepped closer and removed the tubes from the man's nose. They pulled the dirty sheets out from under him and covered him with a clean sheet. Unfortunately, they hadn't been able to save the unlucky patient.

*** * ***

About six o'clock Derek and Miranda moved into the nurse's lounge with large cups of coffee. Marc Sloane and Callie sat in the lounge grinning about something.

"Hey," Marc said as Derek eased himself onto the leather couch. "Did your guy make it?"

"Nope," Derek said softly while nipping from his coffee.

"I'm sorry," Marc replied while leaping to his feet. "Well I'm off…see you guys tomorrow!"

"Lucky bastard," Derek smiled while he glanced at his best friend.

Marc laughed as he grabbed his leather coat. "OK guys…see you later!"

Derek groaned while rolling over on the couch, closing his eyes. Marc had one hand on the door handle when he turned and looked back. "Derek…next time you go fishing, give me a call and I'll join you OK?"

Derek opened his eyes and grinned. "_YOU_? Fishing?"

Marc nodded. "Yeah…On my ride through Medina last month, I saw lights in your cottage. Next time, give me a call…OK?"

Derek frowned but nodded. "Yeah…will do Marc. See ya!"

"_Great_!" Derek snapped, rising to his feet and throwing his empty coffee cup into a bin.

"What's with you?" Miranda Bailey asked, clearly annoyed by Derek's mood swing.

"I haven't been fishing last month so that means someone broke into my fishing cottage," Derek sighed while he left the nurses' lounge...


	8. Back Where I Was

**_Chapter 8 Back Where I Was_**

Derek reached Medina a little after 9 p.m. He found a car park close to the dirt road that led to the fishing cottages and parked. As he left the car park, his mind began racing through possible explanations why the lights in his cottage could have been on but he couldn't name one single explanation other than that someone broke in. Derek had walked for about ten minutes when Reddish brown terraced cottages appeared on both sides of him. In a few cottages the lights were on inside and he could see few silhouettes outlined against them. At least, he wasn't alone up here, he thought with a sigh of relief. Maybe it had been better to call the police, Derek thought while he neared his cottage. When it finally came in sight, he halted abruptly. Marc had been right, the lights in the cottage were burning and smoke was rising from the chimney. Derek frowned thoughtful for a moment. He couldn't just barge in there maybe whoever was inside, was armed…what then? Derek started pacing up and down, worried and restless.

When suddenly the door to his cottage opened, he came to a standstill and stared unbelievingly at the woman that appeared before him.

"_Meredith_?" Derek said softly, his voice cracking, hardly daring to believe it was really her. Derek's heart started thumping violently, which felt as if it was about to burst from his chest. Meredith looked up, shocked at the sound of Derek's voice. She dropped her arms to her side and stared at him as if she'd seen a ghost. Derek lifted his eyes to Meredith's beautiful face and smiled. She looked very upset, with tears in her eyes. Derek slowly climbed the porch until he stood before her. "Hi," he said softly.

Meredith shook her head and started crying more violently. "I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm so sorry!" Derek wrapped his arms around Meredith and pulled her to his chest, closing his eyes in relief. "It's OK," he said softly. "Shhh…everything's OK!"

"_Derek_…," Meredith sobbed.

"I was so worried about you," Derek whispered quietly to her.

Meredith lifted her face and her teary eyes met Derek's for a moment. "I'm so glad you've found me," she whispered. Derek nodded, the ability to speak lost as his eyes seemed to focus solely on Meredith's lips. Slowly, they began to move towards each other as if there was some sort of unknown force that pulled them towards each other. In an instant Derek's and Meredith's lips melted together and he couldn't suppress a soft moan as her tongue touched his. Their eyes closed as they lost themselves in the sensations of their reunification kiss.

* * *

Standing on the porch with the moonlight glowing through Meredith's hair, Derek discovered in himself a reluctance to let go of her. Only when a forceful gust of wind stung at their faces and made her shiver, Derek let go; but only for a short time. A second later, he wrapped a strong arm around her, guiding her back into the cottage. Inside, she paled slightly and turned away from him, avoiding meeting his gaze.

"You OK?" Derek asked.

Meredith shivered again and dropped her eyes to the floor. "Are you very angry with me?" she asked softly. Derek shook his head. "No," he admitted honestly. "I'm not angry. I was only worried about you and Laura!" Derek strode toward Meredith and backed her softly against the wall. He brought his hand up to tilt her chin and placed his lips softly on her forehead. "I know why you left Mere…," he whispered. "I know Laura's grandparents threatened to take her away from you….but that's not going to happen," he added firmly. Meredith just stared at Derek as she digested his words. She said nothing as Derek wrapped his arms around her. She just settled herself against his chest like a small child. Here was where she belonged…safe in _his_ arms. Instinctively, Derek tilted his head down to rest his cheek against the top of Meredith's head where he could inhale the sweet, familiar, lavender scent of her hair and feel the soft strands on his skin.

"Have you been…?"

Meredith looked up and placed a finger on Derek's lips, hushing him. Her voice lowered to a whisper. "Derek…," she began. "There's more…!"

Derek frowned and then waited.

Meredith took in a deep breath. "Do you remember that last night in Seattle, right before Laura and I had to leave?"

Derek swallowed and nodded silently.

Meredith watched him and her grip tightened gently on Derek's hand. She moistened her lips before she continued. "What I want to say – what I want to explain is – is that I'm…pregnant!"

Meredith's words seemed to hover in the air. She could see Derek's eyes widen, but his expression froze, not showing much of anything. He took in a deep breath, ran his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes. After a while, he raised his head and Meredith leaned forward.

"Mere…," Derek started, opening his eyes slowly. "You're having… my baby?"

Meredith nodded and tilted her head slightly to the side. She saw on Derek's face, a mixture of emotions…disbelief, delight, amazement, happiness. Touched by his deep emotions, she slipped her arms around his neck. "I take it…this is good news?" she whispered softly. Derek nodded and dropped on his knees. He slowly unbuttoned Meredith's shirt and stared at her rounded, naked abdomen. He tenderly kissed the swelling bulge before wrapping his arms around her and resting his head against her waist.

*** * ***

"Derek…are you asleep?" Meredith whispered.

"Mmm," Meredith felt Derek move in bed and then his body was behind hers, nice warmth radiating off of him. His arm flung over her in a possessive stance. For a moment, he lay relaxed but then his muscles tensed and he sat up, hovering over Meredith. "Was that…?" he asked perplexed.

Meredith turned over and lay flat on her back, her gaze tenderly locked with Derek's. She nodded. "…That…was the baby!" Meredith took Derek's hand and laid it on her swollen bump. Derek felt the baby stir and his eyes widened. He tenderly smiled…a smile that made Meredith's heart melt. She closed her eyes and thanked God, he'd found her.

"Doesn't it hurt?" Derek asked after a while as he still felt the baby moving within Meredith's womb. When he didn't get a reply, he realized she was sound asleep and didn't hear him. Smiling, he lay back down and wrapped an arm around her. He closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath, grateful for finding her. At the exact moment, he heard the muffled sounds of a crying child. Not wanting to wake up Meredith, Derek rushed to the joining bedroom. He found Laura sitting in her bed, weeping. Laura instinctively stretched out her arms at the sound of the opening door but she dropped them in surprise when it wasn't her mother that entered. Her face instantly lit up though at the sight of Derek. "_Derek_!" Laura swung her little arms around Derek's neck and hugged him tight. "I've missed you so much!"

"I've missed you too, sweetie," Derek said softly, overwhelmed by her enthusiasm of seeing him.

*** * ***

Meredith woke up, curled in a fetal position. As her eyes gradually adjusted to the darkness, she glanced beside her but Derek's spot was empty. Had it been a dream? Meredith sighed and slid out of the warm confines of her bed. After slipping into her bathrobe, she tiptoed over to Laura's bedroom. Meredith smiled when she opened the door. Her eyes fell upon two sleeping figures in one small bed. Laura's head came to rest on Derek's chest and he had his arm, protectively wrapped around her. Meredith walked over to the bed and delicately stroked stray strands of Derek's hair from his face. He opened his eyes and blinked into the darkness before seeing Meredith's face. He smiled and gently rose from the bed, making sure he wouldn't disturb Laura.

Meredith tilted her head to the side as Derek wrapped his arms around her waist, placing his head on her shoulder. "She's beautiful, isn't she?" she whispered softly.

"Yeah," Derek replied quietly as he nuzzled Meredith's neck. She spun around in his arms, surprising Derek. She wound her arms around his neck and pressed herself firmly against his chest. "I can't loose her Derek…I can't," she started crying desperately.

"Shhh," Derek glanced over Meredith's shoulder at Laura, sleeping peacefully, and then back at Meredith. He brought up one hand to push a strand of hair behind her ear then he brushed his lips against Meredith's. "Tomorrow, we'll drive up to Boston and we'll talk to her grandparents. I'm sure this is all one big misunderstanding," As Derek soothed her, Meredith's breathing got calmer. "Come on," he said tenderly. "Let's try to get some sleep." Meredith glanced one last time at Laura and then let Derek guide her back to the bedroom.

*** * ***

A day later, back in Seattle at Izzie and Alex' house, Laura asked in tearful tones. "But you're coming to get me…huh?" Meredith swallowed hard and Derek noticed, she had trouble keeping her tears in. He threw an arm around Laura's waist and drew her onto his knee. "We'll only be gone for a few days," he said, softly caressing Laura's hair and cheek; "And then we'll be back. That's a promise!"

Laura nodded, tears stealing down her cheeks. Derek released Laura and pressed a kiss on her forehead then Meredith dropped to her knees and Laura wrapped her little arms around her neck. "I'll see you soon," Meredith whispered in Laura's ear. With an aching heart, she watched how Izzie took Laura's hand. They waved until Derek's car turned the next corner.

"Oh, God, I hope this isn't a mistake," Meredith prayed as she breathed in deeply.

"Hey, you don't have to do this alone," Derek told her softly. Meredith looked up and met his eyes. "I've been so stupid," Meredith said quietly. "I never should have run."

"You did what you felt was right," Derek responded softly, holding her gaze for a moment before looking down to her gentle bump. Meredith sighed again and placed one hand over her protruding stomach. She swallowed hard and glanced outside. She only looked up when she felt Derek's hand covering hers. "Don't worry too much," he said tenderly.

"I'll try," she replied softly.

The closer they got to Laura's grandparents' house, the tighter the knot in Meredith's stomach grew. She wondered vaguely why people referred to it as butterflies because the sensation she now felt in her stomach didn't feel light and airy enough to be butterflies. It felt more like she had swallowed a rock whole. A cold sweat broke out as Derek finally halted in front of a large house.

"This is it," he stated firmly looking up at the house. Meredith glanced outside. Laura's grandparents' house was situated in a wealthy neighborhood. The houses were enormous, all vaguely Tudor in style, and the yards more looked like parks in stead of yards. Swallowing with an effort against the lump of sheer panic in her throat, Meredith looked down, checking her clothing, before she got out of the car. Derek took Meredith's hand in his and gave it an assuring squeeze. "Don't worry…you look beautiful," he said, his voice turning tender. Meredith swallowed hard, once again. "Let's do this," she murmured, opening the gate and marching to the door before she was convinced, she would loose her nerves. They stood on the porch and Derek rang the door bell. When nobody answered, he rang the bell again, leaving his fingers on the button just a couple of seconds longer.

"They're not home…let's go," Meredith pulled Derek's sleeve but then the door swung open and a pleasingly-plump middle-aged woman with curly, grey hair greeted them.

"Hello…what can I do for y…?" The woman didn't finish her sentence instead she gazed at Meredith as if she'd seen a ghost. "M…molly," the woman stuttered nervously.

"No ma'am," Meredith replied, surprised at the loudness of her own voice. "Molly was my sister…I'm Meredith…_Meredith Grey_!"

The old woman let out a startled cry and then turned and disappeared into the house. "This is definitely not good," Meredith moaned while she looked down at her nervously fidgeting fingers.

Only a few seconds later, the woman returned in the company of a middle-aged man. "It's…it's her…," the woman energetically nodded while pointing at Meredith.

"Well lady, what did you do to our granddaughter?" the man barked at Meredith. Derek glanced aside; Meredith's lips trembled and she just stared at her palms.

"Your granddaughter is fine…we'll just want a word with you Sir," Derek said as he made one step forward. The old man's eyes snapped up and he looked at Derek frantically. "And who the hell are you?"

"My name is Derek Shepherd…Doctor Derek Shepherd and I'm a friend of Miss Grey. Sir, I can assure you, we only want to talk. Your granddaughter is in good health and if you want, you can see her real soon!" The man's eyes softened considerably at the sound of Laura's name and a more serene expression found its way to his face. Meredith was surprised at the look but chose not to say anything. Laura's grandmother rested her hand on her husband's arm and glanced up at him pleadingly. "I guess it's OK Ben…let's talk to Miss Grey!"

The old man sighed but then offered his hand. "Ben Thompson…please come in…Miss Grey…doctor Shepherd?" Meredith reluctantly shook Laura's granddad's hand but when she felt Derek's hand grasp hers, she followed him inside.

*** * ***

Meredith's heart thudded behind her ribs and she wanted nothing more than to run but she simply couldn't move, she was physically pinned to the chair, she was sitting in. Eventually she took in a deep breath. "I didn't mean to run away with Laura but your letter scared me to death," she said softly, folding her hands in her lap and staring at the floor. Laura's grandparents peered at each other more closely, Laura's granddad shrugging his shoulders. It was Mrs. Thompson, who leaned closer to Meredith. "It was not our intention to scare you dear but when we lost our son and daughter-in-law, we were under the expression, we would still be able to see our granddaughter but until now…we've only seen her once!" The words of Laura's grandmother swirled through Meredith's brain, flooding along the wrinkled channels of her cerebellum and she felt terribly guilty. Her mouth moved, but no sounds came out. Slowly Meredith raised her head, looking at Derek, pleadingly. He nodded as all the pieces of the puzzle fell together. _Meredith never kept Laura away from her grandparents intentionally; she simply hadn't known what to do. It was also why they had broken up after Meredith had gotten the care over Laura. She hadn't known how to be a family. _Derek smiled. The last few years had definitely formed Meredith as the person she was right now…a person, he would definitely want to share his life with.

"Excuse me…but can I please say something?" Laura's grandparents turned their attention to Derek, who nodded at Meredith. When his gaze met hers, she unnoticeably nodded back.

"When I moved to Seattle…I've met this incredible young woman. I wanted to share my life with her but she was scarred. Scarred when she was a child, by an unloving mom and an uncaring dad. We grew apart when she felt obligated to take care of her niece…your grandchild," Derek paused for a moment and Meredith swallowed hard. She felt how tears stung in her eyes. Derek smiled reassuringly and then continued. "Meredith never knew how it was to be part of a family. She never knew how important it was to have grandparents but I also know that Laura has changed her. I've never met someone who was more devoted to her child as she it…Meredith is a loving mom and I'm sure…she will allow you to be part of Laura's life. Don't blame _**her**_ for keeping Laura away from you. She didn't do this on purpose…she simply didn't know how to let you in!" Derek completed his speech by taking Meredith's hand. Looking up, Meredith saw the eyes of Laura's grandmother resting on her, a small tear rolling down her cheek.

*** * ***

Back in their hotel room, Meredith clapped her hands excitedly and threw herself into Derek's lap, placing her head on his shoulder. He couldn't help but put his arms around her and smile; Meredith was so excited, her body was slightly trembling. "Thank you so much…I don't know what I would have done without you," she whispered softly. Derek smiled and glanced down at Meredith. Her blue-green eyes rested tenderly on him and her white teeth nibbled on her lower lip in that adorable way of hers; she was simply irresistible. Derek leaned closer and brushed a kiss across Meredith's lips. "You're sweet," he whispered.

"What?" Meredith's eyes grew big in her small face.

"You're sweet…and Laura is a very lucky girl to have you as a mom!" Derek reached out and toyed with a strand of Meredith's hair, rubbing the golden silk between his fingers. Meredith blushed and shook her head.

"Seriously," Derek insisted, leaning closer once more to kiss Meredith. This time, his mouth lingered on Meredith's, his tongue sliding softly along her bottom lip. She opened her mouth for him invitingly and Derek slanted his mouth across hers. His tongue brushed over Meredith's as he cupped his hand on her cheek.

"Hmmm," Derek moaned when he drew back a moment later, his breath ragged. He met Meredith's gaze and saw that her eyes were darker with excitement too. For moments they kept staring at each other, sexual tension snapping between them. The urgent hunger, Derek suddenly felt for Meredith made him lean down for another kiss. This time, he put his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. God, she felt good in his arms…all warm and soft, her curves fitting his body perfectly, and the fresh lavender scent of her hair filling his head. He kissed her again, a long, deep, swallowing, open-mouthed kiss. Meredith tenderly touched Derek's cheek. "The last time we've made love…we've made a baby," she whispered. Derek nodded, brushed his mouth over Meredith's again and then smiled as she slowly, almost dreamily moved away from his lap. The look in her eyes told him everything he needed to know. He slowly rose and carefully scooped Meredith in his arms. He carried her across the room and laid her on the bed. After stripping off his shirt and pants he got on the bed beside Meredith, tenderly kissing her.

"We've made a baby," he smiled while he splayed his fingers over Meredith's belly and the baby inside.

"What name shall we give _**him**_?"

Meredith rolled her eyes. "_**Him**_? It can also be a _**her**_…you know?" She giggled, tenderly rubbing the stubble on Derek's chin.

Derek smiled and stroked Meredith's bulging stomach. "No matter what s.e.x. the baby is, it's already inherited my luck!"

"Why would you say that?" Meredith wondered.

Derek touched Meredith's chin and kissed her tenderly. "Because you will be its mom!" Meredith smiled warmly at Derek, a tear forming in her eyes. Somehow, he always knew the right things to say. Derek lifted Meredith's shirt to expose the soft skin of her belly. He placed both hands on her abdomen before lowering his head to kiss and nuzzle her skin. She smelled fresh like rain on a spring morning. When her hand touched his hair, he slid his fingers beneath the elastic waist band of her panties. His mouth followed his fingers as he pushed the elastic down to expose her entire lower belly. Their unborn baby made a soft mound below Meredith's belly button that he could easily encase in his hands. Derek settled soft kisses over Mer's belly while she ran both hands over his hair. As he turned his head to look at her, he was dazzled by the look on her face. Her head was thrown back with eyes closed, lips slightly parted and a delicate flush travelling from her face to the exposed skin of her neck. All of a sudden, Derek wanted Meredith, as he'd never wanted her before. He raised himself to unbutton her shirt and nuzzle her soft skin. Meredith held her breath as one of Derek's fingers traced a path to her nipple, circling it with a soft touch before he took it between his hot lips, licking it gently. Meredith shivered though warmth spread through her. Derek gently cupped her breasts, watching small goose bumps form under his touch. He watched as she sighed and closed her eyes, and he continued running his fingertips lightly over her sensitive breasts, savoring each moment. He listened to the rise and fall of her breaths and the small moans of pleasure she let out when his fingers strayed over a particularly, sensitive spot. Finally, she pulled him down to her, so their skin was touching. She whispered into his ear, sending shivers down his spin. "Make love to me Derek!"

"You sure? I don't want to hurt you Mere…," Derek whispered with genuine concern.

"I want you Derek and…_**you**_ could never hurt me," Meredith said softly, looking into his eyes. They kissed, deeply and passionately. Derek rolled on top of Meredith, pushing down her panties. He couldn't think of anything else except Meredith, and how it would feel to be inside her. _Would it be different now she was carrying his baby_? He felt how Meredith eagerly pushed down his boxers, struggling to contain his excitement as her hand accidently brushed over his manhood. She moaned softly and pulled Derek down towards her. Derek was trembling now; he couldn't help it. He swallowed as he felt himself positioning at her entrance, her warmth enveloping him. He braced himself on his forearms to prevent from crushing her and slowly sank down into Meredith; God…this felt good! Derek continued to push down slowly and felt her stretching, widening to accommodate him. Meredith's eyes were open and she tenderly watched him as his breathing became uneven. It almost felt unbelievable having him inside her and she felt tightness in her throat as though she was on the verge of a sob. Slowly Derek rocked forward and Meredith let out a moan that was almost a whimper. Derek paused, lost in the wonder how she reacted to him. His eyes focused on Meredith's and gained an intense look as he started a slow, steady rhythm.

"Oh…mmm…Mere…," Derek moaned. She was driving him crazy and he couldn't take much more. No matter how many times he told himself, he had to be careful, he was constantly fighting the urge to take her….he needed more of her…he needed to get deeper. This was almost torture. God, she was so tight, so wet, so perfect, and the noises she made…the soft mews...the throaty gasps...the moans...the low groans. Derek was so turned on…so hard! Meredith's arms wrapped around his neck and he felt her hot breath as she sighed in his ear. It was killing him…a slow burn. He pulled back and was about to thrust into her when he saw the look in her eyes. Those eyes…the look, she was giving him…it was the most amazing look he'd ever seen.

"_What_?" Derek gasped as he slowly thrust into Meredith. She stared at him, pressing her forehead against Derek's as he continued his slow assault.

"You're driving me crazy," Meredith moaned. "I'm pregnant…not breakable…love me Derek!" Meredith took in a sharp breath and pulled her legs wider apart so Derek had better access. He swallowed and buried himself inside Meredith, hard and fast, unable to stop the loud groan that escaped his lips. Meredith's back arched and she let out a cry at his re-entrance. He looked down on her as he began to move inside her to see that she was looking at him again, though barely able to keep open her eyes.

"Oh…Derek…oh yes," Meredith said in a strangled whisper as her hands gripped his upper arms. At the sound of his name on her lips, Derek started moving faster, deeper…feeling he was close to the edge. He swallowed hard and began to worry he wouldn't be able to hold out long enough for Meredith when he felt her come violently beneath him, crying out his name. Her feminine walls tightened around him, making his vision cloudy, "Mere…Oh God…mmm!" Derek squeezed his eyes shut as he emptied himself into her, savouring the moment as he thrust his few last times. When he opened his eyes, he saw her looking up at him. He leaned down and kissed her, tenderly but firmly. Meredith answered Derek's kiss passionately, still riding the high of her climax. It had been overpowering…_Derek_ was overpowering. He was still buried deep inside her but then she felt him shifting his weights and pulling out while carefully continuing the kiss. Now, he lay beside her, his hand cupping her face, kissing her senseless. When Derek finally pulled away, Meredith tried to catch her breath, staring at him. He wouldn't take his eyes off of her as if he thought; she would disappear again if he did. Meredith reached up to caress Derek's cheek the way he was caressing hers. They stayed that way for a few moments, gazing into each other's eyes, then Meredith tried to get up to go to the bathroom but Derek's arms were around her instantly, pulling her back.

"Where are you going?" he sighed.

"I have to pee…," she smiled at him, rolling her eyes.

He grinned and released her. When Meredith exited the bathroom, she was surprised to find Derek standing right in front of the door. When she shut it behind her, he wrapped his arms around her, gripping her waist.

"I love you Meredith Grey…and I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he breathed passionately.

"And I want to spend the rest of my life with you," Meredith said softly while her arms slid around Derek's neck. Their eyes closed as they lost themselves in the sensations of a lingering kiss and dawn was turning the sky pink when they finally drifted asleep after a long night of slow lovemaking…


	9. You Make Me Home

**_Chapter 10 You Make Me Home_**

Meredith pushed the white doorbell several times, giving little time between each push. When nobody showed up, her hand went to her hip and she began to tap her foot impatiently which elicited a grin from Derek. Finally, the inside door swung open and Alex appeared behind the door's glass. He quickly flipped a latch and pushed the door open. "Hey!"

Meredith mumbled a quick hello and dashed inside and up the stairs without bothering to pay any attention to what Derek and Alex were doing. Derek shook his head but a tender smile floated on his lips as he watched Meredith disappearing into the house.

"Dude…I guess, she's missed the kid," Alex grinned while he shook Derek's extended hand. "Yeah, she did," Derek breathed while he followed Alex into the kitchen.

"MERE…," Izzie squealed, her blonde ponytail bouncing around wildly. "You're back!" The two women hugged, tears and sobs beginning to rack both their bodies.

"_How did it go…?" _

"_Is Laura alright?" _

Meredith and Izzie were asking each other questions and crying at the same time, overpowered by the extremely pleasant feeling of seeing each other again. Izzie was the first one that came to her senses. "Laura's just fine Mere! She's a great kid," Izzie smiled giving Meredith another, reassuring hug.

"The Thompsons were great too," Meredith breathed. "They were so understanding...God I've been stupid!"

Izzie smiled understandingly. "That's great…I just knew everything would turn out right. Would you like to take a peek at Laura…I've just checked on her…she's sleeping peacefully." Meredith nodded eagerly in response and Izzie carefully pushed down the door handle to the guest room. Meredith's eyes needed a moment to adjust to the dim lit room but then she discovered the sleeping form of Laura, curled up in bed. Tears glistened in Meredith's eyes as she leaned over and tenderly kissed her daughter's forehead. "Mommy's back…sweetie," she whispered softly. The little girl stirred and moaned, her little hand moving to her head but she didn't wake up. With another tender smile, Meredith stood, closing the door behind her as she left the room. For a moment, she leaned against it, tears of happiness running freely down her face.

"_Meredith_…?" Izzie whispered, suddenly standing next to Meredith, causing her friend to jump ten feet into the air.

"Oh my God, Iz…don't do that?" Meredith breathed a hand over her heart.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to startle you…," Izzie softly said.

"It's fine…I'm just a bit…jumpy!" Meredith said, closing her eyes briefly and taking in deep breaths.

"Meredith Grey…isn't there something you need to tell me?" Izzie asked, stunned by Meredith's strange behavior.

"Hmmmm?" Meredith answered, avoiding Izzie's eyes. For a moment, she stood hesitantly with a panicky expression creeping up on her face. She felt suddenly so overwhelmed by everything; she could feel tears starting to blur her vision. Izzie got a glimpse of a lone tear falling down Meredith's cheek before she quickly turned her head away. Izzie took a step forward and caught one of Meredith's hands. "The times I've seen you cry…I can count on one hand. What's going on?"

Embarrassed, Meredith wiped her eyes free of tears and straightened, desperately trying to compose herself_. Damn hormones_!

Izzie stood in the hallway, unsure what to make of Meredith's sudden break-down. Meredith felt Izzie's gaze and looked up at her. Their eyes met and Meredith smiled at her shyly. "I'm pregnant!" She simply stated, shrugging her shoulders.

Izzie stared at Meredith, her eyes wide open. "You're…what?"

"Yeah…four months!" Izzie listened to Meredith's words, playing them back in her brain. Was Meredith saying…? "Who's the father?"

"Izzie!…Derek of course!" Meredith breathed, slightly annoyed. "Who else? Derek's the only man I've slept with."

"That means…you've slept with Derek when you were…here in Seattle," Izzie smiled, trying to reconcile what had happened. Meredith couldn't stop a small smile from crossing her face. Izzie looked so smug and surprised. "Yeah…we did!"

Izzie let out a squeal of joy and wrapped her arms around Meredith. "That's…great! Don't you realize? We're pregnant together!"

*** * ***

The barking of a stray dog woke Meredith from a deep sleep. Lifting her head from the pillow, she struggled to make out the time displayed in red digits on the alarm clock; 1.12 a.m. A cool gush of wind slipped in under the half open window and Meredith shivered, promptly rolling over. Pulling the blanket over her bare shoulder, she buried her face in Derek's warm chest. He was sound asleep and shifted slightly, as if instinctively making room for her. His hand had already been resting on her hip and travelled with her when she rolled, so now it was resting on her opposite hip as she faced him. She cuddled in close, turning her head to press her cheek to the smooth, hard planes of Derek's chest. Closing her eyes, she could still hear the dog in the distance but she focused on Derek's steady heartbeat.

_Four months pregnant! It didn't seem possible that in just a little over five months, she would give birth to __his baby. The thought was thrilling and terrifying at the same time! _Meredith swallowed hard, looking up. Derek sighed, murmuring in his sleep. He slid his hand up to the curve of Meredith's waist, gently rubbing it back and forth before sliding around to the small of her back to pull her in close with another sigh. Meredith felt Derek, hard against her softness and that warm heat of anticipation immediately pooled in her stomach. She arched her back so her body glided against Derek, tilting her head slightly back as he lowered his mouth to her neck. Meredith sighed as she felt his warm, wet kisses ease down her neck. His hands travelled under her t-shirt with a practiced ease, leaving a delicious trail of nerve endings tingling in their wake. Derek gently rubbed his palm over Meredith's sensitive breasts, causing the peaked nubs to go tight and hard. Then he lowered his mouth to them, soft and hot. The sudden sensation elicited a quiet moan from the back of Meredith's throat and after that...everything started to go hazy, a lovely blur of feelings and sensations. She allowed Derek to roll her to her side and was vaguely aware of him gently wrapping his arms around her waist, and then he was inside her. Derek was gentle, tender and slow at first, the sensations washing over Meredith like a warm, heavy tide but then he went faster, harder, keeping pace with the rapid, breathless beat of her heart. Derek's breath was ragged in her ear and a soft groan of lust and desire made her smile. She came on a gasp and shuddered when he brought his hand lower and touched her most sensitive spot with his thumb. She moaned his name and then she was gently falling back to earth. Derek gently pulled back but then rolled over, taking Meredith with him. She snuggled her body as close to his as possible. Seeking out the sound of his heartbeat again, Meredith smiled softly as she listened to the thunderous pounding gradually to slow to a more normal, even rhythm.

"I love that I'm having your baby," Derek softly heard Meredith murmur. He seemed to take a moment, gazing up at the ceiling of their bedroom.  
"Why…?" he finally asked, his voice, soft and tender.

"Then I'll always have a part of you with me," Meredith whispered, her voice slowly drifting off into a drowsy murmur as sleep started to overtake her senses. She adjusted her position, seeking that perfect place for her head under his chin as Derek tenderly wrapped an arm around her waist. Derek continued to gaze up at the ceiling as he gently caressed small circles over the back of Meredith's shoulder, thinking how she'd changed…how hard she'd worked to become the person she was right now. He'd been in love with her like…forever…at least as long as he could remember. He felt he was a better person because of her. Derek listened as Meredith's breathing started to slow, sensing that exact point when she gave up and eased back into her dreams…and then he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to the top of Meredith's head.

"I love you Meredith Grey…," he whispered. "…And I love that you're having my baby!"

*** * ***

Would Chief Webber let her re-enter Seattle's program? Meredith bit her bottom lip. Maybe in a quarter or so, she would hear his final decision. Meredith leaned over the balcony and watched the small crowd of intern's below. A young intern with tousled hair flirted with a dark-frail-looking nurse but she didn't give him the time of day. Meredith felt a twinge of envy. _She would love to be part of Seattle Grace's staff again but would she stand a chance_?

"Meredith? You can come in now!"

Meredith straightened her shoulders and took in a deep breath to steady her nerves. "Yes Ma'am." Plastering a smile on her face, she held her head up high nodding to the Chief's secretary. Meredith felt her courage begin to waver as she saw Chief Webber behind his desk. Her steps slowed and she felt her feet trying to turn in another direction, but from somewhere deep inside a reserve of strength, made her force herself to look op and face him.

**……….**

Meredith wandered down hallways that smelled faintly of antiseptic and betadine, muttering because she couldn't find Derek. By now, she'd practically seen every floor in the entire hospital. She sighed in relief when she ran into the pediatric attending.

Doctor Bailey, have you seen Derek?"

Miranda smiled and nodded her head approvingly. "Heard you've come to join us again Grey…good decision…oh and Derek…he's in one of the on call rooms on the surgical floor…sleeping…so don't wake him!"

"Oh…I won't! Thanks, Doctor Bailey, glad to be back!" Meredith giggled.

"You're welcome…Doctor Grey!"

Meredith hurried down more hallways, more blank doors and windows with drawn blinds. An occasional nurse or intern passed her but neither asked questions why she was running around the hallways, dressed in regular clothes past visiting hours. A couple of flights of stairs and Meredith finally found herself, standing in front of the on call rooms on the surgical floor. The doorknob of the first on call room was icy to the touch. Meredith turned it and slowly pushed the door open, afraid to disturb a sleeping attending, intern or resident. Only a bedside lamp illuminated the on call room. There was a bunk bed on one side, upholstered in blue, and a square table with a vase with no flowers, on top. Derek was lying on the lower bed with his eyes closed but he opened them when he heard the door.

"Hey," he whispered his lips barely moving. "How did it go?"

Meredith leaned over and pressed her lips against Derek's. "As off tomorrow, I'm one of Seattle Grace Surgical Residents," Meredith smiled while her eyes sparkled.

"That's great…I knew Richard would take you back!" Derek's hand gently encircled Meredith's waist, pulling her closer. Meredith closed her eyes as his hand ran up and down her back. Derek kissed her passionately and she felt her body quickly responding to his. Somehow, their clothes found their way to the floor in an untidy heap. Slipping under the blankets, next to Derek, she searched for his skin. His hands and lips were everywhere and Meredith shuddered as he came inside her with the force of a tidal wave. The old bunk bed creaked rhythmically underneath their weight. Afterwards, Meredith collapsed naked, tiny drops of sweat, covering her skin, beside Derek. He wrapped his arms lovingly around her and she heard him whisper in her ear. "You know that we've made love every day since I've found you back!"

Meredith giggled and rested her head satisfyingly on Derek's chest. "I guess, we have some catching up to do!"


	10. These Dreams

**_Chapter 11 These Dreams..._**

With a smile, Meredith let her fingers glide over the embroidered letters on her new, white doctor's coat; _**Meredith Grey M.D**_. She carefully hung the coat over a dress hanger and started undressing. Reaching for a new pair of light blue scrubs, she pulled them on, tying the drawstring securely around her slightly protruding belly. She laced up her favorite sneakers with steady hands, slowly preparing herself with a renewed and reassuring certainty; being one of Seattle Grace's residents again. Finally, she put on the doctor's coat, attaching the identification badge to the front and hanging a stethoscope around her neck. When she was completely ready, she opened the door of the locker room and rode the elevator to the fourth, surgical floor. When she got off, she stopped one of the passing interns in the hallway.

"Excuse me…where can I find the Chief Resident?"

"OR 4."

"What's his name?" Meredith yelled over her shoulder as she began up the hall.

"_Her_ name…," the intern responded with a slight grimace. "…Doctor Yang…Doctor Cristina Yang."

"Of course, Cristina…," Meredith repeated softly to herself. Cristina had been her best friend during their first years of internship and residency but strangely enough after Meredith moval to Boston, they had lost all contact unlike George, Alex and Izzie.

Meredith proceeded to OR 4 and punched the button to open the automatic door that led to the scrub room. She slowed down her pace because she definitely wouldn't look good if she burst into the OR like a crazy person. Tucking her hair under a surgical cap, she flinched slightly as the tight knot caught several strands of her hair in it. Holding a surgical mask in front of her mouth, she took in a deep breath before stepping into the OR room.

Inside, Cristina looked up from the table where a patient was being prepped for surgery. Over the mask, Meredith's eyes brightened. "Hi Cristina, "she said softly. "…The Chief told me to report to the Chief resident…_so here I am_!"

"Oh…OK! Doctor Grey, would you please step closer to the table?"

Meredith frowned at Cristina's serious voice but stepped closer nevertheless.

"This is an interesting surgery…," Cristina began to her interns. "Right hemothorax…can I leave this one up to you, Doctor Grey?" Meredith gave Cristina a brief glance before her eyes darted back to the patient on the operating table. "Sure," Meredith answered simply. "Just give me some time to scrub in!" A couple of hours later, Meredith stood outside the intensive care unit, watching her patient through the window. He was still on mechanical ventilation but the surgery had gone excellent.

"Why didn't you let me know you were coming back?" came a hesitant voice from behind Meredith. Meredith turned and faced Cristina, shrugging her shoulders. "I dunno Cristina…all I know is that I've found happiness again here in Seattle…_with Derek_!" For a moment, Meredith studied Cristina's face. "I'm glad for you both," Cristina replied while turning to walk away. "Oh…and Meredith, you did OK in the OR!"

Meredith smiled. "Coming from you…I'll take that as a compliment!" Meredith watched how Cristina walked away, looking straight ahead without a backward glance. _Would she and Cristina ever grow as close as before_? Meredith shrugged her shoulders and with a slightly sad smile, she wandered down the hallway in the opposite direction.

*** * ***

After the first eight hours of her shift, Meredith settled herself comfortably on one of the beds in the on call room closing her eyes. Letting the soft music of a radio that was playing in the nearby nurses station gently lull her to sleep, she thought of today's surgery. She'd really rocked that one, she smiled while she slowly drifted off.

………**.**

_The cold wind almost took her breath away. Meredith looked around. A snowy storm raged around her but there was no sign of Laura. Meredith bit her bottom lip but ignored the cold on her body. Where was her daughter? Meredith glanced around frantically but the woods were dark and the coldness almost made her loose consciousness. She slowly started feeling desperate; Where was Laura? _

"_**Meredith**_…?"

_A soft voice called her but Meredith was reluctant to leave. She had to find Laura. Wasn't that her? There between the trees? A crucial urgency drove Meredith forward but before she could reach her daughter, she disappeared again. _

"_**Meredith…wake up**_."

_Meredith felt a light touch on her shoulder but rolled from it. She couldn't leave…she had to find Laura. _

"_**Mere…you're having a nightmare…please wake up**_!"

Fighting to leaving the depths of sleep behind Meredith suddenly sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. She buried her face in her hands and waited for the nightmare to recede. Slowly, she felt how her heartbeat turned to normal. Izzie's hand on her back also soothed the emotions that were now rolling inside her.

"Was it bad?" Izzie asked. Meredith cupped her face in her hands again and took in a deep breath. Her body shook with emotions that were flowing through her. "Oh Iz…I couldn't find Laura anywhere!" Meredith shivered and Izzie shook her head.

"Laura's just fine. She's staying with her grandparents. Everything's fine!"

"I know…I guess, I just miss her," Meredith mumbled emotionally.

Izzie smiled understandingly. "It's those damn hormones…they make you soooo emotional. I swear I've never cried so much in my life as the last seven months!"

Izzie's dramatic expression elicited a relaxing giggle from Meredith and she quickly wiped away her tears. She looked up at Iz and then her gaze travelled lower to Izzie's pregnant belly. Even at seven months pregnant, Izzie was beautiful. Her golden skin glowed with a sunny flush and her extra weight only served to flatter her natural curves. Izzie followed Meredith's gaze and she smiled, sitting down next to Meredith. "I swear my belly will never be flat again!" Meredith felt her lips curving up in a wicked fashion.

"_What_?" Izzie breathed.

Meredith felt her cheeks blush as blood rushed to her face. She cleared her throat. "Uhm…is…is it normal to have so much sex when you're pregnant. I seem insatiable…I just can't get enough of it…not that Derek minds…I was just wondering," Meredith rambled, slightly embarrassed.

A little giggle escaped Izzie's lips. "I thought I was the only one having so much sex…it has to be all that blood flowing to our sexual organs!" Izzie stood shrugging her shoulders. "Just enjoy it as long as it lasts Meredith…there's nothing wrong with having lots and lots of sex! You coming?" Meredith nodded and stood, straightening her scrubs. She followed Izzie into the hallway. Her first shift was far from being over.

*** * ***

"And…tired? Derek asked tenderly while he lifted the covers to lie down next to Meredith. She nodded, even though she knew, Derek could hardly see her in the dark. "Yeah…but today was awesome. Cristina gave me this surgery…and I rocked…it!" An enormous yawn interrupted Meredith's words as she felt her eighteen hour shift catch up to her. Even with her stomach rumbling, she felt like she could easily fall asleep, preferably in Derek's arms. Meredith couldn't suppress another yawn and covered her mouth politely with one hand when Derek propped himself up on one elbow, listening.

Meredith's stomach rumbled ominously and he laid his free hand across her swollen belly. "Haven't you eaten?" Derek asked, his voice sounding stern. Meredith sighed silently. "I was too tired to even think about it!" Meredith bit her bottom lip, expecting some kind of sermon but Derek lifted the covers and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

"Where are you going?" Meredith asked with a small voice. Derek leaned down, kissing the top of Meredith's nose, smiling as she giggled lightly. "I'm going to fix you something to eat!" he said tenderly, kissing Meredith's forehead when she eagerly nodded.

No more than ten minutes later, Derek returned with a tray piled high with sandwiches and a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice.

………**. **

"Mmm…this is good," Meredith mumbled as she shoved the last sandwich into her mouth. A small grin grew on Derek's face as he slowly shook his head. "Had enough?"

A "yes" formed in Meredith's mouth but before she could speak, Derek's lips landed on hers for a kiss. When he pulled back he looked in Meredith's eyes. "Promise me…you'll take better care of yourself?" Searching for a promise in her eyes, she curled her bottom lip and worried it with her teeth. Derek's blue gaze dropped to watch Meredith abuse her lip. The muscles in his jaw tightened and he slowly lifted a finger to caress her lips. "Promise me?"

Meredith tightened her arms around Derek's neck. "I promise," she whispered. The soft cotton of her nightgown slipped higher as she slid against Derek and he felt her bare skin against his arms. Derek softly moaned, pushing himself against her. She lay half upon him, the loose strap of her nightgown sliding off her shoulder. She looked up at Derek, her eyes soft and a tender expression on her face. When she licked her lips, the shine was enough to make Derek lean toward her…hungrily. His arms came around her waist and he pulled her to him. This time their kiss was hot and deep and long. After, Derek pushed himself back a little and pulled at his shirt. He threw it to the floor and pushed the strap of Meredith's nightgown until it fell from her shoulder.

She tilted her head back, her eyes nearly falling shut as Derek tenderly caressed her sensitive breast. His long fingers curled around it, rolling her nipple gently between thumb and forefinger. The soft peach colored peak became tight under his touch and Meredith sighed, her fingers threading through Derek's hair as he bent his head to tease her with his tongue. He took the hem of her nightgown in his hands and slid it high above her swollen belly. His hands moved over her waist, the softness of her hips and the rounded smoothness of her buttocks. Meredith's hand slid lower until she was able to take his length in her hand. "Mmm," she moaned, her fingers closing over him. Derek arched involuntarily, pushing into her tightening grip. With a noise of impatience he pulled at Meredith's nightgown until they were both naked. He leaned in, kissing Meredith again, letting his fingers trail over the skin of her thighs and move to the soft cleft between them. He gently stroked her and then drew one finger lower until he found her most sensitive place. Meredith made a long, soft sound. Her hand moved to cover his and press it even closer. He circled his fingertip over the little bud and felt Meredith's hips move in time. Her head fell against his shoulder and he pressed her to him more tightly, feeling her riding the rhythmic caress of his hand until she finally began to gasp, her body shuddering. When she became quiet, Derek tenderly stroked her hair and held her to him. Meredith kissed him as she slowly crawled up to straddle him. As her arms went around his neck, his hot breath touched her ear and Meredith slowly lowered herself, easing his arousal into her.

Derek was almost lightheaded at Meredith's sweet tightness. She sat up straight and he ran his hands down her sides to her hips. For a moment, they stayed still, both savoring the sensation then Meredith started to rock up and down him. Derek could see the excitement on her face as he watched her moving up and down. It aroused him even more, seeing himself disappearing inside her. Meredith was more beautiful than ever with her full, sensitive breasts and swollen belly.

She rode him, first at slow but after a while, he drove his hips upward to meet her pace. Unknown sensations ran through their bodies and Meredith's steady, unrelenting movements entranced Derek. As their pace quickened even more, she began to moan softly.

"God…Meredith…," Derek groaned, his hands cupping her breasts, tracing her ribs, holding her hips. "I love what you're doing to me…," Derek moved his hand between them where their bodies joined and Meredith's breath shortened to gasps. She rose and fell slowly over him, her thighs trembling. They were both moaning now and Derek met her thrusts as her pace quickened. They were both moving frantically together, moaning each other's names with whatever breath they managed to take. Meredith flung her head back as her entire body convulsed, and she felt Derek's warmth within her, as he followed her into oblivion. Moments later, they collapsed together, unable to move, barely able to breathe. For many minutes they lay still, allowing their bodies to come to rest.

After a while, Meredith heard his voice. "You're beautiful when we make love!"

"What?" she breathed.

"You get this incredible look on your face…," Derek said tenderly.

Meredith giggled as she snuggled closer to Derek. "Thank you…I guess," she mumbled. Derek grinned and they kissed…again and again. Lips against lips…tongue against tongue. When they finally drifted off to sleep, wrapped in each other's arms, surrounded by each other's warmth, their hearts beat simultaneously.

*** * ***

Meredith glanced over her shoulder so she could see Laura in her car seat in the back. A tender smile played upon her lips as she watched the sleeping girl.

"Are you happy?" Derek asked, tenderly placing a gentle kiss on the back of Meredith's hand.

"Very," Meredith murmured, stealing an arm around Derek's neck and kissing him briefly on the cheek. As they drove on silently, a question formed in Derek's mind. He glanced at Meredith briefly. She raised an eyebrow on him and smiled. "There's something on your mind…isn't there?"

"You can tell?" Derek asked quietly.

Meredith nodded. "You get this look on your face!"

Derek sighed almost inaudibly, looked out the window, and then back at Meredith. "Have you ever thought about telling her…," He nodded his head backwards at Laura. Meredith swallowed hard and closed her eyes for a moment. The walls she'd built around herself and Laura slowly began to crumble. "I'm afraid to," she whispered her voice breaking with emotion. Derek was struck by the sudden sadness in her eyes and pulled over to the side of the road. He cupped her cheek with his hand and used his thumb to wipe some of her tears away. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to upset you."

Meredith shook her head and a small smile curved her lips. "It's Ok Derek. I know have to tell Laura eventually." Derek reached out his arms and enveloped Meredith in a hug. She held him tighter and gazed over his shoulder at Laura. She thought about what Derek had said and the emotions she felt when she was close to him. His arms that were currently holding her…the arms that had been holding her every night since she'd returned from Boston…and then Meredith breathed a contented sigh. She wouldn't have to do this alone…Derek would always be there for her, Laura and their unborn child.

*** * ***

Sitting on the porch of Meredith's house, Laura gazed up at the stars trying desperately not to fall asleep but it wasn't easy. The air was warm and light, the stars looked pretty and her mom's arms felt safe around her.

"Did you have fun at your grandparent's house?" Meredith asked softly as Laura kept staring at the stars.

"Mmmm," Laura mumbled. "…but I like it here more!" Meredith laughed as she cuddled the small girl in her lap. Laura was so sweet, so very innocent…and yet…so wise. Memories of Molly played in Meredith's mind as she briefly considered telling Laura the truth about her parents.

Meredith sighed as she sat up. "It's getting late Laura…I'll take you to bed OK!"

"Ah…one bedtime story? OK mommy…just one story?" Laura begged as she continued staring at the sky. For a moment, Meredith hesitated but then she began to tell her Laura a story; A story about a sweet, young woman who fell in love with a handsome prince.

"Molly's a pretty name…," Laura mumbled sleepily after a while. She yawned as she forced her eyes to stay open but with little effort. "What happened next to Molly?"

Meredith sat up straight, offering Laura a warm smile. "I will continue the story tomorrow…now it's time for bed…little lady!"

"OK mommy," Laura's little fingers intertwined with Meredith's as they all walked into the house.

Laura rested her head on Derek's shoulder, one arm hugging his neck as she held on to her favorite teddy bear. The long drive from the airport had made her content and sleepy. While Meredith changed Laura into her pajamas, she kissed her on the forehead then Derek picked her up and laid her in bed. "Sweet dreams," Meredith whispered softly with another tender look at her daughter. Derek smiled, took Meredith's hand and led her out of the bedroom.

In their own bedroom, Meredith bent over and pulled open a dresser drawer. She reached in and took out a nightshirt before she went into the bathroom to change. Meanwhile Derek stood in the shower. Meredith listened to the water as she prepared to brush her teeth, the sound of the streaming water hitting the tile floor. For a moment, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. _Had it been the right choice to tell Laura about Molly_? Meredith sighed and quickly brushed her teeth. Her reflection in the mirror suddenly blurred by the steam coming from behind the glass shower door but the water cut off and the shower door opened and shut.

"What's with you? You're so quiet" Derek asked softly as he pressed a kiss in Meredith's neck. "Mmm…it's nothing," Meredith mumbled turning her head away from Derek. Derek's eyebrows rose but he said nothing. Meredith crawled into bed. She lay on her back with her arms crossed over her chest, pinning down the covers. Silently, she stared at the ceiling while Derek got in bed beside her. Looking straight into Meredith's eyes, he kissed her softly on the lips and then her forehead.

"Why don't you tell me what's going on?" Derek asked in a gentle voice. He placed his free hand over Meredith's belly and stroked up and down in a comforting motion. Meredith sighed and leaned into his embrace. Derek kissed the top of Meredith's head as it came to rest against his chest. "I…I can't…not now Derek," Meredith whispered while she snuggled into his arms. Derek started gently rubbing Meredith's back until she completely relaxed in his embrace. Soon her even breathing filtered through the room and Derek closed his eyes too, content to lie there with the love of his life safely in his arms.

*** * ***

_M__eredith__gasped in pain. Contractions were coming fast and furious. Outside Seattle Grace Hospital, thunder crashed and rain hit hard against the windows. Seattle was in the throes of the worst storm ever and the severe weather seemed to mirror the anxiety on Bailey's face as she hovered over Meredith. "Not much longer now, Meredith", she whispered. "Don't give up….we need you to keep pushing".  
"No more", Meredith pleaded; her tongue flicking out to moisten her dry lips. "Please. I...I can't do this anymore."  
Wiping the sweat from Meredith's forehead, Bailey spoke words of encouragement: "Sure you can! Come on Meredith. You're doing excellent."  
A wave of pain swept over Meredith again and she bit her lip to keep from crying out. Tears streamed out of her eyes. "Where's Derek? Why isn't he here"?_

_"Derek will be here soon. The storm probably held him up. Try not to worry, Meredith, just concentrate on your breathing"._

_Something was wrong…terribly wrong__! Meredith sensed it. She had been in labour all night. The baby should have been born by now. And Derek…where in God's name was he? Meredith had never felt so alone, so frightened. With an effort, she lifted herself on her elbows, but she couldn't see anything. A screen had been situated across her bed, shielding herself from the doctor who worked to deliver the baby. Exhausted, Meredith fell back against the pillows. "Why is that screen there?" She asked Cristina who stood at her bedside. "What's wrong? Why can't I see?"  
"Everything's fine, Doctor Grey…just relax," Cristina said calmly._

"_But I…," Meredith started to protest when another contraction swept over her and the pain intensified to an almost unbearable level. Cristina left Meredith's side and hurried behind the screen to consult with the gynaecologist and Bailey. Their murmured voices sounded worried and panic exploded inside Meredith. She shrieked in fear. _

_*** * ***_

The cry jolted her out of her nightmare and Meredith shot up straight in bed, her body covered in cold sweat. She dragged her fingers through her hair, trying to make sense of the lucid dream she had just experienced. Clutching the blanket for comfort, she looked around. Stars were still scattered through the night sky as she stole a glance at Derek who was still sound asleep, undisturbed by her cry.

"_D…Derek_?" Meredith's voice quivered after that terrible nightmare. She just needed to hear the comforting sound of his voice. There was a sob caught in Meredith's throat as she heard his familiar voice behind her.

"_Meredith_…? What's wrong?"

Letting out a shuttered sigh, Meredith closed her eyes, the memories of her nightmare still looming fresh in her mind.

"Mere…?"

Meredith realized Derek had sat up right next to her, wrapping his arms around her. Feeling the warmth of his arms around her, she let out a relieved sigh. A tear moistened her closed eyes as she rested her head against his shoulder.

"I…I had a nightmare," she said softly while her body shook. _Damn pregnancy hormones_. She'd really become a basket case these days.

"Shhh…I'm here," Derek whispered as he pulled Meredith closer. A tear trickled down her cheek as she wrapped her arms around him. "I love you Derek…so much," she said, her voice whispery with emotions.

"I love you too," Derek smiled.

The baby kicked under Derek's hands and his face relaxed into a smile. "He's active tonight too…isn't he?" Derek moved his hand under Meredith's shirt. He pulled it upward until her belly was bared. His fingers smoothed reverently over the soft skin then he bent down to press his lips to the small bump just underneath Meredith's ribs. Struck by his tenderness, Meredith started to cry…heavy sobs that caused her body to shake.

"Hey…what's this? Why the crying?" Derek asked while he pulled Meredith even closer.

"It's nothing…it's stupid." she hiccupped.

"I'm sure it's not."

Derek slowly shook his head. He couldn't figure out what Meredith was thinking. She'd always been good at hiding her feelings. He held her close and stroked her hair, trying to comfort her in anyway possible. Finally she looked up with teary eyes. "I just feel like I'm that stupid intern again…I'm so scared." Derek took Meredith's face in his hands and kissed her with all the love he had inside.

"What are you afraid of…?" It suddenly swept over Derek what she feared.

"It's Laura…isn't it?" he softly asked.

"I don't know how to do THIS." It just burst from Meredith uncontrollably. She twisted her small hands together in her lap. "I'm trying…God knows I'm trying but…, "Meredith shook her head. "I know I have to tell Laura the truth about her parents but I don't know how…? I've tried to tonight but what if…," Meredith started crying again. "…and on top of it all I have to tell her about you and the baby…God, Derek, I'm so scared."

A tender smile curved Derek's lips as he drew Meredith into his arms. "You silly girl…you keep forgetting you're not alone anymore…we're in this together, you know?" They clung together and Derek felt Meredith's wet face against his own. She was still crying a little. After a while, she looked up at Derek with red, teary eyes but a small, hesitant smile curving her lips as she met his gaze. Derek's blue eyes followed the line of Meredith's cheek, the curve of her lips, and the sweep of her brow all in one glance. "Just remember…you'll never be alone again," he murmured, brushing some strands of hair from her face. He buried his face in Meredith's shoulder, smelling deeply of her hair and skin.

"Tomorrow…I will explain everything to Laura…," Meredith began slowly but Derek promptly shushed her with a finger to her lips.

"Shhh…don't think about tomorrow…we have all the time in the world Mere…Laura is only four years old. She's too young to understand what happened to her parents. We can tell her about us…and the baby though," Derek said softly. Meredith sniffed but then kissed Derek, at first sweetly but soon with more passion. When she pulled away from Derek, she hugged her head to his shoulder and whispered, "I need you Derek."

Derek nodded silently. He trailed his lips along Meredith's neck and shoulder, pulling down the strap of her bra before his kisses. He moved his hands down the sides of her ribs and over her breasts, his fingers following the tiny line of lace on the edges of her bra. Meredith watched Derek work slowly and she felt his hot breath on the skin of her breasts before she registered that he'd bared her. Meredith softly moaned and closed her eyes, revelling in the touch of his hands and mouth on her. Derek alternated with licks and kisses as he moved down to Meredith's waist. He pulled a little on Meredith's panties and she lifted her legs to make the job easier. She felt the soft material slip over her feet and then Derek's lips tracing the curve of her leg, from her ankle all the way up to her inner thigh. She moaned again, rubbing her palms over her thighs and Derek let out a soft growl. He lowered himself between Meredith's legs, pressing the evidence of his arousal against her. He leaned down and kissed Meredith, their tongues dancing playfully. Finally she took in a deep breath and pushed Derek away so she could climb onto his lap. She tossed her long hair back and settled her arms on his shoulders, poising her hips just above Derek's. She closed her eyes and moved slowly down on Derek, feeling his arousal press against her entrance. She bit her bottom lip and Derek nuzzled her neck. "God…you're hot," Derek moaned passionately. He stayed still, waiting for Meredith to give him a sign that it was alright but he was rapidly losing the battle. She felt tight and wet and Derek had to concentrate not to lose control in the first moments. Meredith swallowed hard and grabbed Derek's shoulders. She slowly let him in further and further, until there was no space left between them. "Oh…yesss," Meredith hissed while Derek placed his hands on her hips. He sucked in a sharp breath, his muscles tense. Meredith rose up just a little bit, using her grip on his shoulders as leverage, and then she plunged down. Derek found her rhythm and rocked with her…slowly at first but then with more urgency. They both started gasping for air, from both their effort and arousal and soon they were hitting a crescendo, each one bringing the other higher until Derek could barely think straight anymore.

"Ohh…Mere…," Derek moaned hoarsely, her name the only thought he could articulate. He gripped her waist and watched her body writhe on top of him. It caused him to buck his hips and he came on a sudden gasp.

"Oh…God…yesss," Meredith groaned, feeling Derek pulse inside her. She rocked back and forth with enough force to make the bed creak.

Derek watched Meredith, his fogged brain, hypnotized by her sight. She sat on top of him, frozen in a long, orgasmic moment. Finally, she gave a low, tired moan and fell on top of him. She rested her head on Derek's chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath her cheek. She felt him pull out of her and she rolled to her side. When Derek settled down next to her, she snuggled up next to him and rested her head on his chest. Derek propped one hand behind his head and began to stroke Meredith's hair with the other. He kissed her temple and breathed deeply of her.

"Mere…," he whispered tenderly.

"Yes?" Meredith responded, rubbing her cheek against him.

Derek fumbled over the words that seemed to come almost unbidden from his mouth. "I want us to get married!"

Meredith raised her head and gave him a quizzical look and for a moment Derek could have slapped himself for being so forthright. She was far from being ready for marriage but to his surprise, she gave him a slow smile.

"Good," she said quietly. "Because I'd love to be your wife!" She cuddled closer to Derek and sighed against his chest. The two of them drifted off into sleep, lulled by the synchronized beating of their hearts…


	11. Don't Go Breaking My Heart

**Authors' note: I'm sorry you haven't heard from me in a while. The previous chapters I've posted where already finished so I need to write some new material. On top of everything my computer crashed…and…need I say more? ****I want to thank you for your lovely comments and I will try to update regularly. Wishing you also all the best for 2010!**

**McJinx**

**Chapter 11 Don't Go Breaking My Heart…**

Meredith lay in the half light of the bedroom, the sheets barely covering her pregnant belly as she watched Derek sleep. As he stirred, she could make out the outline of his features, glowing dark-blue from the rays of moonlight that crept in through the curtains. It was still a few hours from sunrise but Meredith had awoken early. She reminisced about getting up but then decided to give sleep another try. She rolled onto her side and molded her shape to Derek's, appreciating the warmth radiating from his body. A few hours later, Meredith awoke again when something brushed her cheek. She opened her eyes and found Derek – head in his palm – watching her sleep with a smile curling at his lips. She smiled as he leaned closer to place another kiss on her cheek and then burying his head into her shoulder and breathing in her hair. His strong hand lay over her protruding stomach as he rolled over in the sheets to be even closer to her.

"I have one of my check-ups planned today," Meredith softly said as Derek started caressing her belly. Derek sat up in swift movement and looked down on her, "How late?"

"Half past two."

Derek let out a frustrated moan and dropped back on the bed. Then he rolled over to Meredith, an apologetic look on his face, "I'm sorry…I can't join you," he softly said. "They've scheduled that aneurysm I've told you about."

"It's OK," Meredith smiled, "It's only a check-up…no biggy."

Derek hugged Meredith and whispered in her ear, "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Meredith smiled, lightly rubbing Derek's stomach under his shirt. He responded by caressing her face, gazing at her peaceful expression.

*** * ***

_Twenty-six weeks…_

Meredith lay on the examination table, craning her neck to see the grainy image on the screen beside her while her gynecologist rolled the ultrasound sensor over her swelling belly.

"Look, that's the spine you can see here and that's…," the gynecologist's eyes narrowed as he leaned closer to the screen.  
"_What_?" Meredith breathed.

The gynecologist stared at Meredith for a few seconds and then he turned to grab a towel to wipe her belly.

"Er…Can you sit up, Meredith?"

Slowly…very slowly, Meredith removed her feet from the stirrups, first the right and then the left. She slid her body to the edge of the examination table and placed both feet on the ground. Something in the gynecologist's voice had caused her to shiver and she was sure that something was dreadfully wrong.

"Is something wrong with my baby?" she swallowed hard.

"Please…take a seat Meredith."

Meredith couldn't help the tears that suddenly started to build up from her eyes, "Please, tell me what's wrong," she stammered...

The gynecologist took in a deep breath, "Your baby is too small for the duration of the pregnancy, Meredith…and I don't like the fact that you have been losing weight instead of gaining it. If things continue the way they are, I'm going to have to insist you go on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy. Further I'd like to supplement your nutritional needs with injections."

"Why injections?" Meredith asked, her voice sounding small caused by her animosity against injections.

"Because if you take them orally, they can cause nausea and throwing up, won't be doing you much good in the weight thing," the gynecologist smiled.

"I can see your point," Meredith grimaced.

"OK! I want you back here in two weeks to check your and the baby's weight. If anything else comes up, you should come in immediately."

Meredith slowly stood, her eyes slightly watering as she shook the gynecologist's hand, "Thank you."

The gynecologist nodded, "I'll see you in two weeks Meredith…and don't worry too much. I'm sure, we've caught this thing in time. Oh…and I'll have the injections delivered to your house this afternoon."

*** * ***

Derek sat down on the edge of the chair, bent down and kissed Meredith's forehead. She opened her eyes and smiled, "Hey."

"Hi…Ready to go home?"

Meredith nodded and walked beside Derek to the parking lot.

"Are you OK?"

"Why?"

"You're awfully quiet," Derek said as he grabbed Meredith's hand.

Meredith took in a deep breath and let it out, then she continued, "It's the baby…it's too small."

"What do you mean?"

Meredith let out a sigh. "I'm twenty-six weeks pregnant but the baby is too small for the duration of my pregnancy…and I've lost weight instead of gaining it."

Derek swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. After a few moments, Meredith continued, "If I don't gain enough weight, he'll put me on complete bed rest." A single tear slid down Meredith's face. Derek halted and pulled Meredith closer to him. He dropped a kiss on her forehead and then laid his cheek on top of Meredith's head. "Shhh, everthing's gonna be OK."

* * *

Meredith sat on the bed, lost in thought when Derek entered with a tray, "You should eat something!"

Meredith looked up, swallowing hard, "I really can't Derek. I won't be able to keep anything down. Tomorrow I'll eat…I promise."

Derek gave her a look of concern but nodded, "OK but I have the supplements your gynecologist sent over. Do you want me to give you the injection?"

Meredith nodded, pulling up her sleeve.

"Put your arm out…I'll be gentle," Derek smiled as he watched the horrific look on Meredith's face. She bit down on her lower lip and tasted blood as she watched the tip of the needle slide into her skin.

"Ouch!"

"There…all done," Derek smiled as he withdrew the needle and gently put a band-aid on Meredith's arm, "That wasn't so bad…was it?" When Meredith didn't respond, Derek leaned over, slipping a hand under her chin and drawing her head up to meet his blue eyes. His gaze was so intense, so direct, Meredith felt as if he looked directly into her soul. She shook her head and buried her face in her hands, suddenly sobbing uncontrollably. Derek sighed, pulling away Meredith's hands from her face, "Shhh…it's OK." In an impulse of tenderness, he lifted her to her feet and held her.

"I…I'm s…so scared. I should have listened to you. You said I had to take better care of myself…and o..our baby," she finally hiccupped between soft, heart-wrenching sobs.

"Mere….come on. This isn't your fault. Stop being so hard on yourself," Derek said reassuringly as he kissed the top of Meredith's head.

"_M'mmy…mommy_?"

Through Meredith's soft sobs, Derek heard the muffled voice of Laura at the back of the house.

"It's Laura…she's awake!"

Meredith quickly wiped away the tears that burned her eyes and freed herself from Derek's embrace but to her surprise, he stopped her, "It's OK…I'll go to her." Meredith nodded, breathing out a shaky breath in relief. When Derek had left the bedroom, she walked into the bathroom to splash some cold water on her face and get ready for the night.

*** * ***

Derek woke the next morning, the sound of running water in his ears. He sat up, stretched and then headed into the bathroom. Meredith was in the shower, hot water running down her naked back when he closed the door. She heard the door click shut and invitingly slid open the shower door, "Join me?" Derek nodded, quickly undressing before stepping into the shower stall. Inside, he wrapped his arms lazily around Meredith, welcoming the stream of water as it cascaded over their bodies, "How are you feeling today?"

Derek glanced at Meredith and when she turned in his arms, the light caught her eyes and it was almost as if they sparkled like stars in the sky. _God, how much he loved her_! A soft moan escaped him when he leaned in and kissed her. When they pulled apart, they were both breathing hard.

"That definitely makes me feel better?" Meredith smiled tenderly, reaching up and touching Derek's face.

He caught her hand, his expression suddenly more serious, "Just promise me one thing Mere!"

"_What_?"

"Promise me…you'll take it easy. Get off your feet from time to time and take time to eat. I'm keeping my eyes on you!"

Meredith nodded quietly, understanding Derek's question and concern. She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him one last time before getting out of the shower.

*** * ***

"OK…what do you have for me?" Meredith asked as she entered the ER. As the trauma surgeon on call, she'd been summoned from an on call room. She'd barely had any rest all day when her pager had sounded.

"Fifteen-year-old male with acute abdominal pain in his right lower quadrant," Lexie said rapidly, "Elevated white count and acute nausea indicates appendicitis. He's in cubicle three!"

"OK…let's have a look," Meredith swept her hair back into a rubber band and quickly washed her hands before approaching the young patient. She glanced at the chart. "Johnny? My name is Dr. Grey and I'm here to evaluate you for possible surgery."

"Johnny glanced up at Meredith, his brown eyes full of pain and an unmistakable hint of fear, "Doc, you have to help me. My stomach hurts so bad!"

"I will," Meredith promised, placing a reassuring hand on Johnny's arm, scanning his vital signs before sending Lexie a sharp glance, "Has he been given anything for the pain yet?"

Lexie nodded, "I gave him 4 of morphine, twenty minutes ago."

"I think we'd better give him another dose," Meredith said sternly. Lexie nodded and proceeded to give Johnny another dose of morphine as Meredith continued to examine her patient.

"Lexie…have you performed any scans?" Meredith asked when she finished her physical exam.

"No…I thought I'd wait to see what you required."

Meredith gave an absent nod, when she realized she could go either way; A CT scan would be OK but given Johnny's young age and the elevated white count, she was fairly certain, Lexie's diagnosis was correct. The CT scan would be a waste of time and she didn't want a delay to cause Johhny's inflamed appendix to burst.

"OK…take him to OR three!"

Meredith placed the chart on the bed and helped push Johnny's gurney upstairs. As they reached the OR, she left Johnny in Lexie's capable hands while she took time to scrub in. Meredith finished operating on Johnny, thankfully catching his engorged appendix before it ruptured, only to receive another trauma call. Wryly preparing herself for a long day, minus any rest, Meredith hurried back to the ER.

"What's going on?" she asked, stepping into the Er. There was a lot of blood surrounding the male patient lying on the gurney and with a quick glance, she could access he was bleeding from his head, nose and mouth, not to mention the places she couldn't see. Two nurses pumped blood and fluid on a level-one rapid infuser while another one scurried to get blood for additional lab work.

"He took a swan dive off the roof of his parents' two-story house, leaving behind a suicide note. He hit the concrete driveway from an estimated distance of twenty feet," the Paramedic stated.

"Lexie…he needs to get to an OR, _**stat**_," Meredith yelled when she noticed her younger sister, ignoring the worried expression on Lexie's face, "He's losing blood faster than we can pump it in and I'm certain, he's bleeding internally."

Lexie shook her head but followed Meredith to the OR-section, "Doesn't he need a neuro consult?"

"NO…he needs to get to the OR immediately," Meredith snapped. Lexie turned and ran off in the opposite direction, "I'm calling Derek."

Meredith bit her bottom lip but continued pushing the gurney to the OR. Inside, she glanced at the scrub nurse, "Hook him up to the monitor…quickly!" The scrub nurse set up the monitor while Meredith inserted a needle into the patient's muscle.

"We're losing blood pressure," one of the nurses warned Meredith, "Do you want more blood or saline?"

"Both!" Meredith snapped as she ran into the wash room to scrub. Her adrenaline started pumping, heightening her awareness as she prepared quickly for surgery. When Meredith entered the OR, she noticed the patient's condition wasn't any better. In fact, if anything, he looked worse. Feeling slightly sick to her stomach, Meredith asked for a ten-blade scalpel. First she started on the young man's abdomen and when she saw he had a severely fractured kidney, she knew things were worse than she'd feared. She took the damaged kidney out but the bleeding was profuse. She could barely see where the source of the bleeding was coming from in the sea of blood.

"We're losing him," the anesthesiologist, warned. "I can't sustain his blood pressure."

"Keep trying," Meredith said, praying she could find the source of his bleeder. Sweat dampened the back of her scrubs, running down the sides of her face. She tried to tackle one emergency at a time.  
"Blood pressure is gone, he's in PEA."  
"No!" Meredith didn't so much as glance at the heart monitor, keeping her gaze focused on what she was doing. One more stitch and she'd have the artery closed off. Then she could take a look at his spleen. Maybe that was the other major source of his bleeding.  
Finishing with the artery, she quickly switched the focus of her exploration on the area of his spleen, cutting the artery in an effort to minimize the blood loss. But once the artery was open, she realized the blood wasn't pulsing at all, but simply oozing at a slow rate.  
Horrified, she glanced up at the monitor, realizing it was too late.

"Didn't you hear me, Doctor Grey?" the anesthesiologist asked. "I said he's gone."

Meredith momentarily squeezed her eyes closed and dropped her chin to her chest. She hadn't heard…hadn't wanted to believe what her professional eyes were telling her. After taking a moment to compose herself, she lifted her head and glanced at the clock. "**Time of death; 14.32**."

When Meredith dropped the scalpel and stepped away from the operating table, a spasm of pain shot through her. She slowly walked to the OR wall and leaned against it. She groaned as a new pain arose. The scrub nurse was at her side in a matter of seconds, "Are you OK Doctor Grey?"

The pain subsided and Meredith gave her a weak smile, "It's OK…it's just…" Meredith winced as another pain shot through her. This time it was lower and an urge to push came with it. She looked up at the scrub nurse, panic in her eyes, "Don't leave me…it's my baby!"

"_Meredith_?"

Derek rushed inside the OR, scooping up Meredith and carrying her to an exam room, "Get a gynecologist in here," he snapped at a nurse. He laid Meredith down gently as she tensed in pain again.

"Oh…God, please help me?...My baby...!"

**To be continued… **


	12. As Tears Go By

**As Tears Go By**

Meredith screamed…she just couldn't help it. The pain tore through her body as if she was being cut in half. Sweat trickled down her face and she panted so hard, she could barely take in air. She looked around the room wildly.

"Mer…listen to me!"

Meredith licked her cracked and bleeding lips but during the next violent contraction, she screamed at the top of her lungs again.

"NOOOOOO…!"

Out of the blackness that forced her sight into tunnel vision, she saw a face come nearer. Lips moved but she could hear nothing over the roaring pain that blocked her ears. As the contraction slowly receded, her vision cleared and her hearing returned.

"You have to breathe, "Derek begged. "Please…breathe…!"

Meredith groaned but tried to focus on Derek's voice. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her gynecologist. He quickly snapped on latex gloves and she could tell, he muttered under his breath. He kneeled between her legs and she felt his probe and touch. When he looked up at her over her belly, his gaze was rather timid and apologetic, "I'm sorry Meredith but I'm afraid I can't stop the contractions…you're baby's coming!"

"B…but it's too soon," Meredith gazed terrified at Derek but with the next contraction, her vision shrunk to a pinpoint and she became lost in the seemingly endless and agonizing rhythm of preterm labor.

**………**

The quiet woke Meredith. The usual murmur of noise in the delivery room was gone and she felt terribly confused. When she tried to move, she felt like a giant bruise. Finally, she managed to force her eyes open and a thin, watery, pale light fell upon her. She blinked again and the room slowly swayed into focus. She was lying on her left side, facing the window and blinds, half drawn, revealed a grey, wet day in the world outside. Her fingers gripped the rough open weave of the cotton blanket covering her and she felt she was bleeding. For a moment, she wondered why…and then, with a sickening crash and a blinding snap, it all came back to her. She tried to push it away, tried desperately to find the oblivion of unconsciousness again but she couldn't. Her mouth opened in a silent, anguished wail and tears started to course down her cheeks to fall and soak into the cotton pillowcase. She tried to pull up her knees but the pads between her legs and the pain all got in the way. Then, footsteps neared and a hand softly caressed her hair, rubbing her shoulder and stroking her cheek, wiping away the tears.

Meredith cried and Derek held her, his heart also broken and shattered. A lifetime seemed to pass when the door to Meredith's room finally opened and Miranda Bailey pushed in a wheeled cart. She reached the bedside and Derek helped Meredith sit up. The pain tore through her but she could deal with the physical, it was the agony that ripped through her heart and soul, she was powerless against.

"Can she handle it?" Miranda softly said, looking at Derek.

He nodded and sighed heavily as Miranda lifted the tiny blanket clad bundle from the cradle and handed it to him. Meredith shook violent tremors from head to toe but she held out her quaking arms as Derek laid the tiny bundle in them. She lifted the blankets edge and delicately traced the soft features beneath, smoothing the velvety fuzz that covered the tiny head. Meredith clenched her teeth before she gazed at her baby and then she looked out the window to the grey, soaked day and wished she'd died too…

* * *

"_Meredith_…?"

Meredith opened her eyes to the dimly lit bedroom. Derek sat down on the edge of the bed, hovering over her, "It is Laura…she's on the phone…do you wanna talk to her?"

Meredith shook her head and pulled the blanket more tightly around her. She heard Derek's audible sigh, "I'm sorry sweetie but mommy's sleeping. She'll call you in a few days OK? Good…have a good time in Boston!"

…

"OK…sweetie, will do. I love you too…bye!"

The mattress sagged beneath Derek's weight when he sat down on the bed again, "Mere…this can't go on…please talk to me?"

Meredith clenched her jaw but remained motionless and silent, her eyes seemingly staring right through him. Derek opened his mouth to speak but the desperation in her eyes froze him and for the first time in six weeks, his breath hitched uncontrollably and the mere thought of his dead son brought him to breaking sobs.

"..Mere…please?" Derek took in an ragged breath, "I love you, but it feels as if I've lost you too and…," he couldn't finish his sentence as he was suddenly overwhelmed by emotions and feelings he'd kept locked away for weeks, just to spare her. He lifted one hand to wipe it against his eyes and his shoulders shook.

Meredith blinked a few times and watched as Derek's face dissolved in tears. She slowly lifted a hand and reached out to touch him but always redrew her hand at the last moment. Derek finally lifted his head and peered up at her, his eyes puffy and red. His lip trembled so much that her heart nearly broke, "I..I'm so sorry," he whispered, wiping his eyes, "…so sorry."

Meredith's lip quivered, "H..he's dead! What am I supposed to do without him. I wanted him so much…so much," she sobbed.

"I know baby…I know," Derek let out a noisy sniffling sound and wiped his nose against his arm.

Meredith opened her mouth to say something, only to find her throat stuck; no sounds coming out. Derek touched her arm, "It's alright if you have no words," he softly said, "I don't have them either but Mere…I love you, please don't push me away!"

Meredith's eyes watered a little at his words and the look on his face; she sniffed and rubbed her own nose before trailing her fingers lightly over his hand and then pulling away again. Derek simply crouched beside her and watched as she closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing. For the first time in weeks, his pain seemed to subside to a more bearable level as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep too.

* * *

Huddled in a corner of the couch, Meredith nursed a now-cold cup of coffee between her hands. As she had for most of the past weeks since the loss of her baby, she stared silently ahead. All she could see in her mind's eye was Derek's pale, frightened face. And then there also had been swirl of faces…Miranda, Cristina, and her gynecologist…and the awful wracking cramps that had signaled the end of her so-much-wanted pregnancy.

Several weeks of oblivion had followed, so much she knew. And now she was at home while Derek had resumed work again._ Bad enough that my head is stuffed with memories_, Meredith thought. But mainly good memories, she acknowledged; particularly the last year when she and Derek successfully rebuilt their relationship…and Laura.

_Laura…would she like it at her grandparents_? Meredith wondered, feeling a stab of pain at the remembrance of her adopted daughter.

A single tear tracked down Meredith's face as she leaned to the side table and picked up the phone.

**……….**

The sky was already turning to dusk as Derek walked up the driveway of the house. To his surprise, light from the kitchen streamed across hall. He was still tapping snow of his boots, when the front door swung open and Meredith stood there, "Come in quickly before all the warmth goes out," she softly said. Derek pulled his arms back, and then looked back and forth before stepping inside. He followed her to the kitchen and draped his coat over a chair at the table. They both sat...and moments passed before Meredith softly said, "I've called Laura."

"How is she?"

"She's fine but she wants to come home."

"…And?" Derek ran a hand through his hair.

Meredith smiled, "I told her you would get her…next weekend!" She rose, stepping away from the table and lifting the kettle on the stove, "Do you want something warm to drink?"

Derek slowly shook his head before he stood and closed the distance between them, looking deep into her eyes. To his surprise, she didn't avert her gaze but that one look told him all he needed to know; Meredith was still hurting inside but she also knew, he was there for her. Derek reached out, wrapping an arm around her shoulders leading her into the living room. Guiding her over to the couch, he eased her down and then sat next to her. His arms wound their way around her shoulders and pulled her tightly to him. A faint smile touched Meredith's mouth but she closed her eyes tightly to keep tears from starting again, "I love you Derek and I know we have to go on…I still have a daughter to take care of but…I'll never forget…," the last words came out as a sob and Derek wrapped her tighter in his arms.

"Shhh," he whispered into her hair, a hand gently rubbing her back, "We both won't forget him!" Meredith started crying even louder and Derek could feel them pierce his heart. The agony that came with her tears was nearly too much but this time it felt different.

Meredith clung to him desperately; wishing she could just melt into him. A few times, she opened her mouth to speak, only to find that sobs were the only thing to wrench themselves through her throat. Derek on the other hand, continued whispering to her, soothing words…anything he thought might make her pain less and through her tears, it also made her smile. Gradually, her grip on his shoulders eased and she pulled away from him, "I'm sorry," she started. "I so promised myself I wouldn't cry…," but Derek cut her off by a finger to her lips.

"You can cry all you want. It's even better to let it all out. I'm just glad you don't push me away anymore," Derek looked into her eyes.

Meredith nodded and Derek reached up to smooth her hair back. Another hand reached out for one of hers to hold it tightly and for the first time in weeks, a real smile graced Meredith's mouth, "I love you Derek," she whispered.

**To be continued in the next episode...**

**Author's note: I've never never...ever done this. All my stories have happy endings but last week, one of my best friends had a misscarriage for the third time and when I was writing, I simply couldn't write anything else than this...I'm sorry but I still hope you like the story. Please let me know what you think of it. All comments are welcome...positive AND negative! I'm sure I will learn from them which only improves my writing. Hope you all had a nice holidays and wishing you also the best for 2010! I will try to update soonish ;-)**


	13. Will You Love Me Tomorrow?

**_Author's note: Still not tired of "A Lost Dream"? I hope I haven't lost readers because of the drama surrounding Meredith's pregnancy. Well at least, happier times (with lots of sex) lay ahead. Please comment on the story if you want and for those that already have...thanx a lot for your encouraging and lovely comments. Wishing you all a nice day!_**

**_McJinx_**

**_Chapter 15 Will You Love Me Tomorrow?_**

"_Meredith_? We're home…!"

In a matter of seconds, a blond, curly-haired girl ran as fast as her little legs could carry her into the living room. In her right hand she held a drawing, "Mommy…mommy!" she exclaimed loudly, her eyes lighting up as Meredith caught her and gave her a big hug,

"I'm so glad you're back," she softly said with a happy tone in her voice. "Mommy…I made this for you!" Laura said with a big smile on her little face. She handed Meredith the drawing and in anticipation for her reaction, Meredith's eyes scanned the paper; it was a drawing of Laura, Derek and herself, and in the picture, Laura was holding a baby. To someone else, the drawing might just look like a child's scribbling but to Meredith it was the best drawing she'd ever seen, "Do you like it mommy?" Laura asked with hope in her voice. Meredith smiled at her, "I love it," she said honestly. Laura grinned with joy at Meredith's answer and gave her the tightest hug her little arms could possibly give. Derek smiled as he watched the two people he loved most in the whole world. "How about we put that masterpiece of yours up on the fridge?" he said. "That sounds like a great idea!" Meredith smiled while she walked into the kitchen; hanging the piece of paper up next to some of Laura's other drawings.

**…**

"Laura…time for bed! Are you coming?" Derek called from upstairs to the little girl who was sitting on Meredith's lap while they were watching a program on the television. "OK…Uncle Derek, I'm coming!" Laura looked up at Meredith who was smiling down on her, "Night…sweetie!"

"Night, mommy!" she said, softly kissing Meredith's cheek. Meredith set her down on the ground and Laura made her way to the stairwell, dragging her favorite teddy bear behind her. Meredith watched her with a smile as Laura fumbled up the stairs, her bear bouncing up and down on the steps. Right before she was out of sight, she turned around and blew a kiss in Meredith's direction. Meredith smiled back and blew her daughter a good night kiss too.

"I love you so much!" Meredith whispered just before Laura disappeared up onto the second floor. She lay back on the couch and sighed with a contented smile on her face.

**…**

"Where's the baby now?" Laura asked Derek softly while her head rested on his shoulder. For a moment, Derek didn't speak, startled by her sudden question then he softly whispered, "The baby has gone to heaven, sweetie. He's an angel now!"

"I love angels," Laura sighed deeply. She suddenly turned and Derek caught her gaze. He marveled at the color of her eyes – almost identical to Meredith's – a mix of silver, touched with turquoise and whispers of emerald green. She looked at him curiously, "Is mommy sad now?"

Derek took in a deep breath and a quiet smile trapped over his lips. He lovingly caressed Laura's curls and nodded, "Yeah…mommy's still sad but she's also very glad you're home again…_we both are_!"

"I love you Uncle Derek!" Laura wrapped her little arms around Derek's neck and snuggled into his chest. Derek felt his heart swell at her little declaration. He smiled and clutched even tighter, "I love you too baby…but now it's time for bed!"

Derek stood and carried Laura over to the bed. He covered her with blankets, making sure to tuck her favorite teddy bear in securely next to her then he kissed her on the forehead and made his way over to the door.

"_Derek_?" He heard her whisper before he reached the bedroom door.

"What is it?"

"Maybe mommy can have another baby."

A small melancholic smile crossed Derek's face, "Maybe! Now go to sleep."

"OK…night Uncle Derek."

"Night, sweetie!"

**…**

Heading into the master bedroom, Derek changed into something more comfortable before moving back into the kitchen. Meredith was still watching TV when he decided on making something quick and easy. After half an hour, he put a plate for each of them on the table with home-made pasta and fresh tomatoes.

"_Mere_…? Dinner's ready!"

"Mmm…that looks good," she said upon entering the kitchen. Sitting down, she picked up her knife and fork and began to eat. Derek watched her in amusement as she devoured her food. The pasta was excellent and Meredith shoveled it down in minutes, then she looked up at Derek.

"I guess you liked it," he said with a grin.

Meredith giggled while she put down her fork, "Can I have some more…please?" After dinner they both did the dishes. They were just putting the dishes back into the cupboard when the telephone rang. Derek picked up the phone and listened, then he handed the receiver to Meredith, "It's for you…Lexie!"

**…**

When the call ended Meredith slowly put the phone back on the hook. She glanced at Derek for a moment and then sat down on the couch, her eyes falling in her lap before she softly said, "They wanna take me to Joe's. Izzie had her check-up this morning and since she isn't breastfeeding anymore, she's allowed to drink again!" Derek nodded and moved closer to Meredith. He took one of her hands in both of his and softly said, "Why don't you…it'll be good for you; a night with the girls!" Meredith's fingers encircled his hand for a moment and she whispered, "I don't know Derek." Derek smiled and said, "You're ready, Mere. GO…and have fun. I'll watch Laura!" Meredith put her hand to Derek's cheek for a moment and then smiled, "Yes…OK, I'll go. Call Lexie back while I go upstairs and change…OK?" Derek nodded and took the phone while Meredith hurried upstairs.

*** * ***

It was far past midnight when Meredith unlocked the front door to the house. The light switches were suddenly in odd places and not easy to find, so she wandered around in the semi-dark. Slightly buzzed from the tequila, she tried not to bump into things as she went upstairs to get ready for bed. Once in her nightshirt, she dashed to bed, turning off the lights in the bathroom as she passed it. By now, it was chilly in the house and the thought of warm blankets and soft pillows was suddenly very appealing. Jumping into bed, Meredith flung the blankets over her head, cuddling up form warmth. A warm, hard bodied form immediately snuggled up behind her, an arm flopping over her waist.

"Hey," Derek breathed, "Had a good time?"

Meredith giggled, nodding enthusiastically, "Yeah…it was great but I'm afraid I had a little too much tequila!"

"You're cute when you're drunk!" A wide grin spread across Derek's face as Meredith turned toward him.

"I am?"

"Yeah," Derek brought Meredith tighter against him and she slinked her arms around his neck.

"I'll probably be sorry in the morning 'cause hangover's gonna be a bitch," Meredith muttered. Derek grinned, nodding in agreement; his blue eyes glistening with tenderness because for the first time in weeks, Meredith sounded like her old self again. With a sigh, she buried her face against his chest, "I love you Derek," she said, her voice muffled, "…so much."

Derek couldn't remember a time he'd ever been more content, holding Meredith in his arms. He leaned closer and gently kissed her neck. She giggled and began to bite his neck, passionately, lustfully. It hurt a bit but was also arousing. She started drawing circles on his chest and looked up at him from time tot time with a tender smile. As she softly kissed his chest, he felt his body responding and it made him so hard, he wanted nothing more than to be inside her.

"Mere…?" Derek said softly.

She looked up at him and could only sigh as he caught her lips with his. As her lips parted slightly, he moved his hand to the back of her head, trying to remember to breathe as his tongue entered her mouth. She returned the kiss eagerly and when they finally broke apart, it felt like an eternity had passed. Derek's breath caught in his throat and he was bending down again, this time really tasting the alcohol on her lips. His arms tightened around her, pulling her to him. He ran his hands behind her and pulled her nightgown to her waist, making a sound in his throat when he felt her naked back. Meredith pulled back while Derek looked down and saw her breasts and deep rosy nipples then he knelt down, leaning close to suck one small, dark nipple into his mouth. Meredith moaned and tangled her hands in his dark hair. She pushed it away from his face so she could watch him. He pulled slightly back and darted his tongue out to flick the hard, little bud,

"Mmm…Derek…yes," she arched her back.

Derek switched to the other breast and sucked it until she was whimpering. By now, he was trembling with need as he pulled away and pulled down his boxers. He slid them off and went back to Meredith, pulling her body to his as he lay down beside her.

"God…I wanna make love to you," Derek said the words as if he'd just thought them.

Meredith swallowed hard and bit her bottom lip but Derek didn't seem to notice. He kissed her again, gasping when her hands suddenly touched him. He softly groaned as she gently began stroking his shaft; up and down; the foreskin obeying to her movements. Derek closed his eyes as she took the tip of him in her mouth and sucked upon it slowly. Her hands still moved up and down his shaft while her tongue played with the hole on the tip.

"Ohhh…Mere…please stop…not like this, I wanna be inside you," he moaned but Meredith knew how much he enjoyed it so she continued. She moved one hand up and began stroking Derek's arousal, making sure to run the palm of her hand over the tip with every down stroke. Derek's moans became louder and when she felt him tightening, she knew he was close so she moved back up to take him into her mouth again. She moved her mouth up and down over the tip sucking as she did while her hand stroked him at the same time.

"Mmm….God, yesss," Derek cried out as he climaxed into her mouth. When his breaths returned to normal, Meredith looked down on him. His hair was in tussle and his face had a content look on it. Meredith smiled as she leaned over and kissed him goodnight.

*** * ***

The morning light shone in through the curtains and on Meredith's face. She groaned softly as she woke up, not wanting to open her eyes.

"Oh…God, my head," she groaned again as she stretched a little and then slowly rolled away from the light shining in through the curtains. She could feel Derek's presence next to her as she eased herself closer to him. Her mind was still a little fuzzy and she squinted as she slowly opened her eyes. Derek was still sound asleep, lying on his side facing her. She carefully listened and could hear and feel his breath. Images of the previous night raced through her mind; images of Derek's hard arousal and her not wanting him to make love to her so she tricked him with that other sex thing.

Meredith slowly shook her head. She adjusted herself in bed, propping herself up with her left arm. Her heart pounded and she held her breath as she slowly reached up and touched Derek's face.

"_Derek_?" She whispered.

Derek's eyes fluttered before he opened them and bore into hers. He blinked a few times as if trying to focus. Meredith's eyes had paled to a cloudy grey and there was something in them, "_Mere_…what's wrong?"

Meredith swallowed past a lump in her throat and fought back an onslaught of tears, "Er…last night," she said. "Us…_not_ making love."

Derek held her gaze and tenderly said, "Last night was amazing…!"

Meredith shook her head profusely, "No…it wasn't. I want us to make love…it's just...," she hesitated.

"_What_…?" Derek breathed, reaching out and brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

Meredith blushed and looked away then he heard her whisper, "I want you to use a condom…I don't wanna get pregnant again."

Derek smiled and put his arms around Meredith, pulling her close, "OK, "he said. Then he leaned closer to whisper in her ear, "If I pick up a box of condoms…can I make love to you tonight?"

Meredith looked deep into Derek's eyes and realized she was definitely ready to take their relationship to that level of commitment again.

"Yes," she whispered...

**To be continued in the next chapter ;-)**


	14. You Brightened Up The Darkness

**Author's note: Thanks for reading the story and all your lovely comments. Now, a nice, long chapter! Please enjoy!!!**

**Mc Jinx**

**_Chapter 14:_ _You Brightened Up The Darkness_**

_How to show you what I'm feeling  
And try to make you understand  
Won't you take this heart, this longing  
I see my future in your hands  
Oh, so simple now you're here  
Like breathing out and breathing in  
You brightened up the darkness_

_Gave a reason to begin..._

Laura barged into Meredith's bedroom, carrying her favorite teddy bear close to her. Her bottom lip was pulled into her mouth and she was sucking on it as her excitement grew. Slightly tilting her head, she looked at her sleeping mom and Derek, who were comfortable in each other's arms; her four-year old mind rolling its eyes. They promised her a whole day and a sleep-over at Lexie's and now it was definitely time them to wake up. She crawled between them, looking back and forth at her mom and Derek and then decided to poke Derek's cheek with her little finger. She giggled when he flinched at her touch and turned his face away. She poked him a bit harder, making him groan in annoyance as he buried his face in the pillow. Laura then faced Meredith. She gently shook her mom's shoulder, earning another groan. Laura rolled her eyes this time and started jumping on the bed.

"Mommy! Uncle Derek! Wake up…wake up!" She yelled, her little teddy bear hitting Derek and Meredith in the face, waking them up easily. Derek jumped up in surprise, "Wh…what?"

Meredith bolted up, her eyes immediately searching for Derek then her eyes settled on the blond four-year-old, jumping on their bed. She smiled and held Laura down by her arms.

"Come here you little rascal," Derek grinned playfully, grabbing Laura and throwing her in the air, earning squeals from the little girl. Meredith shook her head, enjoying Laura's and Derek's bonding.

"Why did you wake us so early…sweetie?"

Laura smiled at Meredith, her blue eyes twinkling with excitement again, "Mommy…don't you know what day it is? Today I get to go to aunt Lexie and Uncle Marc…don't you remember?"

"Oh…how could we forget?" Derek asked innocently, his own eyes twinkling too. He gave Laura a kiss on her forehead before shooing her out of the room, "Go take your bag…mommy and I will be right behind you!"

"OK…Uncle Derek," Laura replied, grabbing her teddy bear and running out of the bedroom into her own.

Derek eyed Meredith lovingly, wrapping his arms around her small waist, kissing the crook of her neck. "Ready for your first day?" he whispered tenderly.

Meredith nodded and then threw back the covers to get Laura ready for her sleep-over at Lexie's.

* * *

"_Nervous_?" Derek asked softly after he noticed the silence between him and Meredith stretched during their ride to the hospital. When she didn't immediately comment, he looked at her sideways.

"_Mere_…?"

"I'm sorry…_what_?" Meredith's breath hitched in her throat and she bit down on her lower lip.

"Are you nervous?" Derek repeated.

"Mmm…a little!"

Meredith's voice was barely a whisper and Derek realized she was still very vulnerable. He almost unnoticeably nodded and then moved closer to her, touching her knee.

"Don't be…," he said while reaching for her hand. Meredith sighed, sudden tears coating her eyes as she tried to find the right words.

"I'm glad we're working together," she finally sighed.

"Yeah."

Derek squeezed Meredith's hand before he turned into the hospital parking lot. She smiled bravely and after he'd parked his Jeep, they both started across the parking lot to the large entrance doors. In a few quick strides, Derek triggered the automatic door opener; stepping aside and letting Meredith enter first. The receptionist nodded and sent them a sympathetic smile, "Glad to see you're back, Doctor Grey!"

"See…," Derek said encouragingly, pushing the 'UP' elevator button. On their ride to the surgical floor, Meredith didn't even notice the interns, glancing at her. When they'd reached the fourth floor, Derek accompanied Meredith to the resident locker room. When they'd reached it, he turned to her, reaching for her hand and pulling her closer, softly kissing her forehead, "You know where I am…if you need me," he softly said. Meredith nodded and then took in a deep breath before pushing down the door handle and stepping inside.

"_Mere…you're back. Finally_!"

"_Yay…you're back_!"

"_Welcome back Doctor Grey_!"

Somewhere between the loud shouts of voices, Meredith also heard her closest friends and her face brightened in a smile at their kind words.

"Thanks…I'm also glad to be back!"

…

"Hey Doctor Grey…good to see you," was the greeting waiting from Doctor Bailey when Meredith shuffled through the Clinic later that morning.

"Thanks, Doctor Bailey," she smiled while pulling off a pair of gloves, finger by finger.

"Meredith…you're back," the Chief's voice suddenly came from behind Meredith as she threw the gloves in a bin and it made her jump in surprise.

"Chief…God, you startled me."

"I'm sorry…how are you?"

"I'm good Sir," Meredith smiled straightening her scrubs. "I'm glad to be back." Before Richard could ask more questions, Meredith wrapped her stethoscope around her neck and patted her hair, "I'm sorry Sir but I'm expected for rounds."

"Oh…OK…talk to you later."

Meredith hurried down the hallway, glad she'd avoided the Chief's questions. She knew he meant well but for her it was too soon to talk about what had happened.

"Hey Mere…?"

Meredith turned around and noticed Cristina, sitting in the nurses' lounge. She smiled and sat down beside her.

"Phew…I'm glad when this first day's over," she sighed.

"Why?"

Meredith pulled her feet up underneath her and rolled her eyes, "I know they all mean well…but those questions…," Meredith slowly shook her head.

"Yeah…," Cristina stretched and propped her feet up on the small coffee table. "I promise…I won't ask questions."

"Good," Meredith smiled, finally relaxing a little, "Is it a slow day?" she asked, looking around.

"Yeah, it is right now. I think Alex' got the only patient."

"It'll pick up by dinner time. It always does," Meredith smiled.

"That's why…,"I'm gonna get some coffee. You want one too?"

"Yeah…sure! Get me the usual."

"Two sugars, one milk?" Cristina verified.

"That's the only way I drink the stuff," Meredith grinned, shoving her hands into her Doctor's coat as Cristina headed outside for their first coffee fix of the day.

* * *

It was almost five when Meredith walked down the hallway, looking for Derek.

"_Meredith_? Could you please help me out?" Lexie's voice called to her from down the hallway.

"Can you stay and watch my patient's vitals while I get her film in radiology?"

"Is she conscious," Meredith ran a hand through her hair and looked into the room. An older woman with grey curls was lying motionless on the bed.

"No…she's in insulin shock so I don't wanna take a chance. She might wake up any moment now."

"Sure…go get your films," Meredith agreed, stepping into the exam room, glad she could be of assistance. She checked the woman's chart, smoothed her sheets and then patted her hand, "Don't worry Mrs. Robinson," she said softly, sitting back in a chair. "We'll get your glucose level back up!"

The even, constant rhythm of the heart monitor in the otherwise quiet room set Meredith's mind into a lulled trance as she watched the old woman. Soon, memories of the pregnancy settled at the front of her thoughts, as images of a tiny baby materialized into her mind. She and Derek had been so happy, so content; talking about the baby…and their future together. But after the death of their son, everything had vanished in a thick mist…until the last few days. Meredith bit her bottom lip because it surprised her when she realized it. She'd become dependant on Derek, on having him around every day…and night and by now, she really longed for his warmth again.

"What's the matter, sweetie?" A gentle voice pulled Meredith from her daydreams. She gasped and opened her eyes, feeling hot tears streaming down her face.

"Mrs. Robinson," she croaked. "You're awake…how are you feeling m'am?"

"I'm feeling fine…a bit tired though." The woman smiled weakly. "But why are you crying dear?"

Meredith quickly wiped her tears with the sleeve of her shirt and then she hopped up from her chair to adjust Mrs. Robinson's IV, "I was just caught up in memories…," she smiled, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"There's nothing wrong with memories dear," Mrs. Robinson nodded slowly, reaching out and placing a frail hand on Meredith's arm, "Even when they're sad …you have to cherish them!"  
Meredith gazed at her elderly patient for a moment, and then she smiled pensively, "I guess you're right," she agreed softly.

…  
"Here I am," Lexie exclaimed while she burst into the room; red-faced and out of breath.

"OK…then I'm off. Bye Mrs. Robinson," Meredith smiled while she waved her hand in a goodbye.

"Bye dear…and remember what I've said about those memories…!"

* * *

By now, it was close to six and Meredith was getting hungry. Since she didn't like to eat alone, she decided to take a look at the surgical board to see if Derek was free. Despite her earlier comments, the hospital still was abandoned when she made her way down the hallway. When she neared the surgical board, her eyes grew wide but only for a second.

"_Addison_?"

"_Meredith Grey_…or do I have to call you _Shepherd_ now?"

Meredith swallowed hard, her heart thumping in recognition. A lock of hair fell across her eyes and she pulled it back behind her ear without taking her eyes from Addison's face.

"It's still Grey," she said, very softly, and smiling.

"But you _**are**_ still together?" A frown puckered between Addison's thin eyebrows. Meredith took in a deep shuddering breath and nodded, swallowing past the sudden lump in her throat. "Yeah…yes, we are. I'm sorry Addison…please, excuse me."

Meredith's eyes filled with tears as she hurried down the hallway in the opposite direction. Addison furrowed her brows but then shrugged her shoulders.

…

"_What did you say to her_?"

Addison's green eyes lit up and a warm smile spread across her face, "Derek…hi! Addison turned around to face her former husband but he looked at her with dark eyes and an emotion she'd never seen before, behind them. She frowned with confusion, "What's with you? I thought you'd be glad to see me."

Derek sighed and then leaned closer to kiss Addison's cheek, "I'm sorry," he said softly running a hand through his thick hair. "It's just…she's been through enough."

"Who…? _Meredith_?" Addison briefly turned to the direction in which Meredith had disappeared.

"Come," Derek made a gesture toward his office and Addison followed him; still a bit stunned.

* * *

Inside, Derek gestured to the visitor's chair opposite his desk, "Please…take a seat!" Addison sat down and during a few minutes she sat motionless in her chair, her elbow leaning on the carved arm-piece, her chin supported upon the back of her half-closed hand.

"So? You wanna talk about what's going on?" she finally demanded.

"Give me a minute, Addison. It's hard to grasp." Derek rubbed at his eyes and ran a hand through his hair.

Addison shook her head, "If things between you and Meredith…."

"NO…it's not that," Derek snapped, his head sagging. Addison looked at him long and hard, her eyes darting over the lines of his handsome features, almost as if she was searching for a clue or something. Derek swallowed hard, "Mere…she…we…had a baby. He died!"

Addison swallowed. "He died…?" She murmured trying to make eye contact with Derek.

"Mere went into labor at twenty-six weeks. He just was too small!" Derek kept his voice calm through much effort.

"Oh Derek…I'm so sorry!"

"Yeah…," Derek got out of his chair and stood bent over with his hands on the desk. He clenched his jaw tightly. Addison looked up at him slowly and inhaled deeply. She knew why this touched her so deeply. She had always dreamt of having children…preferably with Derek but now he was with Meredith…and her own ability to have children was gone too. Addison felt tears stinging in her eyes. It was the first time she ever felt like crying over the loss of Derek…and having children. Derek stood and bent, kissing Addison's forehead, oblivious to her emotions, "Thanks for listening," he softly said.

Addison found herself smiling through her tears. She sniffed and wiped her cheeks quickly with the backs of her hands.

"Hey…why are _you_ crying?"

"It…it's nothing. It's just…I knew how much you must have wanted this…," Addison mumbled, looking up at Derek. He frowned but Addison's look of sadness was quickly followed by a smile as she kissed his cheek.

"I have to go…Richard's expecting me. Maybe will talk later?"

Derek nodded and watched Addison leave with a small melancholic smile playing across his lips.

* * *

Meredith was thankful, her first day was over. She'd had experience with difficult questions but it was easier not to have too many of them on her first day. As she was pulling on her casual shoes in the locker room, she heard some of the other residents enter the door that was located on the other side of her row of lockers.

"Oh, c'mon Jackson, I'm sure it's not that bad…,"came the voice of Cristina.

"Not that bad?" Came another voice; one Meredith had heard a couple of times before. He belonged to the handsome resident who's name she couldn't remember. "Shepherd hasn't talked to me in three days…," his voice turned to a whisper. "You know Neurology is my thing but _**he**_ won't give me the time of day!" Even though, Meredith wasn't eavesdropping, she could hear the desperation in the resident's voice. She couldn't help but grin, remembering Cristina getting the same tone in her voice when she was in desperate need of a good surgery. Tying her shoes and grabbing her bag, before shutting her locker, she slipped out of the locker room. Before she opened the door, she caught a glimpse of Cristina and the other resident. They were wrapped up in a whispered conversation, the handsome one looking very serious and Cristina trying not to look too amused.

"See you guys tomorrow," Meredith smiled before closing the door.

…

The elevator doors slid open and several interns exited the elevator. Derek stretched his neck towards the door to get a better look. His eyes lit up with tenderness as he saw Meredith.

"Hi," he greeted before putting an arm around her slender shoulders and leading her outside.

"Hey yourself." Meredith smiled back, feeling secure with Derek's arm around her. Several minutes later, they were on their way back home. As Derek drove along the empty expanse of the highway, he hummed along to the radio while Meredith rested her head against the window; feeling content and drowsy. Her eyes slowly drifted shut and before Derek had reached the next intersection, she was deep asleep.

…

When the car slowly came to a halt, Derek switched off the key and pulled on the emergency brake. Waking with a start, Meredith sat up. She rubbed at her eyes and looked out the front windshield not immediately realizing where she was. Her mind slowly clearing, she looked sideways.

"Hey, sleepy head!"

Meredith looked up to find Derek was watching her with an amused look on his face. She relaxed back stifling a yawn. Derek grinned and got out of the car, opening the door on her side, "Let's get you inside before you fall asleep again!"

Inside, Derek hung their coats when Meredith went upstairs for a quick shower.

When Derek entered the bedroom, half an hour later, the sound of running water had just ceased. Now, there were only little sounds; the gathering up of towels and the closing of a medicine cabinet. When the door opened Meredith walked into the bedroom with a towel around her body. Derek was sitting on the bed looking at some papers. He looked up when Meredith loosened the bath towel from her body and began burrowing through her underwear drawer.

A small sigh escaped him, "God…you're beautiful!" A small smile came to Meredith's face as she caught her own naked body in the mirror. Her fingers splayed over her (yet again) flat stomach and she took in a deep breath. Derek hopped off the bed and closed the distance between him and Meredith. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug.

"God…I feel so empty inside," she said softly, her voice breaking. Derek stroked her hair and whispered, "I know baby…I know." A tear of his own slipped down his cheek and a small moan escaped his throat. Meredith pulled away a little and their eyes locked. Without a second thought, Meredith pressed her lips against Derek's.

"Please…," she whispered. "Make love to me Derek…I need you so much." Derek glanced at Meredith and pulled her tight against him, their mouths meeting in hungry, desperate kisses. Without warning, he suddenly scooped her up, clamped his lips over hers and carried her to the bed. He took her down beside him, everything inside him roaring to let go. No matter what had happened, their love for each other was still strong. He could feel it, sense it…they were ready to love again.

Derek buried his face in the crook of Meredith's neck, inhaling deeply the sweet, fragrant traces of her shower gel, the warmth of her skin and the soft strands of her hair caressing his face. He could feel her body heat through his clothes and it was intoxicating. He caressed Meredith with such tenderness and reverence; she tightly closed her eyes and issued a soft murmur. Her breath came warm and moist against his ear as she wrapped her arms around him, "I want you Derek…," she whispered as he started a trail of kisses down the side of her neck and throat. When he softly kissed her lips, Meredith's blood was racing and she ran her fingers through his hair, urging him on.

"Mere…," Derek pleaded breathlessly. "Wait, wait!" he moaned, his chest rising and falling rapidly. With a groan, he released Meredith's mouth and roared back, practically ripping off his clothes. Before Meredith could even register the loss of warmth of Derek's body, he was naked. When he got down beside her again, she took his hands, placing them on her body, whispering hoarsely, "Touch me!" And he did. His hands roamed feverishly over her naked body, his fingers only becoming slightly hesitant when they encountered her hard, pink nubs but the barest hint of touching them had Meredith moaning in ecstasy. Derek smiled and he leaned forward. His tongue swept across her nipple and he moaned in pleasure at the sweet taste. When he finally withdrew he gazed down on Meredith's naked body. Her skin had a milky-white complexion; she was slender but her muscles were toned and her breasts were small and well formed, with fleshy, pink nipples that stood erect from his ministrations. Derek smiled as his eyes traveled to the curly patch of slightly darkened hair between her legs. Moving forward, he caressed her, following the contour of the sides of her body. Meredith closed her eyes and her head tilted back slightly in a moment of extreme pleasure. Derek's hand lightly touched one of her nipples again and as he leaned forward, a slight cry escaped Meredith as he scraped his teeth lightly against the surface of her nipples. Derek grinned, pulling away and licking around the surface of her breast. He lowered himself onto his knees and licked Meredith's skin, feeling the texture of her flesh beneath his teeth. She moaned and Derek's nips and bites moved lower and lower, past her abdomen. When his hot breath came close to her clitoris, she whimpered and tried to lean forward so he could better access but Derek teased her, blowing over her flesh and licking her thighs and lower abdomen but avoiding that small bundle of nerves.

Softly, Derek stroked Meredith's skin, all the time murmuring sweet words to her, calming and soothing her nerves. He stroked her face, her neck, her breasts, her stomach and her lower abdomen. Then he knelt down and touched her curly hair. She could feel his breath and she sighed in relief and pleasure. He began to lick Meredith, putting slight pressure onto her clitoris, causing her to moan softly with pleasure. Meredith gasped as her body climaxed; waves of pleasure flowing outwards from her lower abdomen, all across her body.

When Meredith opened her eyes, Derek reached in his drawer. He pulled out a small foil packet, then returning the box into the drawer. Never breaking eye contact with her, he opened the condom wrapper with his teeth. He rolled the condom slowly over his shaft, dropped the wrapper on the floor and then reached for her, pulling her to him. He placed his hand on the back of her neck and softly kissed her. Meredith felt Derek's weight ans he positioned himself over her.  
"I'm scared," she whispered suddenly.

Derek pulled back slightly, gazing down on her, "We don't have to do this…," he softly whispered. "…if you're not ready?"

"No…no," Meredith pleaded. "I want to…it's just. This almost feels like the first time," she shyly whispered.

Derek smiled and tenderly kissed Meredith. When he broke the kiss and gazed in her eyes, he could see desire there. Desire and…a hint of fear. Taking in a deep breath, she finally nodded, opening her legs wider for him. Derek positioned himself over her, his hand on his manhood, slowly pushing himself inside her. He slid all the way in, relentlessly pressing pas the initial resistance of her internal muscles. Despite his efforts of readying her, she was so tight, he didn't think he was going to last two seconds in her. His eyes closed for a second, and then, "Mmm…Mere!"

She blew out a long sigh at his invasion. He was embedded so deeply in her; she felt consumed by fire from the inside out, stretched beyond pleasure and pain into something more elemental. She could feel Derek's arousal throbbing inside her, pulsating with the fast beat of his heart. It had been so long; the pressure was glorious.

"Oh…Derek…please!"

"Am I hurting you?" Derek whispered, hardly daring to breathe, staring down on Meredith intensely. He pulled back a little, barely moving.

Panting, Meredith looked up at him…into him, "Please…make love to…me," she moaned hoarsely. Meredith's words sparked him into frenzy. He hesitated for only a second before he claimed her mouth with explosive passion. He feasted on her lips before delving inside her mouth with his tongue, thrusting and teasing in a promise of things to come. Meredith's whole body trembled against Derek with wanting. When one of Derek's hands left her thigh to cup her breast, her body responded with liquid fire low in her belly.

Derek started moving his hips slowly, allowing Meredith's body to conform to his size. Letting her take the lead, he waited until her shifting pelvis begged him for more. Then he thrust inside her with mindless abandon, allowing her throbbing womb to take him… over the edge.

As droplets of sweat fell from Derek's forehead onto her breasts, she held onto him and raised her hips off the bed to meet his every thrust. She could feel the heat building up inside her, urged on by the increased pace of Derek's thrusts and then with one, final thrust, an explosion of warmth spread throughout Meredith's body.

"Oh…mmm." With a small sound, Meredith felt her entire body tense and then relax. Her heart was racing and she was out of breath. She let out a sigh of pleasure and ran her hands lazily through Derek's hair before moving her hands down over his face to trace his features. Derek loomed over once more, leaning in for another long, slow kiss. He could sense Meredith beginning to tire beneath him; her movements becoming sluggish and her breathing deeper. He pulled his mouth from Meredith's, only to leave a trail of butterfly kisses down to her neck. The last thing she felt before drifting off into a contenting sleep was Derek placing a blanket on her body.

"Sleep baby," he whispered. "I love you."

**…**


	15. Work To Make It Work

**Author's note: I know you had to wait a long time for this update but I'm swamped with work, study, husband, kids, dog and...whatever LOL. But I've managed to put in a few, free hours for this next, long update. I still hope you can remember what happened last on 'A lost Dream'? If not, read the prevous chapters again...I'm sure it'll come to you. **

**I wanna thank all the readers who took the time to sent me private messages, asking me to update 'A lost dream'. It shows me that you read...and like the story. Hope we also get more Merder on Grey's Anatomy. **

**Please enjoy 'Work to Make It Work...**

**McJinx**

Chapter 15: **Work To Make It Work**…

"_Meredith_? You comin'?"

A rapping on the door and Izzie's voice awakened Meredith from her sleep.

"I'll be right out…just a minute!"

Jumping out of the bottom bunk bed in the on call room, Meredith quickly grabbed her scrub pants. Slipping into them, she turned to the mirror, ripping a brush through her hair. Grabbing her pager along the way, she flung open the door and ran down the hallway.

**…..**

"Listen up…I've made some changes…!"

Reporting for duty, Meredith stopped dead in her tracks at the Chief resident's words. That particular phrase never heralded good news and she slowly braced herself for what was about to come.

"Meredith…you'll work with Avery today," Cristina said without looking up.

"But…I was on Bailey's service today," Meredith muttered under her breath.

"Bailey's taking a personal day. I resigned you to Shepherd today," Cristina said slowly, briefly looking up but Meredith didn't miss the quick glance she threw at Jackson.

"Really…?" Meredith asked, incredulous, remembering Cristina's and Jackson's conversation from a few days earlier.

Cristina nodded, "Really! But before you break out the champagne…"

Meredith's face warmed under Cristina's chastening gaze. "I would never…," she protested, "Yes…Derek's my…whatever but that doesn't mean…er," an annoyed groan escaped her mouth. Cristina raised an eyebrow, knowing Meredith wasn't quite telling the truth because she loved Neurology….just like Jackson.

"The problem is you and Jackson both have Attendings on leave and pairing you two is the only logical decision I could make."

This time, Meredith didn't even sigh, "OK…it's fine, I guess."

Jackson clapped Meredith's shoulder. "Cheer up Meredith. It's only until Doctor Bailey get's back. A few days, tops!"

"A few days?" Meredith echoed with a weak smile.

**…..**

"So? You two are my residents for today," Derek's voice praised from a few feet away. Meeting his blue gaze, Meredith took in his pleased grin.

"Morning, Doctor Shepherd," Jackson's gaze immediately skimmed over the monitors, hooked to Derek's patient, who was already visibly relaxing from the medication he'd been given.

"What's _he_ in for?"

"Herniated disc," Derek said, flashing a look in Meredith's way, "You two ready to scrub in?"

"Absolutely," Jackson said without hesitation, pushing the patient's gurney into OR three.

Derek smiled softly at Meredith and whispered, "Did you get some sleep? It's your first double shift!" Meredith's lips twitched into a small smile as she nodded.

"Good!" Derek dropped his tone and stepped closer behind her, the fresh scent of his cologne winding around her with a very pleasing effect. In the next second, they were alone in the scrub room, while Jackson was already fully prepped in the OR.

"How's _he_?" Derek asked while scrubbing his hands.

"He's…nice," Meredith said, but she could feel Derek watching her. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No…not at all…it's just…," Meredith shook her head. "Cristina and Jackson…they…er, crap…it's nothing. I'm just rambling."

Derek frowned slightly as he looked at Meredith, his shoulders squaring as he took in a breath, filling his lungs, "_Wow_!"

"What…_wow_?"

Derek slowly shook his head, chuckling. "It's been a long time since I've heard you like this. It does kind of remember me of that shy, sweet, young intern you were when we met!"

Meredith giggled, "I'm still sweet and young!" Quickly looking around to make sure nobody saw them, she leaned closer and whispered something in Derek's ear. Her moist breath tickled his neck and he suddenly had to fight the urge to kiss her. When Meredith withdrew, Derek shook his head again; glad she was nearly her old self again. Then he grabbed his scrub cap and securely fastened it to his head, "We'll see," he softly said before pushing the automatic button with his elbow and entering the OR.

**…..**

"10- Blade please!"

Carefully, the scrub nurse placed the scalpel in Derek's hand. Clearing his throat, he looked up from the operating table, a twinkle in his eyes when he glanced at Meredith and then at Jackson. He cleared his throat before he said, "Doctor Avery…would you please make the first incision?"

"_Really_?"

"Really!" Derek said while he stepped aside to give Jackson better access. Jackson took in a deep breath and picked up the scalpel from Derek's hand. He looked down on the man lying on the table. The overhead light had already been focused on the patient's lower back. Blue surgical drapes were clamped in place, framing a rectangle of exposed skin. Jackson placed the tip of the blade on the skin, centering his incision on the patient's lower back. He made a smooth, clean slice while Meredith assisted; sponging up blood and handing Jackson hemostats. He cut deeper, through the yellow subcutaneous fat, pausing every so often so Meredith could cauterize a bleeder. Finally, he slid through the last layer of skin tissue.

"Retract please," he softly demanded.

Meredith took hold of the stainless steel retractors and gently tugged open the wound. One glance at the bulging central portion told Derek, his diagnosis had been correct; a herniated disc.

*** * * * * **

"Oh my God…did you see that? I was great!" A delicious shiver trilled down Jackson's spine as he threw his gloves into the waste bin and started washing his hands. "Doctor Shepherd's great! He let me do this one…all by myself!"

Meredith smiled at Jackson's enthusiasm, "You did an excellent job, Jackson!

He winked at her before turning around and hitting the door's automatic button, "I have to do this…thing. Oh…and Meredith thanks!"

"Thanks for what?"

Jackson briefly tilted his head to the side and grinned; then he disappeared around the corner.

"_You do realize you owe me for this_?"

Glancing behind her to see the smirk on Derek's face, Meredith slowly shook her head, "What…why?"

Derek quirked his eyebrows as he continued, "Because I let Jackson do the surgery…just like you asked. Well…how are you gonna make this up to me?"

"Lunch," Meredith said suddenly, "I'll page you when I'm free…OK!"

"I like the sound of that," Derek's grin echoed through the scrub room as Meredith headed outside.

**.....**

Derek was sitting behind his desk, reading a medical report when he felt a vibration inside his scrub pants. He reached inside and picked up his PDA which was the source of it. Reading the tiny video screen, he smiled to himself.

From Dr. M. Grey; surgical resident: **Ready for lunch. See you at the cafeteria?**

From Dr. D. Shepherd, Head of Neurology: **See you in five…can't wait!**

Derek rose from behind his desk when his eyes fell on a picture of Meredith and Laura on his desk. A tender grin split his features when he realized how much he loved her; the way she looked at him when she giggled; the way she smiled; the way she always managed to wrap a fist around his heart; the way, he couldn't go a day without thinking about her…a day…an hour…Crap…he needed to see her…right now! Derek took his PDA and typed in a new message.

To Dr. M. Grey, surgical resident: **Change of plans. Meet me in my office…stat!** Meredith was already on her way to the cafeteria when her PDA buzzed again. She took it and read Derek's message. A little sigh escaped her lips, assuming he'd been paged for an emergency surgery. Normally, this change of plans wouldn't have been a problem but she'd been so looking forward to their lunch, she felt a twitch of disappointment in her stomach. Meredith bit her bottom lip, she rounded a few more corners before she ended in front of Derek's office. For a moment, she tried to peek through the blinds but they were shut and the office seemed abandoned but then all over sudden, the door flew open and a pair of hands pulled her inside.

"_W…what_?"

Nuzzling her neck, Derek murmured, "Shhh…it's me!" Meredith grimaced…_of course it was him…_but before she had time to react, Derek's hands wrapped around her body, pulling her close. She wrapped her arms around his neck for leverage but his movements went from tender to seductive in a span of heartbeats. Against her breasts, she could feel that hard muscled wall of his chest and the rapid beat of his heart. His hands roamed restlessly over her back and Meredith soon realized she also wanted more. She could feel the hunger raging inside Derek and surprisingly, she felt it echoed in her own body. Crap…to hell with it…_this_ was better than lunch. Derek wanted her…she felt it in the hungry way; he kissed her and the way his hands roamed over her body like he couldn't touch her enough. Pulling her head back, she looked up into his eyes. Slowly, holding his gaze with hers, she slid her hands under his dark blue scrub shirt. She curved her hands over his narrow waist and tugged his lower body into close contact with hers, "I guess you have an appetite for something else than food…huh?" she whispered softly.

A harsh breath hissed out of Derek as he cupped Meredith's face in his hands. His eyes dark with need, searched her face. He smiled, sliding his hands into her hair, arching her head back and gazing down into her eyes. He then bent his head and kissed her gently, "Yeah…I want you!"

Sliding his hand upward under her scrubs, he gently cupped her breast. Meredith arched into his hand and moaned when he circled his thumb around her nipple. His face spread into a grin and he pushed his hands inside her scrub pants, wandering up and down her toned legs. Meredith moaned again and found herself wishing they were both more naked. As if he'd read her mind, Derek slid his hands up beneath her shirt, pulling it slowly over her head, pausing to stare at her almost bare chest.

"God…you're beautiful," the look on Derek's face was pure longing and Meredith swallowed hard. She cupped Derek's face in her hands and kissed him again as his hands slid her thin bra straps from her shoulders. He then dipped his face into her chest and kissed her while she considered the best way to remove his scrub pants. Her fingers slowly slid down the length of his chest and found the soft skin beneath his waistband. She tugged at the cord, slipping her hands inside to the silky fabric beneath. Gently, stroking Derek, she caused his kisses to become more forceful and his hands to push down her scrub pants and panties. When Meredith kicked her shoes and scrubs aside, Derek got rid of his own scrubs. Soon after, he sat on his leather chair, while Meredith straddled his hips. Slowly, she dipped her lips to his throat and gently sucked his skin. Derek reached behind her and slipped open her bra clasp, revealing her breasts to his eyes. He traced her nipples with his fingertips, watching Meredith entranced as she bit down on her lip, staring at him. She pressed her soft breasts into his chest, which caused him to moan, "Why do you have to be so sexy."

Derek sat sprawled on his seat and Meredith's head was spinning at their bare skin fused together. She looked into his eyes and slowly lowered herself down on him. She winced but the wincing soon became moaning as he pushed himself gently inside her. Derek closed his eyes while his hands wandered slowly over Meredith's body, her smooth breasts, her flat stomach, her toned thighs and her pert behind. Gently, he held her hips; his head spinning at their fusion and his heart racing. Meredith moaned at each sharp thrust of feeling between them, loving the way Derek groaned against her open mouth and then…it suddenly hit him.

"Mere…," he moaned, trying to pull away from her.

"Mmm…_what_?"

"We…," he swallowed, "I…you have stop. I'm not wearing protection!"

Meredith's eyes fluttered open and she moaned. She wet her suddenly dry lips, her breath catching in her throat as Derek stared at her. "I…I can't…," she moaned, writhing against him in desperation, her hips moving in a rhythm of intense desire and need. Derek groaned as Meredith's feminine muscles clenched tightly around his shaft, "Mere…," he moaned, "…your body is demanding that I take you but you know _this_ can have consequences."

"Derek…please…I…don't wanna stop," Meredith's voice cracked as the fire rose even deeper in her, sending her thoughts spiraling out of control. The ache within her grew and overwhelmed her senses, leaving her quivering and whimpering before Derek. She wanted him. She needed to feel him thrusting within her, each thrust getting deeper and harder…until they both shattered.

Derek's eyes narrowed to slits as he looked into Meredith's eyes. He clenched his jaw but suddenly she found herself being lifted without warning. She felt Derek sweep his free arm over the surface of his desk. Eyes wide, she watched as his medical journals, pads and picture frame fell to the floor. Holding her eyes, he laid her on top of the wooden desk top. He dragged her body towards the edge and closer to him; his hands gripping her thighs and widening them; to form a space for his body to be cradled within. Meredith's breath hitched in her throat as she rose up from her position, her legs held in place by Derek's strong hands, allowing him to cradle his lean hips between her thighs. Feverishly, she reached down to took hold of his hard erection; her thumb brushing over the engorged tip, shuddering of the feel of him in her hand. He was so hard and silky, throbbing with power. Without taking her eyes off Derek, she eased him to her entrance. He surged forward, not stopping until she couldn't take more of him.

"Oh…God," Meredith moaned as her flesh was stretched and filled by Derek. Without hesitation, he began a slow thrusting motion, determined to make her shatter in his arms.

Derek's office was silent except for the sound of their love making…Meredith's breathy sighs and Derek's husky groans. His lips sought hers in a hungry kiss, their mouths meeting and parting only to breathe in deeply. Their tongues tangled over and over...until Derek tweaked Meredith's aching nub and she stiffened. She moaned out his name as her climax washed over her and she clutched at his shoulders. Her feminine muscles clenching about his shaft, squeezing him in tightly, Derek rested his head in the cradle of Meredith's neck. With a groan, his thrusts became more erratic and faster as the rush of his climax approached him and flung him over the edge too. Rasping out her name, he pinned her body down and came in a hot stream of pulses.

Afterwards, Derek lay on top of Meredith, trembling while they both struggled to regain their breath.

"No regrets?" Derek panted, raising his gaze to meet Meredith's eyes.

"No…," Meredith whispered softly, "…no regrets…I love you!" She softly kissed Derek's forehead, brushing his dark hair from his face.

Derek smiled, slowly shaking his head, "Not as much as I love you!"

** * * * * * **

Meredith walked down the hallway, her cheeks still a little flushed with the glow of their lovemaking. She smiled when she realized, the throbbing adrenaline in her body had left her with enough energy for the second part of her double shift…the only thing she needed was a quick shower. Slipping into the resident locker room, she quickly glanced around but it was abandoned. Opening her locker, Meredith grabbed a towel, some fresh underwear and a new pair of scrubs before proceeding to the showers. The shower room was moist and humid and she could hear water running. She shrugged her shoulders and hung the towel on a nearby hook before turning on the faucet. She undressed and stepped behind the shower curtain, getting beneath a warm blistering spray.

"_Meredith_?"

A frown caught Meredith's face before she drew back the curtain, "_Cristina_?"

"This is awkward," the Chief resident said dryly, "I guess we both needed a shower for the same reason!" The two women looked at each other, shook their heads and then burst out laughing.

"Go shower…we'll talk later," Cristina hiccupped while she turned to get dressed. Meredith took her time in the shower, lazily lathering and rinsing her body. When she was done, a smile was still playing on her lips. When she was dressed, she slipped back into the locker room, realizing Cristina was still waiting for her. Meredith sat down on the wooden bench next to Cristina. Both women sat silent for a minute, Meredith's legs swinging back and forth then she softly said, "…So…you and Jackson?"

"Yeah…me and Jackson! He's great…you know," Cristina stated slowly.

Meredith nodded, "Yeah…I'm happy for you!"

Cristina opened her mouth as if to speak but then…_**beep…beep…beep…beep…beep**_; both their pagers went off in a high pitch tone.

Meredith and Cristina both took off towards the Emergency Room, pushing young interns out of the way.

Inside the ER, chaos ruled and a nurse calmly handed both residents a pair of gloves, which they immediately took and put on.

"CODE BLUE!" She heard one of the interns scream.

"Get the defibrillator on…NOW! Move it!" Cristina ordered, taking a pair of surgical scissors and cutting a young woman's sweater open with a fast but steady hand. The heart monitor was ringing loudly, telling them to hurry.

"She's flat lining Mere…start CPR," Cristina ordered. Meredith nodded and placed her hands on the woman's chest, firmly pushing down in a constant rhythm, "_one…two…three…_!"

"It's ready!" One of the interns shouted quickly handing the defibrillator to Cristina. She took the two flat, iron like devices as a nurse quickly spread some lubricant on the young woman's chest. Meredith stopped the CPR and quickly spread the jelly before Cristina placed the paddles on her chest.

"CLEAR!"

The woman's body jerked violently upwards and they all watched as the line on the heart monitor jumped and then…flat lined again.

"AGAIN!" Cristina shouted, not wanting to give up. She pushed the paddles down on the woman's chest again, "ClEAR," ...and for a second time her body violently jerked.

"What's her BP?" Meredith asked when the flat line on the monitor suddenly began to peak and the jerky rise and fall of the woman's chest, declared they'd brought her back to life.

"Low…but steadily rising, Doctor Grey," a nurse stated. Cristina's lips curled into a satisfied smile when the doors to the ER flew open and a young man rushed inside, "Evi…where's my Evi…Oh my God!" The man's eyes grew wide as he discovered the motionless body of his wife on the gurney. Even from a distance, Meredith could see his eyes, wild with worry and fear.

"I found her in the kitchen…she wasn't breathing…," a small sniff escaped the man's throat and he ducked his head briefly.

"She's OK," Meredith softly said, eyeing the young man carefully. "Her heart stopped but we were able to bring her back.

"And…what about our…?" The young man seemed to choke on his next word, "…our baby!"

Cristina's eyebrow rose slowly. "You're wife's pregnant?"

"Yeah…._twenty-six weeks_!"

Meredith stiffened but only for a moment then she carefully rolled a fetal monitor to the woman's gurney. "I've got it," Cristina quickly said, stepping forward. She spread some lubricant on the woman's abdomen and took the Doppler from Meredith's hand. Cristina carefully maneuvered the Doppler around on the woman's abdomen but the fetus wasn't moving and there was no heartbeat. Cristina carefully wiped the jelly from the woman's abdomen before looking up at the young man, "I'm very sorry but there's nothing we can do. The baby hasn't survived the extreme measures we had to take to save your wife's life". Meredith swallowed hard and felt as if someone had rammed a knife into her heart. She slowly turned and left the Emergency Room.

**..... **

Meredith sat numbly on an abandoned gurney in the basement. She laid her head back and then the single sentence of thought came repeatedly from the dark…_your baby's dead…your baby's dead…your baby's dead_! She closed her eyes. It was dark. Quiet. Still. She hurt but couldn't cry.

"Here you are…I was looking everywhere for you!"

Cristina rounded the corner of the basement and sat down on the gurney next to Meredith, "Are you OK?"

Meredith nodded, looking up into Cristina's eyes, "I am…I just needed a sec…you know?" Cristina nodded understandingly and with no warning, she wrapped an arm around Meredith's shoulder, "I'm sorry…you had to see that," she softly said. Meredith shook her head, "No…I had to see it. This isn't the first time a fetus died and it won't be the last…I have to learn how to deal with it!"

Both women were quiet for a few minutes.

"You know why we grew apart when you moved to Boston?" Cristina suddenly asked. Meredith shrugged her shoulders, "No!"

"Guilt," Cristina said softly, looking down to the ground.

"Guilt! Why?"

"Jealousy!" Cristina's voice lowered a couple of octaves, "I was always jealous of what you and Shepherd had and when you two grew apart after your family died, I felt guilty because deep in my heart I always wanted that."

The two women lapsed into another moment of silence until Meredith softly said, "Cristina?"

"…yes?"

"Wanna be my person again?"

A look of surprise crossed Cristina's face, replacing her frown. She nodded eagerly, "Sure…if you'll be mine!"

Meredith took in a slow, deep breath, "Good! Now…wanna do me a favor?"

"Anything!"

The briefest hesitation flashed through Meredith's mind before she determinedly said, "Write me a prescription for the after morning pill! Derek and I had…unprotected sex but I'm not ready for another baby!"

Cristina nodded, wrote out the prescription and handed it to Meredith, "Here you go…anything else?"

"The Pill," Meredith said softly without looking up, "I also want a prescription for the Pill!"

*** * * * * **

"Hey…uncle Derek!"

Right in front of him with her big blue eyes, wild blonde curls and radiant smile stood the second most import person in the whole world; _Laura Grey._

"Hey sweetie…how was your day?"

Laura started chatting while Derek scooped her small body off the ground. He planted a kiss on her cheek as he took the opportunity to snuggle his nose into her neck, causing the little girl to squeal and pull away. Meredith just smiled, reaching out and running her fingers through Derek's hair, "Ready to go home?"

"Mmm," Derek nodded while Laura wrapped her arms around his neck as she held onto him. Her warmth radiated off her body and collided with his. He smiled because she made him feel happy. Next to Meredith, Laura was _his_ family.

"Lexie got me a doll! With black hair…just like yours!" She told Derek happily, pulling away to look at him with a broad smile. Derek chuckled before pressing his forehead to Laura's.

"Wow…I'd love to see her," he said, kissing her cheek as she giggled.

"I love you Uncle Derek," Laura murmured while she lay her head down on his shoulder, lacing her fingers into his hair and tiredly closing her eyes. Derek glanced at Meredith and smiled, "I love you too sweetie!"

"You're so good with her," Meredith softly said as her fingers danced across Derek's skin soothingly. She leaned towards him and placed a tender kiss on his cheek.  
"She's easy to love," Derek countered, placing an arm around Meredith's waist and pulling her to him, "…And maybe one day…we can give her a brother or a sister," he softly added, giving Meredith an understanding look.

Meredith swallowed hard and then nodded, "Maybe…some day!"

**.....**

**To be continued in the next chapter. **

**Hope you liked this chapter and don't forget...your comments (and ideas) are always very welcome). Don't hesitate to sent me a message. Love you all! **


	16. Love Makes A Family

**Loves Makes A Family**

**.....**

"OK, mom…you've got me convinced…I'll talk to Meredith," Derek sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. He placed the receiver back on the phone and looked up just in time to see Meredith walk over and sit down on the couch next to him.

"What's up?"

"Hmm…not much," Derek answered while he sat back on the couch.

"Why do I get the feeling you're hiding something from me?"

Derek turned a light shade of red and Meredith frowned. She gave him a long, hard look before she lowered her voice fervently and stared at him, "Come on Derek…what's up?"

"My mom wants us to come over for a visit," Derek suddenly blurted out, straightening up.

"_What_?"

Derek chuckled nervously while Meredith sat up in surprise. "Do we have to?" she asked nervously, not caring to much by the sound of the idea. Derek furrowed his eyebrows, "Well…I haven't seen my mom since last year and a lot has changed since then. It's not too bad when she sees how happy we are…the three of us!" Derek tentatively reached out and took Meredith's hand in his, his thumb passing over the soft skin of her pulse. She looked down at their hands before meeting his eyes.

"Mere…please?" Derek searched Meredith's face for a confirmation he couldn't yet find. She sighed and bit down on her lower lip, "I don't know."

"Laura could meet my nieces and nephews…and I'm sure my mom will adore her!"

Derek smiled tenderly at Meredith; a smile that almost melted her heart.

"And when should this happen?"

"Next week…when we're both off from work?"

Meredith sighed, "OK then…we'll go!" Once again she dropped her gaze to their entwined hands. Derek followed her eyes and smiled, giving her hand a soft squeeze.

"You have no idea how happy this makes me!"

Meredith smiled and looked up at him; his eyes always ready to just drink her in.

"I'm doing it for you!" she whispered in a hoarse voice just above a whisper. Derek scooted closer, sliding a hand to cup her face. Meredith closed her eyes, feeling his warm touch against her cheek. She opened them again, knowing it was coming; and she was ready to welcome it. Derek closed the short distance between their lips in a kiss that seemed full of everything he felt for her. Her hand slid out of his as she gripped his shirt, pulling him closer to her as his lips parted hers, his warm breath a whisper against her lips. She leaned into him, her body closer to his as he sat straighter, using his free hand to wrap around her waist and scoot her closer to him. He broke away after a few moments, his breathing ragged as his head spun, a wave of happiness flooding over him. Meredith opened her eyes and was rewarded by Derek's beaming smile, "I love you so much," he softly said.

Meredith smiled, laying her hands flat against his chest, her fingers delicately stroking where his heartbeat thumped and she was sure her own pulse was in close harmony with his.

"I love you too!'

Derek slowly shook his head. His lips again capturing Meredith's before she had the chance to over-think what she'd just agreed to.

*** * * * ***

The engines of the plane announced their readiness to take off with a roar. It slowly lurched forward and began coasting down to the end of the long runway of Tacoma Airport.

"Yay…we're going!" Laura squealed as the plane turned at the end of the runway, the roaring of the engines increasing.

"Now…there's no way back," Meredith softly whispered, staring straight ahead as the plane lifted off. Derek smiled and gently took her hand in his as they sat in silence for several minutes. Finally, a tiny bell sounded to end their peace and they glanced up in time to see the '**fasten seat belts**' sign switch off.

"Mommy…? I need to go to the bathroom," Laura said, staring at Meredith while she crossed her little legs.

"Ok…let's get you to a toilet then," Meredith smiled, releasing Derek's hand and unbuckling her and Laura's seat belt. She took Laura's hand and accompanied her to the nearest toilet. Derek glanced sideways; a vast sweep of fluffy clouds stretching away like a field of white cotton. He smiled and laid back in his seat; the plane's engines softly roaring and lulling him into a dream-like state.

_Had he ever been happier_? _His life really had started when he'd met Meredith, his only love, hope and dream. Everything, he had with her and Laura promised them a great future_…

"Derek…Derek, the water was blue!" Laura giggled while she climbed on his lap.

"It was?" Derek chuckled while his eyes rested on the little girl. He listened intently while Laura explained in great detail her visit to the airplane's toilet.

*** * * * ***

The plane landed half an hour late but not a minute too soon for one of its youngest passengers. Laura had been bored and been asking Derek or Meredith non-stop if they had arrived.

"Yeah…now we're finally there!"

The air stewardess smiled sweetly as Laura left the plane at John F. Kennedy Airport and after what seemed like forever again, their passports were finally stamped and Derek had collected their luggage.

With their bags secured in the trunk of a cab, Laura was sitting in Derek's lap when they went on their way to the New York suburbs. Looking out of the window, she saw what seemed to be complete chaos; cars, buses, bicycles, motorbikes and yellow taxis and surrounding all of these was what looked to be a billion people.

"How can we ever find your house?" Laura softly asked while her eyes grew to their widest proportions.

"Don't worry sweetie. I know where we're going!" Derek assured her while he wrapped his arms securely around her small waist. By the time the cab finally pulled up in front of a big brownstone, Laura's eyes had drifted shut and she was sleeping peacefully against Derek's shoulder.

"Laura? Sweetie? We're there!"

"Huh?" The little girl mumbled sleepily.

"You fell asleep between the airport and the house but we're there, so you need to wake up to get out of the car or I'm afraid the cabby will take you with him," Derek teased as he opened the door of the cab. Laura rubbed her eyes and slid across the seat towards the door. Meredith extended her hand to help her get out of the cab. The taxi driver stood patiently by the side of the car next to their luggage he'd pulled from the trunk. "Do you need a hand getting the luggage into the house?" he asked kindly.

"No…it's OK. I've got it!" Derek told him, handing him his fair and a generous tip. "Come on…let's get you two inside." He smiled as he carried their bags towards the house, leading the way up the path to the brownstone. They walked to the front door as the last rays of faint sunlight were lost among the sagging limbs of the oak trees to the west. Derek rang the door bell and the response was almost immediate. The front door flew open and Meredith found herself chest-to-chest with Derek's mom, "You're here…FINALLY!"

*** * * * ***

"Would you have rather stayed at a hotel?" Derek asked in a soft voice while he propped his head on his hand, his elbow digging into the mattress. A rustle of the bedcovers and then a slight poof of air indicated, Meredith had rolled onto her back. She looked up and studied Derek's face, her gaze running down his forehead, dropping past his beautiful eyes, following the perfect lines of his face and then she slowly shook her head, "No…as long as we're together, I'm perfect!" she softly said. Tenderly smiling, she slowly ran one finger across Derek's lips; the skin soft and smooth, yielding gently to her touch. She returned her hand to his shoulder and slowly scooted closer to him. Her breath fell against his skin while his hands reached up to her waist, holding her softly against him. Derek watched her face as she moved nearer, her lips slightly parting and then she closed her eyes, pressing her lips to his, kissing him tenderly. Derek also closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around her, holding her close to him, each kiss exchanging more words of love than they ever could have spoken. His hand moved further up her body, reaching up past her neck and brushing lightly against her cheek before running them through the soft strands of her hair. In the silence of the night, they kissed for what seemed an eternity before they drifted off to sleep, cradled in each other's arms.

* * * * *

Toward dawn, light already peeked through the curtains when Derek awoke. He found himself pressed against Meredith's back. Carefully, he propped himself up and drew back the covers. With a tender smile, he glanced down her body, and then he carefully covered her before she woke.

His footsteps echoed as he walked across the planked hallway towards the stairs. His mom sat in her favorite cushioned wicker chair, the newspaper folded in her lap when he entered the kitchen.

"Morning."

"Good morning…sleepyhead," His mom said while she immediately rose to pour him a steaming mug of fresh-made coffee.

"Hmm…thanks mom!"

Cody came into the kitchen and sat beside Derek, his tail wagging from side to side. His eyes, clouded with marbled blue cataracts gazed up at him. "Hey boy," Derek said, scratching his mom's old dog behind his ears. Derek's mom smiled at her son, "Did you sleep OK?" she asked. Derek nodded and focused his glance on his mom's hands; her fingers curled around a mug of coffee as she brought it to her lips. Her hands were mapped with spots but still strong, he thought tenderly; caring hands that had held him and his sisters.

"I've missed you, Derek" Carolyn said tenderly. "It's been too long." Derek nodded and leaned closer to kiss his mom's cheek, "I know mom…but I want you to know I'm happy…very happy!" Carolyn smiled and touched Derek's cheek, "I can see it in your eyes son. Meredith is a lovely woman…I always knew she was good for you…and that little girl," Carolyn slowly shook her head, "…she's precious!" Derek smiled, "Yeah…she is!" For a moment, Derek and his mom grew silent then he softly said, "How's Cody doing?"

"Hmm…not so great," Carolyn said, stroking the Labrador's back, "He's having trouble lately going up and down the stairs.

"His depth perception is also gone," Derek said, lifting the dog's chin, studying his eyes.

"I think he misses the children. It's too quiet around here," Carolyn said.

"Well…that's about to change," Derek said smiling when he heard the excitement of little feet clambering down the stairs. The sound of Laura's voice echoed through the hallway, "Cody…Cody…where are you?"

"He's in here…sweetie." Derek smiled into the freckled face staring eagerly around the kitchen in search of her new, best friend.

"There you are!" Laura dropped on her knees and began stroking the dog's back. When she was done, caressing the dog, she wiggled on Derek's lap, planting a firm kiss on his cheek, "Morning Derek and…," she bit her bottom lip when she glanced at Derek's mom.

"You can call me Carolyn," Derek's mom smiled friendly while she folded a stray blonde curl behind the little girl's ear.

"OK…morning Carolyn."

"Good morning Laura! Would you like pancakes for breakfast?"

"Yay…pancakes are my favorite!" Laura squealed while she took Carolyn's extended hand to help her make the pancakes.

*** * * * ***

The sun was just beginning to creep into her bedroom when Meredith awoke. She slowly opened her eyes and was about to sit up when she heard voices speaking in a hushed tone outside the bedroom door.

"Shhh…mommy's still sleeping."

"Will she like the breakfast we've made?"

"Sure…she will!"

Meredith smiled and quickly closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep. She heard the door slide open and shut and then the feel of Laura's soft lips on her cheek.

"Mommy…mommy…wake up…Derek and I…we've made breakfast for you!" Meredith opened her eyes and smiled down on the little girl, "You did? That's so sweet. I'm very hungry!"

Derek carefully placed the tray on Meredith's lap and then gently kissed her, "Morning."

"Morning."

Laura giggled, covering her mouth with her hands, "Ewwwwww!"

"Not ewwwww," Derek said as Laura laughed, rolling her eyes. He kissed Meredith again and winked at Laura. She walked around to the other side of the bed and crawled onto it, sitting next to Meredith. She looked at the tray, seeing a pot of tea, a china cup, a plate with bread, two whole wheat pancakes, fresh strawberries and some hard boiled eggs.

"Is this all for me?" Meredith asked.

"Yep," Laura said, nodding her head.

Meredith started eating while Derek brushed some of Laura's curls behind her ear. She wiggled on the bed and giggled, "That tickles!" She snuggled closer to him and he placed his arm around her, kissing the tip of her nose.

"What would you like to do today?"

"I dunno."

"What if we go to the Zoo?"

"I've never been to the Zoo," Laura said while she glanced at Meredith.

"Then the Zoo it is!"


	17. The Look Of Love

**Author's note: One of you readers (I'm sorry but I don't know your name anymore) suggested this idea of Meredith, Laura and Derek spending a day at the Zoo. I thought hers was a lovely story and I decided to use for my fic...Thanks again ;-) I hope you still like 'A Lost Dream'. I love writing for you guys...if you have ideas for this fic, please let them know so I can use them for the story. Wishing you all a lovely weekend!**

**McJinx**

**The Look Of Love…**

Laura had seen many farm animals, especially in books but she'd never been to a real Zoo. The Central Park Zoo had bears, tigers, giraffes, zebras, elephants and monkeys and she ran from right to left not to miss out on anything. She wanted to touch a snake but Meredith explained to her she couldn't touch all animals. Instead they fed the giraffes. Laura held out a handful of food and the tallest giraffe stretched its long neck to nibble it right out of her hand. It tickled and she giggled excitedly. After an hour in the Zoo, Meredith nodded approvingly; it was a rather nice place. It had large, leafy trees and though it was just past noon, the heat in New York was unnoticeable. It was quiet too; there were just a few small groups of highly curious kids and a few couples walking slowly past cages, holding hands.

Intently, Laura watched a tiger cleaning its claws. Yawning, the animal looked up and gazed at her.

"You having a good time?" Derek asked softly while he wrapped his arms around Meredith from behind.

"Yeah," she smiled, turning around in his arms, "…and thanks for giving her the time of her life!"

"You're welcome," he smiled, stealing a quick kiss.

"Hey…what are _they_ doing now?" Laura yelled, turning around. Impatiently, she moved a strand of blonde hair out of her face. "Isn't he hurting her?"

Derek and Meredith turned around to find two Sumatran tigers mating. The male tiger's roars scared Laura and she was on the brink of crying, "NO…make 'm stop!"

"Oh…er…common sweetie, they're just…playing," Derek stammered, hurriedly scooping her up in his arms. Meredith chuckled softly, barely managing to hide her amused expression. Laura was completely lost and looked back and forth between the tigers and Meredith and Derek, "They're not playing mommy…what are they doing?" Meredith smiled and turned to Derek, "Well doctor Shepherd…how are you going to explain _this_ to her?" Derek smiled nervously and cleared his throat, "Er…maybe _you_ should explain!"

Meredith giggled and took Laura from Derek's arms, "Those tigers…," she said softly, "…were making a tiger baby…they were making love!"

"Making love?" Laura repeated with a smile "…Yuck!" Then her brow creased and she looked up at Meredith again, "Do you and Derek make love too?"

"Oh…!" Heat flooded Meredith's insides from head to toe. She glanced away, her exhale shallow. Her cheeks went hot in a heartbeat. _Crap_. They were red. She knew it! Grinning wickedly, Derek waited for Meredith to explain further but when she didn't, he continued, "When two people love each other very much…yeah, they make love but mommy will explain more when you get older." After a moment had passed, he added, "Do you understand sweetie?"

"Yeah…I'm a big girl," she said, nodding her head up and down. Then she struggled to escape Meredith's arms to watch the elephants.

Meredith blushed and smiled in a nervous, embarrassed way but Derek pulled her against him and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, "Any one ever tell you you're adorable when you blush?" Meredith just blushed more as an annoyed groan escaped her lips, "I was so caught off guard ..." Derek gently stroked her cheek, "Don't worry. It's not a bad thing when she knows I love you…and the thing about the sex…you can explain it when she's older. Look…she's already forgotten."

Meredith looked at Laura and she was hopping from one leg to another, waiting for a big, elephant to notice her…

*** * * * ***

Laura excitedly clapped her little hands when she chatted comfortably to Carolyn, how the giraffes had eaten from her hand.

"They did? And weren't you scared?" Carolyn said amusingly while she drew Laura onto her lap.

"No…they liked me…a lot!"

"Oh…they did…huh?"

"Yeah!"

"I'll just run upstairs for a quick shower," Meredith said softly while she gave Derek a quick peck on his cheek.

He nodded, "Take your time…I'll watch her!"

Across the hallway from the guest bedroom was the bathroom. It was spacious and done completely in white tile with in the middle a large, round bathtub. Meredith bit her bottom lip but then decided to take a bath instead of a shower. She turned on the warm water and let it run in the big, round tub while she undressed. Her clothes were left in a messy pile on the floor. As soon as the large tub was filled with water and bubbles, she slowly climbed in.

"Mmm!" Meredith let herself get used to the hot water and relaxed among the white bubbles. Suddenly the door opened and she instinctively bent over to cover herself but it was Derek who entered.

"Don't you know how to knock?"

Derek gave her a smirk, "I'm sorry but I want to suggest something!"

"_What_?"

Derek sank through his knees until his face was level with Meredith's, "My mom volunteered to babysit so we can go out to dinner. I wanna take you to my favorite restaurant."

"Italian?"

"Ofcourse!"

"Then I think it's a great idea!"

"Good!" Derek took his toothbrush and squeezed some toothpaste on it. Meredith closed her eyes and listened to the brushing sound. Only a moment later, she was startled by splashes, she didn't make. She slowly opened her eyes.

"_DEREK_!" He had climbed into the tub and sat next to her. Before Meredith could open her mouth in protest, he immediately sealed it close with a kiss. She enjoyed it but braced her hands against his chest, pushing him away, "Derek…we're at your mom's!"

"So?" He asked innocently, "…are you afraid she'll spy on us? She's watching Laura!" He gently kissed her neck, moving downward form her collarbone to her chest.

"No…but…," she softly moaned, "…this just feels weird!"

"OK…no sex," he said while he reluctantly let go of her. Meredith giggled at his pouting lips and moved slowly towards him for a kiss on his cheek. But when she was close, he moved his head and she kissed his mouth...

*** * * * ***

Derek took his time contemplating the specials, thoughtfully tapping his lower lip. Meredith licked her lips and closed the menu, "I'm going for the grilled tuna with herbed tomatoes and pasta."

"Good choice!"

Carmine's Restaurant was a hit in Manhattan, serving classic Italian food and Derek's favorite before he'd moved to Seattle. To his surprise, the owner still recognized him and had insisted on serving them.

After a few minutes, Derek still hadn't made up his mind and Meredith stared at him, impatiently tapping her fingers on the table.

"Derek…make up your mind! I'm starving!"

"I think…I'll go for the zucchini crepes," he finally said.

"OK…excellent choice Doctor!" The owner scribbled down the order and headed for the kitchen.

Meredith leaned against her chair, straightening her back, her eyes sparkling in the glow of the candlelight. Derek reached over and took her hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand, "You're pretty!"

"You don't look too bad yourself," she said, taking a small taste of the red wine Derek had ordered. "Mmm, this is very good!"

"Glad you like it. Giuseppe suggested it." Meredith took another sip; the wine causing a very pleasant tingling sensation in her stomach.

Pretty soon, the owner handed them their order, which looked and smelled lovely. "Here you go…buon appetito!" The meal was delicious and the wine complemented the food perfectly. When they were done eating, Derek rose and put his head around the corner of the kitchen doorway, "Hey Giuseppe…remember my favorite desert?"

"Sure Doc…comin' right up!"

The restaurant owner returned moments later with a bowl of strawberries, sliced and served with whipped cream. Derek spooned out a mouthful of the fruit and cream and extended his arm towards Meredith. She took the spoon of fruit and savored the sweet taste, "Mmmm!" When Derek again extended his arms to feed her another spoonful, he gently grasped her wrist. He extended one finger to caress the inside of her wrist as she took the fruit into her mouth.

"Oh…this is so good," Meredith sighed.

Together they finished the rest of the strawberries, enjoying the sweet taste. When they were done, Meredith wiped the corners of her mouth with a napkin when Derek went to Giuseppe to pay their bill.

…..

Warm summer air swam over them as they stepped out into the night. It was cooler than it had been earlier in the day but still hot compared to the air-conditioned restaurant.

"Wanna go home? Or shall we go for a drive?"

"A drive!" Meredith replied, putting her arm around Derek's neck and giving him a kiss, "…this way we can complete a perfect evening!"

It was still hot when Derek drove them through the city, showing her numerous places where he'd played during his youth.

"I bet you were a very, cute boy!"

"Hmmm," Derek grimaced.

Meredith giggled and ran her fingers through his curls, enjoying how the wind played with his hair. A few moments later, Derek pulled up in front of his mother's brownstone, shutting off the engine.

"We're home already?" Meredith's voice sounded a little disappointed.

"We're home!" Derek leaned closer and tilted her chin up, "Thanks for a perfect evening!" For a moment, she felt his warm breath against her cheek and then his lips touched hers.

Meredith's heart, already beating fast, sped up even more. She leaned forward with her hands on either side of his hips. Derek kissed her thoroughly and she kissed him back, sharply aware of the gentleness of his hands on her cheeks and the warmth of his lips against hers.

Derek ended the kiss slowly, rubbing his thumb against her chin, "God…I want you!" She still leaned towards him, her breaths coming warm and quick; her lips tingling, "I want you too but we can't…not at your mom's!"

Derek smiled and winked at her before he started the engine again and drove off into the night.

…..

"Mom? Where still in the city. I've met some friends and we're going for drinks. It'll be too late to drive home so we're staying overnight at my old apartment. Don't' you mind?"

…

"OK, we will…see you tomorrow!"

Meredith glanced around the living room. It was sparsely furnished but very modern with expensive paintings and large carpets.

"Is this the apartment you shared with Addison?"

"Yeah," Derek said softly.

"Why are you keeping it?"

"Addison insisted on it during our divorce. This is the apartment where I lived when I still was in med school. My parents bought it for me…and Marc. My mom keeps an eye on the apartment and sometimes family stays here when they're in the city.

"But…if you don't wanna stay…we can also go to a hotel," Derek hurried to say but Meredith crossed the short distance between them and held her finger in front of his lips.

"No…it's perfect!

Slowly, she slipped her arms around his neck pressing her body to his and whispering, "Let's make love!"

Derek swallowed hard as her lips brushed his again softly. She looked him in the eyes and kissed him again, this time with hot, longing passion. When she withdrew, she untied the belt of her dress, letting it drop to the floor, stepping back so he could get a good look at her. Soft light danced over her body when she slid her hands down her hips, across her belly and then slipped them into her panties. She caressed herself slowly and Derek gazed at her, thinking, she simply looked amazing; her blonde hair curling in waves past her bare shoulders; her lips shining and her bright, green eyes sparkling in the candlelight.

"Mere…," He slowly shook his head.

She smiled and stepped forward, kissing him again; only this time, she reached down to unbuckle his belt. Within minutes they were both naked, their clothes left in a messy heap on the carpeted floor. Derek lit a few candles, turned on soft music and poured one glass of wine. He took a sip of it and then shared it with Meredith. When she placed it on the table, he reached up to hold her face in his hands and kiss her again. The kiss was slow and passionate and when it was over, he lingered and showered her lips with kisses that were so soft, she wasn't even sure she felt his breath or lips on hers. Derek noticed Meredith's breathing came out quicker as she held on to his neck tightly, running her hand through his hair. He broke the kiss and lifted his head to look straight into her eyes. All of the love they felt for each other poured out of their eyes. Derek continued to look into Meredith's eyes as he gently cupped and massaged her breasts, feeling and seeing her chest rise up and down in a faster pace, her cheeks flush from intense desire.

She closed her eyes, feeling sexy and desired. It felt like Derek was looking straight into her soul and she could feel all his love for her.

"Derek…," she let out a moan as he intently kept looking at her, bending down to cover her mouth with his again. He smiled and pulled her down with him onto the soft carpet, continuing with his caresses. He rolled her over onto her back and nestled his head between her breasts, rubbing his cheek against her softness. Meredith was looking at him, eyes filled with deep desire. He took one nipple in his mouth and she bit her bottom lip. She moaned and closed her eyes as he removed his lips and breathed softly on her breast, tracing the aureole slowly with his tongue. Her breaths came in shorter gasps as his hand slowly snaked lower and lower until he encountered her wetness. As his finger made contact, a long, low moan escaped her lips. He kissed her again, his kisses becoming firmer, his tongue searching through her mouth as his slick fingers continued, teasing, tantalizing, thrilling her body into spasms that were not yet orgasms, but hovered on the edge as he brought her nearer and nearer to the edge. Sliding one finger inside her, he moved slowly igniting her passion even more…sliding a second inside, he moved them back and forth, making her knees tremble with desire. Derek smiled, loving the look of elation flooding her eyes. Soft whimpers fell from her trembling lips as he pumped his fingers harder into her.

Meredith felt as though she would explode from the sensations flooding through her body. The feeling of his fingers inside her sent electric shocks through her and she shuddered as he rubbed against a sensitive spot deep within her core. She slowly licked her lips and let her hand wander down Derek's chest and over his stomach. He let out a long gasp and groaned as her hand came in contact with his hard shaft. Lovingly, she stroked his thick length, grazing her thumb over the moist tip of him. She opened her eyes and looked into his blue ones, somewhat startled by his deep and serious expression.

"I love you so much," he told her in a deep and meaningful voice.

Meredith smiled and ran her fingers through his dark locks, "I know," she whispered, "And I love you too. Always have…and always will!"

Derek's muscles loosened but his arms tightened to bring her even closer. They shared one, passionate kiss before Meredith whispered against his lips, "Love me…Derek!"

Derek gently kissed her face as he fitted his body against Meredith's. He lovingly feathered kisses over her brow, her long lashed eyes and her sensuous lips. She gently stroked his back up and down with her fingertips. Derek braced himself with his arms as he placed his hard erection at her entrance. He sighed and then gently slid inside her. Meredith felt the very breath driven from her lungs as he filled her, and she held him tighter, tipping her hips to receive him.

After that, she lost her ability to think or reason. There was only pleasure, the delicious friction and stroking rhythm of the two of them, making love. Derek moved faster, held Meredith to him more tightly. His kisses grew more feverish and the words in her ear hotter as her body twisted into a little knot of need. And finally…he pushed her over the edge of release. Every part of Meredith quivered and trembled.

"Oh…Derek…I'm…ah…coming!"

She clung to him while the waves of pleasure washed through her. The feel of her feminine muscles rhythmically clenching around him as she climaxed were too much and it took Derek a few more thrusts before he spilled himself deep inside her; his body collapsing on top of her. He buried his face against Meredith's neck, breathing in her scent as he got himself back under some semblance of control.

…**..**

Meredith lay cradled in Derek's arms as the sun rose higher, slanting its beams through the windows to paint her skin in heat and light.

Making love to Derek was always intense; passionate, even rough at times and then so tender, it sometimes brought tears to her eyes.

"How do you it?" she asked him softly.

"Do what?"

Meredith averted her eyes, fighting a blush.

"Mere…what? Look at me…what?"

She shyly smiled, "How come…I love you even more each day?"

Meredith lifted her eyes slowly; met Derek's gaze and was amazed at the tenderness in it. He cupped her cheek in one hand, gently, lovingly, "Mere…don't you understand? You're my life!"

He leaned closer and kissed her; slowly at first but then more demanding, opening her mouth and seeking her velvety tongue.

When he finally withdrew, he took in a deep breath…and then…

"Marry me?"

Meredith stared at Derek, with eyes open wide.

For a moment, he was quiet but then, "…I love you Meredith. I've loved you forever…I know this thing between us is good. I want us to be a family…you, me…and Laura!"

He took Meredith's hand in his.

She gazed at him; her face still, her eyes unblinking. Then slowly, a smile shone through, as her eyes filled with tears.

"_Yes_!"

"Yes?"

"Yes…!" Meredith smiled through her tears. "Yes…I'll marry you Derek Shepherd because you're right…you're my life too!"

Derek felt a familiar longing wash over him, and the edges of past and present blurred in his mind as he wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her ear, her neck and finally her mouth.

…

Finally, sated and wrapped in each other's arms, they slept and woke to the first of many mornings they would spend till death did them part and even then they loved because…

**_their love was what legends were made of…_**


	18. Forever And Always

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy...I only wish ;-)**

**Author's note. I'm sick at home so I decided to continue a Lost Dream. Hope you like the chapter and don't forget to comment.**

**Greetz, McJinx**

**Forever and Always**

It was close to noon when Derek rang his mom's doorbell, his fingers pressing the buzzer over and over again until Carolyn threw open the door and looked at him with angered confusion, "Derek…for God's sake…where is the fire?"

"_M_…_Mom_?!"

Derek's voice caught in his throat and suddenly Carolyn's anger faded and she looked at her son, realizing something had happened.

"Derek…come in. What's going on?"

Derek grinned and walked past his mom, stepping inside the brown stone where he'd spent his entire youth.

"I'm sorry mom…I didn't mean to startle you but…!"

Carolyn shut the front door and turned to Derek, "What's going on?"

"Where's…Laura?"

"She's playing outside with Cody." Carolyn wrinkled her brow as she looked at Derek questioningly. His eyes sparkled and he had definitely trouble catching his breath but finally he managed to blurt out, "_Meredith_! I asked her to marry me…and she said: YES!" Carolyn's eyes overran with moisture as the reminder of Derek's dad proposal rang into her own mind. She smiled as Derek slowly pulled her closer, "She said, yes…mom!"

"I'm so happy for you son," Carolyn smiled. She gave Derek a kiss on his cheek and then hugged him.

"Uncle Derek…you're back! Where's mommy?"

Derek looked over his mom's shoulder to find Laura standing in the hallway, her blond curls dancing around her head.

"She's parking the car sweetie…Uh…I need to talk to you about something," Derek said as he bent and kissed Laura's dimpled cheek.

…………

Cody pounced on his prey but his old bones weren't as fast anymore and he faltered; a small brown rabbit darting out of the garden just in time.

"No Cody…bad dog!" Laura scowled at the old lab but only a moment later, her expression softened and her scowl faded into a slightly amused smile.

"Were you chasing rabbits again boy?"

Derek smiled and looked at Laura. Her clothes were smudged and her soft pink skin had several scratches while mud had collected in the creases of her small hands.

"_Laura_? Come here for a minute," Derek said softly. He took one of his sleeves and gently rubbed some of the dirt off Laura's face, "Your mom's gonna kill me when she sees you like this!" Laura laughed and squirmed, "You're tickling me," she giggled.

Derek smiled and sat back, drawing Laura onto his lap, looking down on her. She swung her short little arms around his neck and rested her head heavily on his shoulder, her little nose buried in the warm crook of his neck. She was silent for a moment but then she raised her head, looking for Cody. When she found the dog near Derek's feet, she rested her head back on his shoulder again, smiling contentedly in her own little way. When Derek saw her do this, he couldn't help but smile. _Why was Laura's happiness so contagious?_ Even when he found himself in the worst of moods, she could always raise his spirits; and although Laura wasn't born out of Meredith…she was so much like her!

Derek wrapped his arms tighter around the small, little girl and then softly said, "Laura…I have to tell you something!"

She lifted her head and seriously looked up at him, "Am I in trouble?"

Derek grinned, "No…you're not in trouble. Remember when you asked me if mommy could have another baby…sometimes?"

"Yeah…and mommy told me…that there's a mommy and a daddy and when they love each other very much, a part of the mommy and a part of the daddy make a baby…but I don't have a daddy," she softly continued. She looked up at Derek again who was desperately trying to conceal his grin at the way she explained things to him, "That's right sweetie…and what I want to say is…what if mommy and I were married and I'd be your daddy?"

Laura looked down at her lap for a moment, "So…umm…I could call _**you**_…daddy?" she asked quietly.

"Yes…you could _**him**_ daddy!" Meredith entered the garden and sat down next to Derek. Laura swallowed hard and then looked between Derek and Meredith over and over again.

"Derek will be…my daddy?"

Meredith nodded and looked at Derek while tears of happiness formed in her eyes, "Yes…Derek has asked me to marry him and I've said yes!" Laura looked between Derek and Meredith again and then rested her head on Derek's shoulder again, "I always wanted you to be my daddy," she softly said. Meredith looked up at Derek, tears resting on her cheeks as they give each other a long, knowing look. They had taken the first step to becoming a real family!

Meredith was almost hyperventilating with excitement. In less than 6 hours she would become Mrs. Derek Shepherd!

"_Meredith_? You comin'?"

A female voice called and Meredith slowly made her way upstairs. Now she really started to feel the formation of butterflies in her stomach. Inside the bedroom, Nancy cleared off some stuff from the bed and laid Meredith's dress on it; a tight strappy grey cocktail dress.

"Wouldn't you rather have worn a real, white wedding dress?" Nancy asked but Meredith wasn't listening. She'd noticed a message blinking on her mobile screen. Slowly, she clicked on the small envelop opening the message.

_**To my – almost - wife. Love you. D.**_

Meredith smiled and quickly typed in a reply before putting her cell down and turning her focus back to Nancy.

"No…I wouldn't feel comfortable in a big, white dress…this is just fine!" Meredith smiled friendly while she let her fingers glide over the soft, satiny fabric. She carefully picked the dress up and disappeared into the bathroom. About three minutes later, she pushed the door handle of the bathroom and stepped back into the bedroom, wearing the silvery dress. Its style was perfect as it hugged Meredith's slender figure.

"So…what do you think?" Meredith asked softly, waiting for a respond from Derek's sisters.

"Wow…you look awesome," Kathleen exclaimed, walking over to give Meredith a hug. "The dress fits you perfectly."

Meredith laughed, "Thanks Katy, for you honest opinion."

"Sure…you're welcome!" Kathleen beamed.

"Derek's going to be speechless if he sees you in this," Patty grinned. Kathleen nodded in agreement. Amelia didn't say anything except sniffed.  
"You OK?" Nancy asked worriedly.

"Yeah…I'm fine…it's just…when I heard Derek was about to marry again…all I could think was…there's no other woman for my brother than Addy…but now I know…they're perfect together. I've never…ever seen Derek happier!"

Meredith pulled a few Kleenex papers from a box on her dressing table and handed them to Amelia. "Thanks!" Taking them, Amelia loudly blew her nose.

Meredith quickly wiped away a tear and then softly said, "Thank you guys. I am so glad I have you to help me. When Derek and I came out to New York…I was so afraid. I thought you'd all hate me…but now I've got to know you all…," Meredith slowly shook her head. "…I just wanna say…you're my family too!"

'Look…who's ready?" The door to Meredith's bedroom flew open and Laura stepped inside holding Carolyn's hand. She was wearing a pink dress with white flowers and there were small white flowers throughout her blond curls. Meredith smiled and bent her knees slightly until she was eye level with Laura, "I think you look very pretty!"

"Mmm…you too, mommy," Laura nodded while her eyes sparkled with excitement. Meredith took Laura's hand and nodded, "Are you ready?"

"Yes," the little girl eagerly nodded.

Meredith took in a deep breath and then opened the bedroom door, more than ready to become _Mrs. Derek Shepherd_.

The minister loudly cleared his throat while he peered over his wooden desk at the gathered (small) crowd in front of him. Derek handed Laura to his mother and now…finally…it was happening! Meredith heard how Amelia sniffed and she smiled. For a moment the thought of Ellis sprang into her mind. What would her mother say if she saw her like this but then Meredith took in a deep breath and spoke in a soft but firm voice, "_**OK…here it is! Derek…I love you…in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake; hold a radio over my head outside your window kind of way. These are only a few things why I love you…so I'm only gonna say this once more…take me…choose me… andlove me**_!" Meredith smiled at her own words. She hadn't expected to say them but they'd rolled off her tongue without thinking. Derek smiled and winked at her before he took in a deep breath.

"_**Meredith…I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you. I want to build us a house and I want to settle down and grow old with you. I want to die when I'm a 110 years old…in your arms. I want a lifetime with you. You're the love of my life and God knows…we're both ready**__!" _

For a second, the minister looked a little confused at them for their strange vows but then he continued,

"_Do you Derek Christopher Shepherd take Meredith Elisabeth Grey to be your lawfully wedded wife for a long as you both shall live_?"

"_**I do**_," Derek said firmly.

"_Do you Meredith Elisabeth Grey take Derek Christopher Shepherd to be your lawfully wedded husband for as long as you both shall live_?"

"_**I do**_," Meredith said softly.

Meredith's hand slightly trembled as they exchanged rings but Derek brushed his thumb soothingly over the back of her hand. The minister smiled approvingly, "OK then…by the power vested in me, by the state of New York…I now pronounce you…_**husband and wife**_. You may kiss your bride!"

"I'd love to!" Derek winked at Meredith who slightly blushed. She could hear soft voices behind her as Derek leaned forward, softly brushing his lips against hers. For a moment, Meredith closed her eyes but then Derek's family was congratulating her while Laura jumped into Derek's arms, exclaiming happily, "Now…you're really my daddy!"

…………

Together Derek and Meredith peered through the droplet-spattered windshield of the cab that drove them to the Plaza Hotel; a gift from Derek's sisters. Meredith leaned back and briefly closed her eyes. She was floating, her whole being…so bright…so shiny. Nothing could wipe the smile from her face and she was also still a little stunned by Derek's sisters' easy acceptance of her.

"Are you happy?" Derek asked, leaning in a little closer.

"Yes," Meredith answered with a wide smile.

Derek grinned and Meredith leaned into him as he draped an arm around her shoulder. She rested on hand on his knee and moved her mouth closer to his ear, her lips softly brushing his skin, "I can't wait to get you all to myself," she whispered and smiled when she felt him shudder. A soft low moan escaped his lips but then he tugged her towards him and kissed her tenderly.

"_Plaza hotel_!" The cabby announced. Derek reluctantly let go of Meredith but instead took her hand in his as they entered the luxurious hotel as a newly married couple.

They'd barely entered the honeymoon suite when Meredith grabbed Derek's hand and pulled him to her, "Kiss me!" she whispered. Derek instantly stepped forward, drawing her to him and kissing Meredith, his lips brushing softly against hers. Returning his tender kiss, she ran her hands up his chest and slipped them under the collar of his black jacket, guiding it from his shoulders. Derek let it fall to the floor carelessly when he pulled the zipper of Meredith's dress. He then scooped her up in his arms and deposited her on the hart-shaped bed, joining her a moment later and kissing her. His hands skimmed over Meredith and she twisted her hands in his thick, black hair pulling him to her and kissing him hard. Derek moaned and pinned Meredith to the bed, kissing her more passionately as her hands slid under his shirt. When she gasped for breath, Derek slowly slid the straps of her dress down following his trail with soft kisses. Meredith pulled the dress over her head and threw it to the side while Derek impatiently lost his pants and the rest of his clothes. When they were both naked, he smiled at her, his eyes warm with desire and dipping his head to kiss his wife. When they both slid under the covers, Derek drew Meredith close to him. She ran her hands over his bare skin, delighting in the involuntary reactions of his muscles and then, she arched into him, one leg wrapping around him and holding him close. She ran a hand down his chest and Derek rested his forehead against her.

"You're killing me," he groaned, kissing her hard as Meredith wrapped her hand around his length, enjoying the helpless bucking of his hips.

"I want you Derek," Meredith whispered.

A shudder went through him and she smiled tenderly as took her free hand and kissed the inside. Then his blue eyes bore into hers as he replaced her hand with his own. Meredith could feel him against her and then he was inside her with one, short, sharp thrust and she gasped at the sudden intrusion,

"Mmm…Derek."

Derek moaned and dipped his head, kissing Meredith, his lips trailing over her mouth, her cheeks, her eyes. He took his time and Meredith started to writhe underneath him, needing to feel him better,

"Derek…," she whispered, drawing his eyes to hers again, "Make love to me."

Derek wrapped her up in his arms and kissed her hard as he started to thrust into her. Meredith moaned at each thrust and wrapped her arms around him, needing to feel him against her. Soon she was gasping with every thrust, arching into Derek, almost begging him for more. He kissed her again and then slowly slid his hand down her stomach, splaying over her as his thumb rubbed against her. Meredith moaned and threw her head back but his gentle hand forced her eyes back to him. She could see sparkles in his eyes and she clung to him, keeping her own eyes locked on him. They strained together, bodies fused, eyes never looking away until Meredith thought she couldn't take much more.

"Derek…," she gasped.

"Yeah…," he moaned.

"Oh…God," Meredith groaned, sensations rolling through her now, her whole body straining.

"That's it…let it go. I've got you…now…always!"

"Ohh…ahh…Derek!" Meredith cried out, pleasure ripping through her entire body. Only a moment later, she heard him groan her name and he collapsed on top of her. Meredith wrapped her arms tightly around him, pleasure and emotions coursing through her, making her want to cry and laugh at the same time.

"Derek…," she whispered, clinging to him for dear life, "I love you!"

Derek pulled slightly back, watching her with wonder.

"Mere…?"

"I love you," she whispered. "I love you so much!"

"I love you too," Derek whispered, pressing kisses over her face. He then noticed the tears that were rolling down her face. Meredith raised her hand to his face and found moisture there too. She drew Derek down to her, kissing him again, his lips salty with their joint tears.

When they finally withdrew, Derek pulled Meredith's hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss on the back of her hand.

"Finally…you're Mrs. Shepherd!"

"Meredith giggled and pulled Derek down to kiss her husband again…and again…

**To be continued...**


End file.
